We talk everyday. He calls me sweet nicknames. He seems into me everytime we talk but there's only ONE Problem!! Please help?

He won't meet me. We started talking on tinder in August. We then exchanged phone numbers, facebooks and even snapchat names. I know he is who he is because we have a mutual friend who I have talked to about this guy and they used to work together. He is also for sure single. He dated a girl for 7 years and they broke up in February of this year.
Anyways, he has helped me with the loss of my grandma and has always been a very positive person, helping me with any hardships I go through. We both relate. Were both single and lonely and we've had our hearts broken in the past.
He flirts with me and jokes about marriage one day. He tells me how beautiful I am and he makes me feel special.
He just hasn't met me face to face. He's always traveling for work so I get it but when he is home, he doesn't make an effort to meet. Always something else going on. Some other plans. And maybe he is busy but its exhausting. What do you think is going on? His words makes me feel he's interested but his actions don't.

Guys? Girls? Can you explain this...

Confused & hopeless

I give points to all answers.

By the way, he's an average looking guy. he's really smart. He works as an engineer. He has a big heart. Im a nurse. I enjoy his intellect.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's afraid of going to another relationship cos 7 years is a very long relationship and it might need more time than what you think to recover. At the same time he needs someone to be with, but maybe without the pressure of dating. Some guys use texting as an alternative and they don't take the second step because of their fear as I mentioned earlier. Have you tried to initiate and ask him to meet? Maybe try and see what he responds and he might open up to you and tells you why he's avoiding that! I had the same experience and the guy was scared of a new date, but we met in the end.. Don't lose hope !

    • That's exactly what I've been thinking. He won't admit to it but I think he's half not ready and have scared. I think we have such a good thing now... he doesn't want to complicate it or rush anything... he jokingly told me today that we should just show up at the court house and sign our marriage papers without even meeting lol. I think your right. I think he likes me and the idea of us but isn't sure thats what he really wants. He also told me he's stayed away from having any sex with women because hell end up falling in love and getting his heart shattered in pieces...
      He also seemed to show some concern that I might not think he's attractive enough. Though I've seen all pix and im really not judgmental. He isn't bad looking anyways.

    • Show All
    • Did you guys end up dating?

    • yeah, and he said he liked me (( so he made the move and initiated in the end )) but he didn't attract me when we met in person, so we became friends after all.. Hope this isn't disappointing !

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What Guys Said 3

  • You should ask him this question. If he is so interested then when is he going to meet you and why is it taking him so long? See what his answer his. Forget all the 'I'm busy' stuff, if he was interested enough he'd make time. You can't be expected to wait indefinitely on words alone because words without actions don't add up to much.

    You say that your friend knows this guy because she used to work with him but she doesn't know his personal circumstances right now unless she lives with him. Also, there have been cases where a friend of someone has pretended to be that person.

    Either way, tell him that you need to get this meeting arranged and it has to happen, no excuses.

    • Yeah I've asked him a few times. Like today... he genuinely got upset because he leaves for Michigan tomorrow and he's only been home a couple days and hasn't even finished doing work for his boss. He was going to stop by today and we ended up talking on the phone for an hour while he ran errands for work. We just got off and he hasn't yet eaten or packed. He said he needed to get that done..

    • Well, there is also the question of how he is going to find time for a relationship if he can't find time for anything else? It's all very well entertaining the fantasy of a relationship but the reality has to work too. How does he see things working out for you going forward? Does he see a time when he will be less busy?

    • You're very right..

  • He's got so many conversations going on Tinder, and probably other sites, that he just hasn't managed to get around to you as yet. Hard to believe,, but you are down there around #81 probably, in whatever ranking system he is using.

    Another example of how bad Tinder is, that he would rank you so low.

  • It's really tough to even speculate on this. Maybe he really is busy. But sooner or later, if you really like someone, you're going to want to meet them. I know with my girlfriend, I couldn't wait. You make time for things like that. So his behavior is confusing. I don't understand it. Maybe someone else can lend more insight than I can. Sorry. :(


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