Advice dating an older guy?

I met a guy on Tinder, he is very smart, he is well-off, has published books and is super interesting... he is 37 and I am 26. I recently got out of a relationship (about 6 months ago) and decided to start dating again. I have always dated guys my age, so this is a big change. We went on a date to this expensive restaurant and he did not let me get the check... two days after that he invited me to his house to watch movies (I know! but we didn't have sex) we just kissed and things got intense, but no sex (oral or whatsoever).

There was chemistry, obviously.. but then he took me home and that was really refreshing.. a guy my age would have had sex right away... since I wasn't really saying no, but he said it was better to wait.. and then the next day, he invited me again to come over. I asked him if he just wanted to hook up or actually see me... he said he really enjoyed hanging out with me... so anyway I went over and i slept over, we DID NOT have sex or even hook up, we just slept together cuddling...

I don't know, I just don't want to do it right away, but I want to keep seeing him! I think there is potential here, but he is much older. He could be using me and just waiting for me to "give in" and fuck him. I've seen him three times now, and before I slept over at his house he suggested to go out during the week, to the movies or have dinner. But then today he didn't mention it... I just want to do the right thing to keep this going on. I was in a 4-year relationship before, so I don't know how to do this. What would you guys do? How do older men think? He is not pressuring me for sex but it builds up! I would like to have sex with him, but I want this to last and not just be a Tinder hookup... :( what do I do?

  • He wants a relationship with me
    Vote A
  • He wants to hookup only
    Vote B
  • He wants to hookup but could be open to something more
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should wait until you're ready and comfortable to move forward. You shouldn't do something you're not ready to just bc you don't to lose him. If he likes you, and it sounds like he does, he'll wait. We respect lady's more when they make us wait and work for it, plus we feel like we've earned it and it wasn't just given to us. Any man can go and buy a fish at the store, but he goes to the river instead, not bc its easy, but bc it's a challenge and it's way more interesting. Don't worry about losing a good guy, they'll wait, it's the guys that just want sex are the ones who end up leaving if they dont get none.


Most Helpful Girl

  • hard to say what he wants from this... if you aren't comfortable yet doing it then don't. Except now, i'd suggest you invite him out in an environment where you feel like you don't have that pressure, at least for the next date, go to a movie or dinner... and don't go to his house, see how things go..


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Just be yourself that's all I have to say

  • Ask him what he is expecting. Tell him what you are expecting. I don't think he'll lie to you. Just ask. Super simple. Ask him via text. Doesn't matter.


What Girls Said 1

  • It seems like he is really into you, and like other's have expressed, it seems like you may be comfortable and maybe do not fully trust him. I bet it's really amazing to have chemistry and have a guy treat you so very special like that. Enjoy it, but understand your own boundaries and express them. Do not do something you are not ready with yet. If he likes you, he will totally respect you more for being up front about it. I would suggest, if he is into playing a sport, go have him teach you it, or play with him! Doesn't that sound fun? Or go try something new together. Be spontaneous! Show him you want to have fun with him and how much fun HE is :) Good luck and enjoy yourself!

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