Can I get a female perspective?

I will try to make this short as i can seeing as this is a prelude to my Take/Rant coming up very soon, i want to hear the Other (female) side of the story first.
When i was in middle school, i liked a few (lot of) girls, but none of em ever gave me the time of day or friend zoned me, basically, no one cared, not her, not her girl friends, hell, not even my friends.
Then in high school i blew up, got taller, buffed up and my acne cleared up, then all of a sudden i start hearing of all these girls "liking" me and then people start trying to get me to ask them out, thing is, I Didn't Like THEM. then i start hearing things like "man up" and crap like that, but the thing is, i didn't like them. Then those girls turned around and start hating me. No one went to the girls i liked n told them to "woman up".
Now, the point, i would have thought that years later, this strange phenomenon would have changed and women (not those girls) would have realized the world doesn't revolve around them, but i still seem to be in this battle where a girl likes me and I turn her down because i know its not gonna work then they get mad, and just hate me. This is in a world where I have approached girls i was genuinely interested in and been shot down, I didn't cry about it, i just moved on.

So my question is, girls why do you start bitching if a guy doesn't like you? its not automatic, why can't you look at it from YOUR perspective when you turn down Bobby Joe because you have eyes on Johnny Jock? Now Johnny Jock turns you down and you get mad and forget you recently just made Bobby Joe feel the same way.
In some cases when the guy actually does "ask" the girl out, then there is a break up, then she goes "he just wanted me for sex" FORGETTING the fact that HE didn't want/like YOU in the First place. YOU forced it. Why do you girls do this? Its childish n petty.

(lol, the names depicted in this question are fictional, and i apologize, i guess it wasn't short as I thought heheπŸ˜‡πŸ˜Ž)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Your first part of the question sounds like these girls didn't like you for who you are, they only liked you when you were "hot" or could give them popularity points with their friends, even dump guys heartlessly or reject them for shallow reasons, I completely understand how horrible this feels, but understand that guys do the same thing, but they're considered "the man" for it, men are defined for how many hearts they can score, compassion and respect is considered weakness, women are defined for how many guys choose them and stay, being constantly used and trashed by shallow guys paired with desperation to feel worthy causes women to want to feel in control, if a guy likes them more than they like him they feel in control, they mistake this insecurity-rooted vengeful unkindness for justice or empowerment, they see the place of a man as being apathetic while having someone scrambling to please you because that's the only kind of man they know and have been told to trust, they think to be more powerful than pain they have to be a "man", when a man rejects them they feel worthless, meanwhile men have no idea what true love is because they're only taught to emphasize their sexual and provider prowess not how to be a good romantic partner or sometimes even a good person. Redefining relationships and gender stereotypes is what needs to happen here, not pointing fingers at broken people. This is not to perpetuate the idea that men need to blamed for everything and that women are oppressed and need to be relieved of sacrifices or responsibility, but just to say that men seem not to like it when they get a taste of what they-or if not them, other men-tend to dish out. People have to learn to be by themselves for a while and evaluate why they do what they do and why they're so scared of rejection and what the impact of their actions yet. But in high school, introspection may not be this thorough, as immaturity is another reason why girls can be shallow and then not handle rejection well.

    • ... or... or... they can all just go with the flow.

    • Show All
    • I don't know what irks me more... the fact that you made some very valid points or the fact that some of the stuff you said are already things i do lol...
      overall though.. it is true, especially that last part, people (women) aren't gonna watch me, just selfish to the end... i just gotta do me. Well thank you for your (long ass lol) contribution...

      Also... start learning to post as yourself... i Rarely go anonymous because i speak truth and im ready to defend it, so i post as myself, even if i know what i say is going to start a ruckus. You can't speak such wise words and hide behind the anon filter.

    • I still stick with this...

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • When this happens, it's one of two things.

    They're trying to re-write history so they're still undefeated.
    If they can make themselves believe they never wanted you in the first place, then, no mark in the "L" column for them.

    THIS, by the way, is definitely not just a girl thing.
    Growing up with 4 brothers, I think I heard "Doesn't count" or "Do over" more than I heard any other two-word phrase in the entire English language.


    You have to think "like a woman" (hi stereotypes... but, really) to understand this possibility.

    See, boys decide whether they're "interested" BEFORE they approach a girl or make a move. Duh, right? Otherwise how would they know to make that move.
    Thing is... Girls don't always have that figured out already.

    In other words, when you make that move, the "Do I want her?" game is already over (and she won) -- but it's only halftime of the "Does SHE want ME?" game.
    The 3rd quarter of that game is yr lack of hesitation once you've decided to make a move. Trust me, she already knows when you're thinking about making a move -- probably before YOU even do -- so that clock is runnin', boy.
    The 4th quarter is how you make the move itself.
    THEN it's game over.

    In other words -- Unless you're so damn hot (or full of swag) that you've run up the score by halftime... SHE doesn't KNOW YET whether she wants you, UNTIL you've made yr move.

    In these terms, by rejecting her, you are scoring 0 second-half points. Which means you'll probably lose.
    ... which means nope, she doesn't want you anyway.

    It all makes perfect sense to me. You're just making the mistake of thinking her game ends at the same time your game ends.


    And now, the MOST important response:
    to this:
    "girls why do you start bitching if a guy doesn't like you?"

    ^^ Dude!
    Why are YOU bitching about... girls bitching, when they're girls you didn't even want in the first place?

    You've got no leg to stand on here, because you *know* you shouldn't give a shit. If you care about their bitching, then, you may want to go back and think about whether you DID actually want them.
    (If you're not bullshitting about that -- in other words, if you're not doing EXACTLY THE SAME thing this whole question is complaining about -- then you shouldn't care at all what they have to say about you. Let haters hate.)

    They're bitching because you were still in the game -- in their heads -- until halftime.

  • It all depends on how it's done tbh. Nobody likes to be rejected. Male or female. It doesn't matter how many times a guy gets rejected as opposed to a female, it still hurts. And if a guy is turning you down and telling you that he doesn't want a relationship or wants to be single and by himself, but 2 seconds later he's talking about this great girl that he's been with and how he's ready to turn his "player card" in, then damn right she's gonna be mad. Because he's officially a fucking liar, and nobody likes a liar.

    • you sound like you are speaking from experience... i'd be mad too. but that is the way the system goes isn't it?

    • Show All
    • I got it from the beginning. I'm not dumb. And everyone is different and reacts to rejection differently. And like I said, it depends on the situation. Each case is different. Do you want me to get into specifics here, because I can do that too.

    • If you got it from the beginning... what are we squabbling lol... you got it..

  • Your thoughts are pretty scattered, but you can bet your ass I will have a damn good response to this later!! I have to get back to my computer so I can write a book!!

  • Rejection hurts I guess?

    • yea, it really blows... and i know it does so i try to let people down with an explanation, but you women are obstinate/determined. Then there's the break up and the guy is blamed anyway.

  • you're a lot nicer than i would have been

  • No one likes to be not liked back

    • thats all you got?

    • And Rejection hurts

    • yea... duh... but girls make such a big deal out of it when it happens to them. yet every guy faces that EVERY DAY... so imagine Their hurt.

  • You do have a point. Not with me though, I just move on. As for those girls, most likely their egos got bruised. It's the same with guys. I had this guy who sent me this text out of the blue "I don't want u anymore. delete my number." Thats pretty cold & hurtful coming from someone u actually like. Though it was hurtful I tried to just move on. we ended up back together & when I decide to end it with him in a VERY nice way, let's just say that he didn't take it well whatsoever. Verbal insults, u name it. So my advice for u is to just not take it personal. People can be very inconsiderate. It's okay for them to reject or dump someone but cannot handle if it's done to them.

    • rejection hurts either way, but i have met so many girls AND women, who just think guys are rejection proof... nope.. still hurts the same. the funny thing is that these same women come out saying there no good men, AFTER they had turned now all the "Bobby Joe"s because of "Johnny Jock" and got cheated on. Its not like there aren't any good men, they turned em all down. If a guy didn't like a girl in some type of way, believe me, he will NOT approach.
      Thats why i find it funny when women call most men bitter lol... maybe some are... but not as much as those particular women

What Guys Said 1

  • Girls are so nice

    • You must live on a different planet.

    • Show All
    • That's why I said they're nice. Nice enough to read your long post and give you their perspective, which you asked for

    • lol.. oh thats what you meant.. well, it was an interesting post, i mean if a girl asked for a male perspective, wouldn't you read the whole thing?

Loading... ;