Do you think his brother told her about our secret?

Hello, I was attracted to my friend's sister so I told him that I was into her and that I would like to ask her out.

Making it clear that it should be kept between us, and should not reveal such a thing to his sister.

Today in college, while I was talking to a bunch of friends. It was time to go to class, so I turn myself to look back then I see my crush just behind me.

Our eyes met each other, and then she didn't even say "hi" or anything like she used to do. She looked at the floor and went straight to her class walking at her usual pace, not being late at all to her class.

I felt so much pain in my heart at that time, which really ruined my day. Couldn't think about anything else since this happened. My mind is yet unclear.

I would appreciate that you tell me what's going on, like do you think my friend told his sister about my feelings and do not reciprocate? Did I do something wrong? Is it a way to tell me to move on?

Looking forward to your precious opinions and votes,

Best regards

  • Ask her out and see what happens then
    Vote A
  • Move on / she rejected you
    Vote B
  • She's shy and don't know how to react
    Vote C
  • Others
    Vote D
  • Results
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's very possible that word got around, but maybe he told somebody that told somebody and it eventually got to her ears if she was around that other 'somebody'. That means she definitely knows now. I will not say it's a definite rejection because it's 50/50. That also means that she may be very shy or extremely self-conscious because she doesn't know what you see in her, how to handle the situation, if you confess what would that mean for your friendship if you god forbid leave her because of being rejected [which also means she just lost a friend], or what to tell you when it's possible that she doesn't feel the same way. But I know how she feels and is reacting so for that reason, my option is: She is shy and doesn't know how to react.

    All you can do is give her that same amount of space and see if she is going to come to you instead of you going to her. If she doesn't say anything for the whole week, then it's proof that she found out. And is avoiding you because she is afraid now. Be prepared if you do ask her out, because this may end up being the make or break of your relationship.

    • Thank you for your feedback.

      I don't know much of her too, that's why I am planning on simply dating her for the time being.
      It is not like I am going to tell her that I love her yet, I would like to learn more about her before considering a relationship.

      The thing is if she rejects me, then we can still be friends. I would be hurt, may take some distance for a short period of time then after a while I guess all things will be back as it was.

      So if I understand well what you recommend me, I shouldn't do any move toward her for the time being. Instead, I will just be as usual and wait till she reaches out for me.

      If she doesn't, then I should move on.
      If she does, I should ask her out.

      Am I correctly interpreting your advice?

    • @Asker

      Yes, in a way. Not the love part though. Just make sure your prepared for that is all I'm saying. Because even if she did reject you nonverbally, you still need closure verbally.

    • Alright, will act as you suggested. Seems one of the best options.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Everytime that this type of questions appear, I have the same answer:
    Ask her/him out. If something goes wrong, the worst case scenario would be to get rejected and you would feel shit for 2-3 days. Then you move on. Instead, it could go well and be happy about it.
    If you don't even try, oh well then you will have to be regreting yourself for not knowing what it could've been or not.
    Understand? Getting rejected is going to be a "been there done that". If it goes well, perfect! But don't do nothing, it's worse!!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 9

  • She's probably got a ton of different things running through her head mainly though she's extra self concious now & tbh u were probably already her crush so now it's even more difficult on her besides the fact that her brother most likely not only told her but more than likely teased her making it that much more delicate for her. . basically never tell anyone anything u don't want anyone else to know, but in ur case I think u kinda wanted & hoped he would as u were at a point that u NEEDED her to know, however u should have just went directly to her instead because then @ least u could've avoided the biguest issue (her brother knowing) I would try to catch up with her and ask her out depending on what u two r into, but make it a place where u can talk & b open not worried about others over hearing cause that cause shyness.. despite all the online speed hookup dating whatever crap u call it today I believe women still want the romance the actual dates a walk in the park a picnic a impromtu water fight (just avoid electronics lol) mainly tell her how u feel & what u hope for & ask her if she feels for u in such a manner jointly decide on moving forward or continuing being friends then after that decision make sure u let her know u told her brother n how it freaked u out so that u guys can deal with that & move past it cause it will effect any situationship u guys decide on... wishing u all the happiness life has to offer (hope this helps ya)

    • Thank you for your feedback, and support.

      Actually, I told his brother about the fact that I like her for the sole purpose that it shouldn't interfere with our friendship. I do really, deep in my heart/mind didn't want this guy to believe that I've befriended him in order to become closer to his sister. I thought by telling him, I would have been able to make it clear that our friendship and the fact that I like his sister are two different things.

      Now it has become awkward according to what happenned on Monday. I didn't want it to go that way, so I should be upfront and ask her out this Friday if I can have the opportunity to see her.
      Eventually if I see her tomorrow, I'll try to get the courage to book her this Friday, so that way she couldn't make up any excuse and will tell me what's in her mind.

      If she avoids me once again, I would have much more difficulties to approach her and eventually ask her out.
      It is such a difficult thing to do at this point to be honest.

  • Yes, she is shy and confused what to do.
    She has mixed feelibg with u now.
    So u basically still dont know if she is attracted with you or not. Give space first, see if she still keeps doing that strange behaviour to you.

    If yes, then his brother told him.
    How about asking ur friend if he told her?
    Are both close friends? If not, what do you think about your friends character? Just afraid he told something bad about you to the girl

    • Thank you for your answer.

      I don't believe he would have said anything bad to her about me, he is not that kind of person as far as I know him.
      Maybe I do not know much about him.

      So you suggest that I let things as they are and if she keeps on avoiding me and all, Should I let go?

      I can ask him if he told her anything but he can also deny it, so really I don't know. I'm all confused as you can see.

    • In my opinion, dont think too much.
      All u should do now.. Act neutrally.. I know it is hard, its about feeling and its quite stressful. But give space, act neutrally. I know she will probably will act that way maybe for weeks or 2-3 months ahead. U will know what to do, bcoz situation could change in the middle, u never know. Who knows she will slowly reach for u again... but slowly.. Please wait. Bcoz girl also has their own pride to talk to a guy again, whether she likes you or just have neutral feeling on you right now.

    • Well, let me tell you what happenned the other day, so maybe you can tell me what you think about the situation, and what to do accordingly.
      Lets call the brother John, and the sister Lea.

      When I was on campus, I was surrounded by two or three friends, and then texted John to tell him that I have his book so if he wants to take it back he could join us.

      So, he told me that 10 minutes he will be there to take it and leave home. Thus, when he came he was obviously with his sister. I simply said "hi" to Lea, and she said it back. Then, she was looking away and John was talking with us. It was cold outside. Nevertheless, she said to John to finish his conversation. I don't know if it was because it was cold outside and wanted to go home or she was in a hurry to run away from me lol.

  • He probably told her so now she's shy. You should ask her out. She is more than likely expecting you to.

    • Thank you for your reply.

      So I should go for it. Well, I will try to gather the needed courage to ask her out.
      The thing is what today happened let me confused as never, it is like she didn't want to be approached or anything.

    • Nah, don't read to much into things. Good luck.

  • No one can tell you what is going on, or if your friend told her or not. Ask him? Just say that she acted really weird today, I just was wondering if you had said something? Assuming he had told her, she could either be feeling weird because she doesn't feel the same, or she just gets uncomfortable/shy when she knows a guy likes her? Your best bet is talking to your friend.

    • Thank you for your opinion.

      I consider asking him, so I wouldn't have to think much more about this issue I'm currently facing.

      It will simplify things if I ask him directly, I guess as you suggested.

  • I'm like her, shyness!

  • i think he told her. he might or told her to stay away

    • Thank you for your feedback.

      I hope that you are wrong on this one, otherwise I should definitely consider to move on.

  • Just talk to her. You can never truly know what someone is feeling/thinking until you ask them.

  • I think you should try to talk to her about something.. she hasn`t rejected you.. and maybe she doesn`t even know about it.. maybe she is shy or has something else in mind.. maybe you should ask her out

  • I don't know if your friend told her or not. I don't think her not saying 'hi' is definitive proof that he told her or that she's not interested. I think if you like her then you should go for it. You won't know how she feels until you ask anyway. :)

    • Thank you for your reply.

      The thing is that our eyes did met each other, and then she looked away on purpose. In other words, she saw me but pretended that she did not I guess.

      Recently got rejected, so I would have liked to be more sure about my moves in order to avoid being hurt again.

      Rejection is not easy to handle, mainly when you're a shy person by nature.

    • Show All
    • Whether or not it would change anything depends on what he says. If you don't want to ask him though then don't. Honestly though, if you are worried, you should approach either him or her about it. Doing nothing will only drive you crazy.

    • You are right, I will be overthinking about it and will gain nothing out of it. So, I will eventually ask him hopefully he can be honest on this one.

What Guys Said 12

  • If you tell a girl's brother that you like the girl, you KNOW that he is going to tell her. Don't pretend otherwise.

    She reacted as if she is a shy girl. Be assertive and ask her for a date.

    • Thank you for your reply.

      To be honest with you, I did mess things up here I think. I really thought that it doesn't work this way when you go out with a friend's sister.

      I told him if he's cool if I date her in the sole purpose to get his approval. I mean that I didn't want that anythinf such this would interfere with our friendship, so I played it quite safe and revealed my feelings, that's all.

      Hoping that you are right, then I'll have to get the courage to ask her out and be prepare for anything that will come up.

    • Good luck! And please post an update so we'll know his this worked. If all goes well, you can PM me and I'll tell you my first name so you can name your first son in my honor! :)

    • Thank you for your support. I will make sure to post an update, if it turns up to be a positive one haha.
      Also, I will make sure to pm you. πŸ˜‰

  • First, why did you tell him unless you actually wanted her to find out? It's hard to say for sure but a good chance she knows. If it was a woman you told I'd say for sure she probably knows as women gossip but with guys it's harder to say. But, they are related so? I would go on the assumption she knows. I would ask your friend if he said anything and then if so, I would just confront her and "clear the air" so things don't continue to be awkward between you.

    • Thank you for your reply.

      I know I didn't do things right, since I basically thought it wouldn't go that way. Unfortunatly, the past is the past and what is done, is already done.

      I will have to gather the courage to ask her out regardless of whether he told her or not about my feelings. It is a quite difficult task, but I do not have any other option I think.

  • Is sounds like she is shy with you cause she is unsure how to act around you. I suggest talking to her about it. If you did anything else it just might make things awkward. As long as your friend did ok with you dating her go for it mate.

  • No you didn't do anything wrong. You did very right things. And yet most probably he said it to her. For some reason she looked away. It can be because
    1. The brother didn't like you and said her to get away
    2. She don't like you and got away
    3. She is so shy and don't know how to react

    Now given the fact she knows about you, don't take more time and ask her out. That's the only way you could know what's going on. Asking her out won't do anything bad. If it was first two reasons, you may be able to convince her that you are the right one when asking her out.

    Good luck!!

    • Thank you for your answer, and support.

      I plan on asking her out this Friday, hoping that I get the chance to bunp in to her. For the simple reason it will be more convenient to ask her out on Friday than any other day.

      I will try to gather sufficient courage to face it, been rejected for some time and started to get tired of it.

      By the way should I ask her out for a drink or you have better options as a first date?

      Looking forward to what you think.

    • Umm. I think I can't answer that. Coz I don't know your culture. In my culture offering a drink is a big nope. So I think better ask someone from your society... Don't get this wrong. I just don't know. Meanwhile you may think that girl may be not a drinker. Then you need to have options. I think something like dinner or lunch would be great in any culture. Everybody take meals so it shouldn't be a problem :D :D

    • Oh well, I see what you mean. Thanks for this advice, I will definitely take it into consideration 😊

  • i'd ask your friend if he told her first to see if he'll be honest about it.

  • Probably.

  • Lets assume your friend told his sister. One option is that she is shy and isn't sure what she thinks yet the other is she doesn't like you back and doesn't want to lead you on in any way. You could talk to your friend again and see if he did tell her.

    • Thank you for your feedback.

      Let me tell you what confuses me the most. Last Friday, we went with a bunch of friend and my friend's sister to a dinner. I didn't have the opportunity to talk to her much unfortunately.

      Nevertheless, before leaving the place I told my friend that I'm into his sister and would like to date her if he's cool with that. He told me he's ok with it. Of course, I told him that apart and I am sure that his sister didn't heard us at that time, and had no idea about my plan.

      So, while leaving she said to me "you're cool". So now that she avoided me makes things really confusing.

      I would appreciate to know what you think about that.

      Usually, she's not shy so we may exclude the first option you gave unfortunately. As for the second option, it might be a possibility that she doesn't want to lead me on.

      Nevertheless, it is useless to ask my friend again if he talked about it since it might lie in order to avoid revealing that he didn't keep our secret safe.

    • Show All
    • Alright, then I will probably take the risk and see where things will go. I am just tired of rejection since it destroys a lot of my self-esteem and confidence which are already low.

      Hoping that it works out, and wouldn't have to face rejection again.

    • Just try talking to her some more if you can before you ask her out feel it out a bit more.

  • It could be any of these. Luckily there is a simple test to tell if a girl likes you. Ask her to take off her panties and if they are really wet and taste good then she is interested.

  • If you don't want others knowing who you like don't tell them. It doesn't matter if you're in kinder garden or 50 years old, it never changes.

    • Thank you for your reply.

      The thing is if I asked his sister out without telling him, then it could have ruined our friendship. Eventually, by doing that I wouldn't be a gentleman and therefore will probably think that I used him to approach his sister which is not the case at all.

      I just wanted to make things clear, and simple instead of getting in any kind of useless troubles.

    • Also the last time I checked dating your friends sister was kind of a no fly zone, but in my opinion your friend knows whether or not you're a good guy so better you than some other dude he doesn't know. People don't think that way it seems.

  • ask her out see what happens.

  • You have nothing to lose now. Go for it, ask her out

    • Thank you for your answer.

      However, if next time she's going to avoid me too then there's no way to be able to ask her out. It will be a much difficult task. Am I right?

    • Show All
    • Alright, then this time I won't let her walk away like she wanted to. I will be upfront, and ask her out.

      It might be easy to say it, but seems tremendously hard to apply it in my case 😟

      I will have to gather huge courage to do so.

    • It's not easy. But the way it looks is that you have nothing to lose

  • Take a chance! The "no" you already have!

Loading... ;