I like you phrase of "Other times when I feel like I find someone I like and we both show interest and then they disappear." That is exactly what happened to me with a I guy I like 2 years ago and I mean I was not even looking for something serious yet cause I was just getting to know the guy but probably he thought we were not compatible or thought I was going to fast and I wanted a relationship right away which was not true but he misinterpret my signals and we had some things in common.
@kitty71 This happened to me a few months ago with a guy who was my friends with benefits. He was the one who called it off basically saying he couldn't use me anymore and was the one who wanted to stay in touch (I wanted to also cause I'll admit I've developed feelings but he was the one to bring it up first). He even told me to call him if I ever need someone to talk to. Well it has been over three months and I haven't heard from him. I drunk texted him a month ago and never got a response. I don't know what is up with this guy but it really sucks tbh
In my case this guy is the best friend of my cousin that is how I met him through a family trip 2 years ago when this guy mingle with the family and many relatives know him. I knew for the first date I went out with him I sense he was not the relationship type of guy anyway he did not believe in like marriage, cause for him it was all a phacade. I try no tto act like I wanted him to be my date anyway cause we were jsut int he phase of get to know each other so it was too soon anyway, only time could tell, but I guess what I believe it was friendship signs, for this guy thought it was signs I wanted more from him and taht probably, not sure though, turn him off from me.
@kitty71 Can I pm you more about my situation?
ok you can
But that's the thing.. can you not causally see someone without loving them?
For me no. And for monogamous people no.
Most girls will have a "casual" thing at least once in their lives, but only with a certain kind of guy, the trick is being that kind of guy.
@JohnDoe3000 that attractive model handsome guy who has too many girls knocking on his door to be added to his roster?
Pretty much, yeah... Or slightly below model looks but giving off certain vibes (the less you have your shit together the better).
@JohnDoe3000 Yeah but you do realize just because some has a casual fling with a guy it doesn't mean they don't want a actual relationship or hope for it to turn into more? Many girls want to be with their "hook ups", "fwb's" etc.. they just settle for less out of desperation sometimes.
@XRabbitHeartXTrue, but they're willing to pretend they just want casual sex so in the end he still gets casual sex where another guy wouldn't.
@JohnDoe3000 And? haha we can't all get what we want. That's life :)
But us poor below-model looks peasants can still complain about it, that's life too...
@JohnDoe3000 Yeah I didn't say you can't complain but there are bigger worries out there and struggles than not being able to get laid by a casual hookup.
Don't underestimate how important it can be, psychologically, for a young guy just to know he could. There's immense social pressure on him about that and he can begin to question if girls who want a relationship with him aren't just settling for what is their second, third, or 59th choice.
@JohnDoe3000 Why focus on girls then who will judge a guy based on this? I've literally never been attracted to a guy who wants to sleep around. It's the single most off-putting thing to my mind.
It's not about girls judging guys on this. It's about peer pressure among guys and guys worrying that if girls don't want to have casual sex with them they're not really attracted to them (that they're just settling for security or to not be lonely). I'm sure girls also doubt themselves if they never get hit on/looked at.
@JohnDoe3000 But that's the thing... most girls will not want hookups and stuff. We are inclined to seek emotional security first before hooking up :) But I get you yes. I do think there is peer pressure on guys on sex but it's often based on misconceptions or misunderstandings I think.
O yeah, it's definitely based on misconceptions and exaggerations, then again, everyone wants to feel desired.
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Lol reminded me of this meme. "What are we?""You're mine, and I'm single."
Huh. That's bizarre. When I am interested in a guy, I would hope he would pursue a relationship with me. I do not see how that is considered insecure. Insecurity is when you are lacking confidence, so not sure how you say these two things genuinely correlate.Sounds like you have had your own run ins with some females you hold a grudge against. More times than not the cases I have encountered, it has been the guy who has wanted to be the one to commit.
It has been the guy who has not wanted to commit* Oops.
@Southern-Shorty Solipism dear. You think this is all about you and how your real life is the norm with your response.On average most divorces/most relationship break ups are by WOMEN.
While I did give a brief synopsis of my opinion, you are correct to say it is the norm of my life. Is this not what an opinion is? Is not what you said how you view the 'norm' you perceive?As for breakups and divorces, if a man cheats on me, you can bet your bottom dollar he is out of there. Of course women will call it quits when the relationship is not what it should be. Why would any other woman do that to herself?
@Southern-Shorty No what I gave was a logical opinion that support by evidence and research. What you did was give an opinion based on your life then extrapolated it as being the norm for everyone else.
If you want more casual sex - try hitting on women who are different than the type you are compatible with.
chemicals released during sex affect you during sex. and no different than petting a animal holding a baby talking to a friend listening to a song you like doing an enjoyable activity... they dont have any staying power shaking hands. oxytocin is released in numerous activities and it is metabolized it doesn't just sit there waiting.. furthermore many other chemicals are being released that counteract other chemicals. if chemicals alone were responsible for everything rape would be legal. humans have agency and volition... attachment is a choice.
@AriadneSky Yea I agree with you on that too. I think overall, he'd have to find a girl that isn't attracted to him on an emotional level. And if this girl is being too attached, he needs to distance himself from her.
I agree its more comfortable having casual sex with someone you are not interested in, but if you are interested in a person you are interested it happened before the sex. look at animals, they have sex all over the place without staying together, and before thew advent of marriage so did humans even after marriage people are still promiscuous. just hold onto the idea its not normal bc there's a model of monogamy--which its a perfectly acceptable choice, but that doesn't mean its normal. or the only natural alternative. sexually. where anything else creates havoc emotionally.and guys release oxytocin as well. and the amount differs from person to person so saying its less in guys is meaningless. oxytocin gets talked about in women bc it was studied specifically in the context of breastfeeding. everyone releases it during sex which is why sex is so much fun. and it gets reabsorbed in a few hours.
@AriadneSky effects of oxytocin gets blocked by testosterone, so men are a lot less affected by those bonding hormones compared to women, so nope its not meaningless saying it is less in guys, as it is a fact.
@alphadoggystyle yep. Scientifically true.
If the girls are a couple of years younger than him then most of them would still have casual sex with some random hot guy.If they don't only want to date him seriously they either find him at least somewhat hot AND interesting so they genuinely want to be with him, or they're using him for something while their interest still lies (pun intended) with the random hot guys. For normal guys it's Russian roulette really, unless he knows they don't have casual sex with anyone.
perfect answer! so much of it is just getting in your lane.
Most men want to raise their children...
I have this difficulty. I was... repeat... was a nice guy who wanted to be cool yet sleep around. in my head, I'm fun, respectful and just want to hook up with other women who feel the same. Problem is nice guys attract nice girls. You have to turn into an asshole to get casual sex because nice girls don't seem to like casual sex. Anyway...
@Scrambledagain yeah probably cause nice girls care about their reputation and hence don't want to fuck assholes
Maybe, either way casual sex doesn't work in "nice people" realm. One has to go asshole for causal.
@Scrambledagain yeah cause you have to have no heart to be able to use another person and be able to sleep at night
if you want casual sex I would have never considered you nice in the first place-lol. Using people for sex isn't what real nice or good people do... just the sad self labeled "nice guys".
& players... which are generally 2 sides of the same coin just one know how to play the game and the other doesn't so he tries to pass it off as if he's "nice. There are good guys out there though, as woman that is obviously what you want.
@flypaper this is what bugs me right. You equate casual sex to being bad. Which it isn't. That's your opinion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having fun with other people. I'm not using anyone. A good guy would find a girl and be honest about it all and one would think she reciprocates if she thinks the same way. But this doesn't really happen. That's the problem. It's funny you mention players. They use and are successful. The guys who think like me get nothing.
@Scrambledagain And that is your opinion. in my opinion having casual sex doesn't make you bad but it certainly means you aren't a good guy either (that is a rare breed, those guys are gold!), but yeah I guess you could consider yourself a "nice" guy in that self proclaimed kind of way. Yes you are right this is my opinion, pretty much all of my friends and most women I know in real life share that opinion too, it just makes me laugh when guys talk about how great they are and complain about women talking about not being able to find a good guy then say something like that-lol.
@flypaper but by your definition, a great guy wouldn't be a type of guy to want casual sex? I'm sorry, but that is crap and people seriously need to reevaluate what makes a good person. It's just how it's done and unfortunately you are right, it' seems most women don't want casual sex. So there is a conflict of interests and probably the main reason why successful male sluts use manipulation to get women. And here is the real irony of this all: great guys are rare because a lot of potentially good guys wanted a good relationship or commitment or all of that stuff, but are not looked at by women. Women go for the popular or the bad boy or that type of thing. So a brother needs to change. And truth be told, manipulation exists because it works.
@Scrambledagain Absolutely women have been using it (manipulation) to get what they want for years and years as well but I wouldn't call them, good people either... I guess it depends on how you define a good person. Like you said we can all have our own opinions & definitions of what makes a good person and that's just mine.
@flypaper yeah and what I'm saying is that if both men and women manipulate it's bad. But a women could get her stuff (let's say money) by other means other than manipulation. It's not bad to get these things, it's the way it's done. It's the same with casual sex. It's not bad, it's how it's done to get it. And that's the problem I have, especially in the context of women stating that they equally enjoy sex and casual sex. So obviously men call bullshit on a woman's sexual appetite at times.
@Scrambledagain I'm not saying it's bad or that they are bad, I am just saying that I wouldn't call them a good guy is all... not everyone is good or bad a lot of people, most fall into the grey zone in my opinion.
Phillips v. Irons, maybe men don't get pregnant, but apparently, they may end up discovering that they are facing 21 years of child support liability because some girl gave him a blowjob and then used a turkey baster to impregnate herself. Plus, oral and fingering don't typically lead to a pregnancy. Just saying. So, that theory has its limitations. A wonderful excuse and justification, but if we're in a truth seeking mission, that theory falls apart rather quickly.
Its not a "theory", its a fact.And if you hang yout with kind of girls who suck you off and then put your cum in their vag to get pregnant, its your problem. Choose people who you hang out with better.
I'm sorry I pointed out the weaknesses in your argument, triggered a sensitive button with you, and had you resort to personal attacks and classifying your opinion as "a fact" in an attempt to make it sound stronger without really adding anything more of substance to it.I will stop poking at that button, because it's obviously a topic that you're very sensitive about.
I said , its a fact that its more likely girls getting pregnant from casual sex. its not an opinion, its logic.I wasn't personal, i was using "you" as i could use "some men who". it wasn't directed to your persona.The only triggered one here its you, as it looks like you are kinda annoyed that girls are not that open to give their vag for fingering or give oral casually (they wouldn't get pregnant anyways, right, so why not...)Because that had 0 relation to my first post.
; )So, "but for" pregnancy, are you saying that women would like to enjoy sex casually without any kind of serious relationship? You know, like oral and fingering, which don't typically result in a pregnancy.
No, its not what im saying.I just showed you how transparent you are, as it was clear why exaclty you are annoyed and reacted like this to my first post.
So, are you saying that you are totally okay with having a casual relationship with a guy if it only involves oral or manual sex?
No im not saying that.I just wrote your view on the issue, because it was clear based on your first comment.That you want girls to be open to casually suck your dick or you finger them.But its not happening, so you got annoyed.
So, then, you are not okay with oral or manual sex casually, unless it involves a relationship. So, therefore, your position has absolutely nothing to do with the risk of pregnancy.
It does too.its not exclusive at all.
So, you can get pregnant from oral or manual sex?
Obviously not.I just Knew you gonna say that. at first you seemed even smart...
So, if we're excluding vagina sex, and we admit that oral or manual sex obviously do not carry the risk of pregnancy... but you're saying that this is something that you (or "girls" in general) wouldn't be interested in... then at a minimum, we have to conclude that "the risk of pregnancy" is not really what's acting as a road block to your purported journey in finding the sexual pleasure you supposedly want (because we just identified two outs).So, then, what really is going on here? Why wouldn't you engage in oral or manual sex casually with a guy you're otherwise attracted to, unless you're in a relationship with him? Because we've already shown that it has absolutely nothing to do with the risk of pregnancy.
My first post was focused on sex.As for me, I cannot have any kind of pleasure casually just because im horny, i dont fucntion like a horny dog who looks for mate every time she feels horny. also you have bad luck on picking me as im myself have low libido.And at the start i was only talking in general.Feelings, bond, security and comittment. Thats why.
Lovely, at least we're moving away from the useless name calling and posturing and onto some substance. That's an interesting position.So, has nothing to do with pregnancy, but even with our test case of oral and manual sex, we discover that it was error to pre-suppose sexual desire. That would make sense. Why would someone be motivated to engage in oral or manual sex if they don't "first" have the desire to experience sexual pleasure? They wouldn't. The theory of motivation says that people only take "action" if where they currently are is not where they "want to be." So, if where a girl with your circumstances "is" where "she wants to be," then there's no reason for her to engage in oral or manual sex (because sexual pleasure is not really something she's after).But then you threw in an interesting carrot of "security and commitment," which adds another layer to it all.
Yeah.its simplw. I need to feel secure with a guy i plan to get intimante, be committed to him and he comitted to me. security in him gives a girl freedom to open up and start intimacy, sex, etc.as you can see, it has nothing to do with "casually pleasuring" random people.
So, we start with no or low sexual desire... not enough to find the appeal of manual or oral sex with someone you otherwise find attractive and desirable "enough" to actually engage in such activity in and of itself.But, there's a kicker... admittedly, if we add "security and commitment" to the bargaining table, then "the belt comes off." All of a sudden, something magical happens, and our non-existent or low sex drive is suddenly supercharged. With "security and commitment" on the table, we will gladly be willing to trade sex in return for the things that hold value to us... "security, commitment, the potential for marriage, children, a family, status among family, friends, other females, etc."Rather than look at one's self as a low sex drive female looking to trade sex in return for "security and commitment," it's easy to see the seductive appeal in a rationalization of conflating sexual desire with a pre-requisite of "security and commitment."
I would just like to point out... without implying that women who do this are the subject of the analogy that's about to be made... that prostitutes basically operate a similar way... "No sex, unless payment." "Payment" is a "pre-condition" to sex. Something magical also happens with prostitutes. When they receive payment from a John, they suddenly feel way more "comfortable" and "secure" and "turned on," etc.Again, the purpose of that was not to insinuate that any girl who act similarly is a prostitute. Only to highlight how difficult it is to verify (objectively) that the sex a girl is having with a guy is REALLY because she wants HIM SEXUALLY, versus just her getting "security and commitment" from him first, and simply fulfilling her end of the trade (like some kind of obligation she slowly grows to resent having to constantly pay and reciprocate).Makes it kind of difficult to trust such a person's sexual honesty (my only point).
You got it all wrong.Sex is not trading here for anything.. nobody pushes a relationship or says that somebody must give them security, if they want sex. No it doesn't work like that.Security and commitment is a base for a relationship, not for sex.
Sex comes later, within the relationship, when security is already established.
Be that as it may and assuming that is indeed true (i. e., assuming honesty on the part of the male in a heterosexual relationship) ... that's not what my point was.My only point was, assuming all of that is true... the female ends up feeling secure in the fact that the male has committed himself to her, and is with her for reasons unrelated to sex, and therefore, feels a sense of security in the fact that he is less likely to leave her (and that their relationship has a solid non-sexual basis). Great, fantastic.Now, what about the male? How is he to objectively verify or feel any sense of security that his female partner genuinely finds him sexually desirable and wants him sexually (for reasons that have nothing to do with their relationship, the security and commitment he has given or continues to give her, etc.)?
If the guy from the start only thinks and wants her to desire him sexually, i doubt he has non sexual baisis, as she has.So it looks like you just said, that even if a girl feels that a guy gave her security, great relationship, non sexual basis, etcHe was not honest with her? because he, initially, wanted her to fuck him.Is this what you are saying? so its a guy, who trades sex for security.
Again, "assuming as true" your set of facts. What that means is, we assume your set of facts to be true.. and we move on with the analysis. So, assuming complete honesty on the part of the male, and his falling in love (or what have you) from the onset with the female (in an asexual or sexually suspended idealized utopia), and handing out security and commitment like Oprah... assuming all of that is true... TRUE (i. e., beyond doubt or challenge) ...Then, let's also assume that the guy has non-sexual emotional needs as well. And let's assume that part of those needs include a need to know that his heterosexual female partner actually desires him and wants him (honestly, truly, genuinely) sexually.. separate and independent of what he provides to her in terms of a relationship, security, commitment, etc. How is the guy to go about being able to validate and objectively confirm whether that's true of his female partner?
They date, they may even move to live together, they can sleep on the same bed.Its not enough? if its pre sex phase, i mean.What kind of validation do you need, to feel desired by her?You personally?
That's an interesting answer. What's interesting about it is us taking a moment to wonder about a guy saying something to that effect to a girl. "You know all my friends, you've met my family, we're 'In a relationship' on Facebook. It's not enough? What more do you need?"Not "me personally," any guy. Not "pre sex phase," but "any" phase. Pre-sex, post-sex. What do you think is good objective evidence of verifying that a girl is genuinely sexually interested in a man, wants him and desires him sexually (independent and separate and apart from the security and commitment, or non-sexual aspects of the relationship he offers her)? What are some things that he can hang his hat on comfortably and say, "She can't get enough of my body. My masculinity drives her crazy. She genuinely loves it when I give her that extra hard angry dick. I matter to her and am important and valuable to her sexually. Sex with me is not something she could tolerate or endure living without."
You should stop putting words in my mouth. i didn't say anything about their social life and how they present themselves to the world , friends and family as a couple. I was talking about them, only 2 of them and their life together.
Okay, better! "You have the keys to my apartment, I let you drive my car, we go out to dinner from time to time. It's not enough? What more do you need?"Now...What do you think is good objective evidence of verifying that a girl is genuinely sexually interested in a man, wants him and desires him sexually (independent and separate and apart from the security and commitment, or non-sexual aspects of the relationship he offers her)? What are some things that he can hang his hat on comfortably and say, "She can't get enough of my body. My masculinity drives her crazy. She genuinely loves it when I give her that extra hard angry dick. I matter to her and am important and valuable to her sexually. Sex with me is not something she could tolerate or endure living without."
About sexYou answered your own question.If he sees her behaviour and her feelings that make him think all that what you just put here, she wants him sexually.
Her actions will tell him.
Not necessarily. That's like the John who thinks the stripper or prostitute is sexually interested in him, because she's behaving just like a woman who would be sexually interested in him would behave. That disregards the fact that this woman is receiving a valuable benefit, and is therefore putting on a performance to keep those stream of benefits coming her way.The fact that a man receives a certain input from a woman doesn't mean that it's a good indicator of how genuine or honest her sexual interest is in him.So, if the man doesn't start getting this verification before the two are in a secure and committed relationship, how will he get that kind of evidence of her honest and genuine sexual interest in him once he has given her security and commitment?
Woman who lives with you and cares about you is not a damn stripper from the club.How can you even compare
I'm not sure if you're intentionally trying to evade or avoid the question, or if you just don't feel like answering the question.How is a guy supposed to verify?
If a man doesn't see her care and love towards himAnd sees a verification of it only with sex, that man has a problem.And we come back to the point when its a guy who only wants sex, and gives all kinds of "goodies" to get it from that gril.
I told youBy her actions
Look, I understand that the subject may be uncomfortable to talk about, especially as a female with an admittedly low sex drive. Unfortunately, men and women are different. The emotional wants of women are not superior to the emotional wants of men. The emotional wants of men (or sexual wants of men) are not bad or evil. So, it's not an answer to life's problems to just vilify anything that men want, and glorify anything that women want.Also, I again reject your attempt to reframe the question. We are assuming as true the honesty and sincerity of the man towards the woman. He is not a man who "just" cares about "only" sex. But, he is a man that "does care about sex." More importantly, he is a man that has certain emotional needs that are maybe unique to men (and maybe women do or don't share). One of those emotional needs is to seek comfort, security, and verification of certain qualities about his female partner being true. How can he verify those sexual qualities?
"I told youBy her actions"Again, actions alone (without context) are not a good means of verification. If they were, then a man could easily (and correctly) conclude that most strippers and prostitutes found him extremely sexually desirable, wanted him desperately, and couldn't get enough of him.So, that's a pretty crappy test or standard.
I never vilify men's actions or desires. if you saw that anywhere in my words, its your projection on relationship between men and women and absolutely not mine.He can verify her sexual qualities when they have sex.Is this the answer you want to hear so bad?Because, i asked you to tell me what do you want women to do to give the verification. you deny to answer me.i told you, her actions. in my opinion its her actions. why actions are not good enough to verify it.
By actions i mean actions towarrd him. she can hug him, kiss, cuddle him and compliment him. spectre of actions to make a man feel sexually attractive and desired.Things are not "crappy"just because you dont understand them.
Because those actions are not corrupted by the taint of pre-payment and other benefits in the air. It's like introducing a conflict of interest into the picture. How can the guy trust anything the girl does when she's getting the benefits she wants out of him... and would be willing to do anything to keep those benefits coming her way?How can he separate (at that point) whether what she's doing (her actions) are completely disinterested and independent of the benefits that are coming her way, or if they're exaggerated or a performance in part because of what he has given and is currently giving her, which is important to her as a woman?He can no longer tell. The time for testing that has come and gone. The best test of that would have been before he gave her any kind of security or commitment. That way, she's clearly not doing anything out of reciprocity, a sense of obligation, or to keep the benefits going (because she hasn't gotten security and commitment from him yet).
"Because, i asked you to tell me what do you want women to do to give the verification. you deny to answer me."After they are "in a relationship" and he's given her security and commitment... I'm not denying you an answer, I genuinely don't know what she can do... hence, why I would love to know your ideas and thoughts of what she can do.So far, however, I think you're not understanding the dilemma or problem from the guy's POV. The act of sex does not confirm or verify that the woman could not tolerate or endure going on in life without having sex with that man... or even confirm or verify that the woman genuinely or honestly desires and wants that man sexually... those things can easily be a performance that one grows tired of playing as time goes on... and by then, it may be too late for the man (hence his need to verify this information ASAP; he doesn't want the performance, he wants the real thing).
phrased differently, "the act of sex" in and of itself does not exclude the possibility that a woman is simply pretending or putting on a performance. And if it doesn't exclude that, then what kind of value does that have as evidence or proof? What is it proof of, exactly, other than the fact that the woman is simply willing to voluntarily consent to the act of sex with this man? We know nothing about the "why" behind her actions. We are asked to simply "take her word" on the proposition that she is having sex because she genuinely and honestly desires and wants this man so strongly. How strongly and deeply does she crave this man sexually? Not that strongly, apparently, when contrasted against the contradictory information supplied by how long she was able to voluntarily and willingly defer having sex with him until he would first grant her "security and commitment."
Although, I can think of one instance where it's possible to get that verification despite the taint of a conflict of interest... the test of time. If after 30+ years of being together, the man looks back with the 20/20 accuracy of hindsight, he can rest assured that the pattern of his female partner's behavior speaks for itself.The whole point, however, is to avoid risk. That's why we seek security, to avoid risk about the future. If we have to wait until the future to feel secure, that sort of defeats the purpose of security.
You have trust issues with women. people dont enter a relationship for some benefits. this is a slut mindset, i wonder why do you have it and project it everywhere.If you can't trust her after she lives with you and shows her love, you are very bad at reading and understaning people and also really emotioanally inept.It says you are married, so i assume you value your wife the same as some street prostitute?Because both can hug you and say "honey you are so sexy today".One would say it because of her love and desire she feel for you and other just wants your money. if you dont see the line, that why also you think casual sex is normal. for you all women are "prostitues" of some kind, and thats pretty sad and disgusting mindset. I see insecurity and a person out of touch with reality, but totally consumed by his own ideas and views, which are wrong, unacceptable for someone like me, for example.
My wife is an only daughter. My mother-in-law is an M. D./Ph. D in Psychiatry and Neurology. So, while I appreciate your folk psychology analysis, my OCD mother-in-law was more than happy to let her only daughter marry me - I think I'm good as far as who I am and what issues I do and don't have.It looks like we're spinning around in circles, and I take it we've reached that point where it's easier to just argue and try to evade and reframe or attack me personally rather than confronting and discussing an uncomfortable truth about male/female relationships (and perhaps actually understanding the male POV, instead of exclusively the female POV).On that note, at a minimum, do you at least feel comfortable admitting that your behavior (or your idealized normative script for how male/female interactions "should be") reflects at all on the fact that you have a low sex drive?
I wasn't trying to do any "analysis" just told you what I see here, im very far from psychology.You are a man with a really twisted mind, thanks to god, you are just you so we are not discussing Men here, but just you. So dont say things like "understanding men", you are just one individual we are talking about here.And im not only "comfortable admitting", I was the one who told you this from the very start. to take that into consideration.
I applaud you attempting to isolate. Yet, it's not "just me" as you put it. Everyone is different, but there are some commonalities among men. Commonalities that they feel comfortable sharing among other men, and not necessarily women (for reasons that are hopefully clear when you re-read your opinions). Unless, of course, you believe you really do have some better insight into the male subculture than a heterosexual man.Now, as a woman with an admittedly low sex drive, do you believe sex is something that's important to men (in general)?
You can save your time in "applauding and appreciating" my words, it really looks ridiculous you know. I never denied the fact that sex is a part of relationship or that men see it important, take it easy making your assumptions about me based on your twisted views of reality.
I dont need to re read anything...The one who is out of touch with reality here is you and the one who thinks, that he has better insight into women's subculture is also you, which is ironic and funny as hell loland all this under the thick souce of your inflated selfworth, which just only allows you to hear yourself and nobody else. For me this conversation is over, because i'm talking to a wall.Oh and I applaud your attempts to sound intellectual was fun to see you struggle)) But at the end, your 'essays' that you wrote here, look like a little mind fart, I'm so sorry.
A husband and kids? what for? that never made sense to me, i just like casually see girls
at least this answer is honest, guys... at least respect an honest opinion as to the "why" behind the behavior... at least this girl is "aware" of "why" she thinks and behaves the way she does (and isn't lying to herself or to you when she's answering your question) ... from that point on what you "just like" as a guy is not really relevant to a question that asks "girls" for the reasons behind their thinking and actions
That's the same for me lol.
nice to see I'm not the only one in my age group that experienced the same lol
I don't have anything*
a lot of women want something casual. you're probably trying to get something casual with women who dont want that. just like women who try to get a guy who doesn't want a relationship.be upfront with what you want and only date people who want the same,. and the instant they want more- end it. so there's no pushing and pulling and nothing to complain about.
by the way a bit late but how do you define casual dating?i think most people start out casual dating. then at some point they either want more or move on bc it gets stale if you're not moving in any direction. like at some point you fall in love then youd probably want to be with them. or you dont, then youd want to move on. What do you have against actual relationships. nothing wrong with doing what you want, just asking out of curiosity. for me i like the idea of casual dating but I've never wanted to be in a commitment so i can't really say with any authority what the problem with it is. just never wanted it. but it wouldn't piss me off if a guy did. id just say no. you can just say no :)
there are lots of reasons to date that have nothing to do with starting a family. not everyone wants a family doesn't mean they can't benefit from intimacy. and relationships give valuable life experience regardless if they last.
@AriadneSky I don't want a family but I want to date someone long term
Are they your age?
@Nelsoen Usually 5 to 7 years younger prefer that. That's why I'll normally only consider girls 27 and under.
I'd say that girls 25+ are more likely to only want something casual.
"Why do girls always push for a relationship? Why can't they just "casually see" a guy?"Why can't guys just go out with a girl? Why does he need to have sex with her?Women and Men are different. They have different needs. in my opinion a relationship has something for both... a steady stream of sex from someone who loves and desires and just want to feel you in every part of her, and in return she feels like she is desired and loved. Like he really is into HER and wants to be with HER and only her. That she isn't just anyone to him, she is THE one.Casual sex, he gets instant gratification, some kind of validation that he is a man and the night off for his hand and what did she get?
Wnd girls dont crave and desire sex?
@XJohnCenax Sure and guys sometimes want and crave intimacy and security.I don't know any women who craves sex for sex's sake the crave ti to be closer to the person they love or are crazy about.
It can feel amazing and sex can be addicting but when the emotions aren't there (for me anyway) I'd get more out of just scratching the itch myself. I mean that way it's quick and straight to the point and I don't have to worry about not getting mine (which let's face it will probably be the case in a casual thing because he won't know me or really be invested in trying to know me) or caring if he doesn't get his. 2 minutes of masturbation and I get multiple orgasms and I can just stop and call it a day if I want, wouldn't need to keep going until he got there or like I said worry about not getting there at all and I con continue on if I choose to with out having to worry about building anyone back up. Getting random sex doesn't validate anything for me other then some dude was horny and I was there... wow special. A relationship shows me he wants me and not just a faceless vag. Shows me I matter, which may be the same message guys get from being sexually desired.
When I'm in love it's not scratching an itch, it's bonding and feeling close to him and literally needing to feel like he is a part of me , like he can never get deep enough. I want to make him happy, I want to be the cause of his happy, I want to experience it all with him when that emotional connection isn't there then all that stuff goes away like I said...
Why is it slutty and why does being in a relationship make it any less 'slutty'? its all the same action.