After first date stress--thoughts?

Question

Little confused here. I went on a first date on Friday with a guy I met through a mutual friend. We had a great time on the date went dancing until 2am and he walked me home kissed me at the door. Whole date he was mentioning things we could do together. Next day he texts me thanks for coming i had a good time. He then said he wanted to join me in a boxing class the next day and asked if I were free for brunch after. I said sure.

I also get a text from the mutual friend that he asked her if I said good things about the date. Morning rolls around for brunch and he cancels for work. Next day he texts asking how it was / how the rest of the weekend was. This was three days ago and we haven't talked since.

This upcoming weekend we have a party that our mutual friend is throwing and we both said we were going. He had said on the date you and your friends should come over before. But now I'm feeling weird. Is this guy just trying to be polite but not actually interested? I feel he was taking initiative but since he cancelled he needs to make plans not just small talk.

Answer 1

Tdieseler | 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Or YOU can take the initiative. You have a brain right? and you are a person? so take the initiative. Its irritating to have to plan everything, with the girl just being the passive area, just judging if she likes or doesn't like. How about She set up something She likes then...
I wouldn't talk to you for days either if I'm always the one initiating. Its annoying, tiring, and irritating... especially in a world where women want to be treated as "equals"... so equal up.

Asker

+1 y
Well I did initiate! I told him I was going to boxing if he wanted to join and he suggested brunch after. He was the one that cancelled so in my mind whoever cancelled should be the one to reschedule for when they are free
Tdieseler

+1 y
not what you wrote..."He then said he wanted to join me in a boxing class the next..."
made it sound like he wanted to tag along AND still suggest brunch. either way, initiate more.
And damn right they better be the ones to reschedule if they cancel.

Answer 2

Asker

Well I did initiate! I told him I was going to boxing if he wanted to join and he suggested brunch after. He was the one that cancelled so in my mind whoever cancelled should be the one to reschedule for when they are free

Answer 3

Tdieseler

not what you wrote..."He then said he wanted to join me in a boxing class the next..."
made it sound like he wanted to tag along AND still suggest brunch. either way, initiate more.
And damn right they better be the ones to reschedule if they cancel.

Answer 4

underconstuxion206 | 359 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

It's really hard to say, but I didn't read anything in the story that would make it sound like he's mad. And yes, he should make plans and setup the next date, you don't want to keep asking him for the next date, because then you would seem needy and if he wanted to take you out again, he will ask.

Answer 5

Anonymous

At this point? It's hard to tell. Maybe you should try to initiate again.

Asker

+1 y
Ya it's weird. I'm always under the impression guys will do what they want and no excuses. But if he for some reason got freaked out overnight it would still be nice to be friends! I think if I don't hear from him in the next day before the party I'll just send a quick "hey are you still going to Xs party tonight." Just so it's not weird and someone acts like an adult here

Answer 6

Asker

Ya it's weird. I'm always under the impression guys will do what they want and no excuses. But if he for some reason got freaked out overnight it would still be nice to be friends! I think if I don't hear from him in the next day before the party I'll just send a quick "hey are you still going to Xs party tonight." Just so it's not weird and someone acts like an adult here

Answer 7

Anonymous

Hm, it's hard to tell. I'd advise you to wait and see if he'll make a move and plan another date.

Asker

+1 y
Ya it's strange. And for the boxing class he clearly signed up bc I went without him and his name was on the list. Meaning he paid and had full intentions of going. I believe the cancellation just weirded out by the no re schedule. But you're right I'll just have to wait it out
Opinion Owner

+1 y
By the way, don't listen to the other guy, he sounds bitter. There's nothing wrong with expecting him to initiate. You have already done way more than most women would. Let him work for your attention and expect him to court you in the beginning. If he doesn't want to, he's probably not interested and you can move on.

Answer 8

Asker

Ya it's strange. And for the boxing class he clearly signed up bc I went without him and his name was on the list. Meaning he paid and had full intentions of going. I believe the cancellation just weirded out by the no re schedule. But you're right I'll just have to wait it out

Answer 9

Opinion Owner

By the way, don't listen to the other guy, he sounds bitter. There's nothing wrong with expecting him to initiate. You have already done way more than most women would. Let him work for your attention and expect him to court you in the beginning. If he doesn't want to, he's probably not interested and you can move on.

After first date stress--thoughts?

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