Turning the tables so he focuses on ME?

I have an interest in a guy who I have been friends with for about 4 months. We get along very well, talk almost every day, laugh and can be ourselves. His girlfriend broke up with him a year ago, and he is still in love with her. I have given him a lot of advice on her and was there when he cried because he missed her.

I like him very much and I can see myself dating him. He is in no position to be dating and he isn't interested in it because this girl destroyed him. I know for a fact that he really likes me and has feelings (our mutual friend told me this and showed me a convo they had about me).

I made a HORRIBLE mistake by telling him I liked him too, and would date him if he ever approached me. I think it was a mistake because now he knows how I really feel and it scares me. He hasn't rejected me and out friendship is still the same. I told him I will not do anything to make him uncomfortable, and I don't expect anything to happen unless he initiates it.

But, I am wondering now if I might be wasting my time. It has been a year and he still really loves his ex. I think of him when I am with another guy because I wish the person was him.

I have no idea what to do. I want to turn the tables so he focuses on me and forgets her. Please HELP ME! Thank you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I know that this must be hard for you but the only way for him to really move on is if he starts dating other people. It will probably be a mistake if he starts dating you right away because for him it will most likely be a rebound relationship (year it's been a year but he really doesn't sounds like he is over her).

    There is not much you can do about it because it is up to him to make a move now. He can either try to win her back or move on but doing nothing and whining about the past is a complete waste of time. You are not responsible for his happiness but you can help him in anyway you can (just don't sacrifice your own happiness over this).

    Telling him how you felt wasn't a mistake in my opinion because now at least he knows how you feel about him so whatever may come next, you will at least know that he made his choice knowing everything at stakes. As for how to turn the tables, maybe you can try being a little more aggressive: flirt with him, try getting a little physical with him. I know you might not feel comfortable with this judging by what you wrote but since he admitted liking you but does nothing but play the wounded puppy card on you, this is the fastest way to get things moving.

    Just keep in my what I said about it being just a rebound thing for him.

    I know this isn't much but I hope I helped you a lil.

    Good Luck.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think you are going to make the first move. Have a few drinks together and see if something comes up.


What Girls Said 1

  • If he's still hung up on his ex and is willing to lose you, then he's not worth it. He doesn't seem to feel the same way about you or he would've done something about it when you moved on since you say you are with another guy. Move on...a guy that is interested will chase and do whatever it takes to get the girl.