Dating a friend: Are you for or against it, and WHY?

The questions pretty much asks it all, doesn't it?

I have heard good arguments for and against over the years.

What's your opinion?





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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think friends make the best relationships. However, if it doesn't work out then you most likely lost a friend. Unless you have a rare relationship that can overcome a break up.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can see how it could be advantageous to date a friend in the sense that you're already very comfortable around each other. I don't know about anyone else here but the whole dating process and scene is so irritating to me. It's okay to be in a relationship but everything that leads up to that sucks. Being able to skip that step is a HUGE plus to me.

    Everyone's fear is losing a friend and a partner if it turns south. I can see how that would suck but I'm also of the mindset that we shouldn't hold anything back in life. Life is so short and fragile so if we think there's a possibility of a future for something we should jump on it.

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    • Very articulate. I like that.
      Question for you... have you taken that risk yourself?

    • I haven't. I don't usually do much dating or relationship stuff in general. I'm kind of a lone wolf type lol

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 12

  • I would feel betrayed if my best guy friend whom I talk to quite casually suddenly confesses that he wants more. So against it on that.
    But on the other hand, there's the problem of confusion (which is what I'm dealing with now. Any help would be appreciated.) And it happenes when you strongly suspect that he likes you romantically. It's worse since I can't ask him directly because I don't feel the same but have to carry the fear of our friendship being ruined.
    To sum it up: Even though it may destroy everything I prefer it when a guy is honest about his feelings and tells me rather that the stupid guess game. That way, there's a slight chance of saving the friendship before totall damage.

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  • I was friends with my partner for four years before we started dating, we grew up together for a little while, and it's worked out well for us so I guess I'm not against it.

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    • that's great!
      I think you and your boyfriend are very fortunate.

  • For it! There's a reason it's called 'just' friends you know ;)

    As for 'not ruining the friendship, I don't care. I can make new friends. I'd rather risk it and maybe end up with something way better.

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    • So you'd roll the dice and see what happens.

    • Yeah definitely. Life is too short not to take a chance, you might be missing out on something wonderful!

      I'd rather try and fail, than never try and always wonder.

  • I think it can work sometimes but generally speaking, it's probably a bad idea. If the relationship goes south, you've lost not only a partner but possibly lost the friendship as well.

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    • I tend to think along these lines myself... have you experienced losing both partner and friend?

    • No, I've never been in that situation myself.

  • It can be a good thing since both know each other quite well and they may have already developed a strong feeling towards each other throughout the friendship.

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    • excellent points.
      have you ever dated a friend and it turned out well?

  • The best relationships are the ones where partners are also best friends. But it's a big gamble on the friendship and relationship lasting.

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  • If you mean it as in getting into a relationship with someone you've been friends with for a while, I'm all for it. You actually know the person well by then, in my experience it's way better than dating someone you just met.

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    • thanks for responding -- do you see any downsides to dating someone you've been friends with for a while?

    • If you break up, you friendship is never gonna be the same again. If it's a very close friend, trying to date them might not be worth it.

  • Im ok with it if you both like each other

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  • A friend is just a friend because they don't appeal to you romantically. If you do its usually one sided.

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    • Perhaps.
      I have seen friendships evolve into friendships many times

  • against- because when it is over u can' be friends like in past again

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  • well, i don't have guy friends
    and i wouldn't date a female
    so i'm against it

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  • Not if its a best friend because that amazing relationship can get ruined for ever with one fight as lovers...

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    • True.
      Or the friendship could sustain the new, romantic relationship

What Guys Said 13

  • Unless you both romantically get feelings for each other. The guy is losing a freind if he tells her. If a girl tells a guy she likes him no big deal. I'd say the odds are 80/20 after highschool that if you tell a freind that you like them that it will end badly. When you tell a freind that you like them you really are risking the friendship.

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  • So many women say they want their boyfriend to be their best friend. With that logic i am therefore for it. Also a girl I like is my only friend

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    • so. do you take the risk and tell her how you feel?

    • She already knows I like her. We met on a dating site. She always use to suggest hanging out sometime but I never bothered asking her. If you wanna tell her I'd just do it in an indirect way

  • for it, you're already close and are comfortable with each other

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    • would be willing to risk the awkwardness and possibly losing the friendship if she did not feel like you do?

    • well at least i would know how she felt

  • I feel like girls are more against it. I noticed growing up as a teen none of the girls I was friends with wanted me but when I joined the air force they changed their tone. It made me upset at the time because I realized that they wanted to be "'young wild and free" and get some poor man to mop up the shit storm they called their life once their looks started to fade

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    • Bitter much?

    • Maybe lol, but it only feel that way because I noticed some of them got visibly jealous when I was with someone besides them. It even got to the point lines had to be drawn

  • Both. For it because that relationship has the solid foundation of friendship, against it because I wonder if you liked them in a romantic way in the first place or not. If you did, you may have just befriended them to weasel your way in. If you didn't, then I wonder why you would be with someone who wasn't attractive enough to catch your eye right from the start.

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    • Maybe the person who liked you wasn't much to your liking and after you became friends, the attractiveness was not of romantic kind. It happened to me.

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    • You mean if you are physically attracted to a girl friend and she isn't, you will force it upon her? Or will you give up for her sake?

    • @QueenSeondeok I don't usually set out to befriend the girls that I have enough physical/romantic attraction to. I avoid any sticky situation altogether by just not going out of my way to become buddies with those type of girls. Recently I went for a girl to make her my girlfriend (not friend), but because she was cool enough to hang out with me a bunch even though she didn't want to go out, I decided after like a month to just hang out with her because she actually must have seen me as a friend. Anyways, that ended up falling apart because for whatever reason one day she just didn't respond to my text, so I was like alright I'm moving on and we just never spoke again. What I'm saying for your thing is, that I don't think I could sacrifice my physical look requirement for just personality. I know which girls have potential to be awesome in intimacy just by looking at them. So a girl I befriended while not paying so much attention to her looks probably doesn't make the cut.

  • i would say you were never truly friends in the conventional sense if you have romantic chemistry. You were dating without the exclusivity or romantic attachment

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  • The only problem about dating a friend is the reason of you are friends and not somebody to flirt with, but if I'm attracted to a friend and I know that it's reasonable not to have dated before and I have a chance to date her, why not?

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  • Against. Why chance a good friendship..

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  • It's the best foundation, so for.

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  • I always fall for my best girl friends thats my curse :(

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  • I am for it. Because they would have better understanding of your quirks and will be more understanding of what you are.

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    • a definite possibility.
      the other possibility is what has been commented on by others...

  • If you and your friend feel strongly enough and you're both single then go for it

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    • am not asking for me per se, but it makes for good conversation...

    • I see, but still like I said in that case they should go for it

  • Personally, I don't fuck friends

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    • Good for you man.
      Didn't say anything about "fucking friends".

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    • Its a part of the relationship.
      If that's all i wanted, I get a fuck buddy.

    • I agree with what you're saying. I'm just saying, I don't fuck friends. This is because you could lose the friendship once sex is involved

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