What should I do if I am dating a guy that wants to keep what we have a secret?

we have been a really good couple but he just wants to keep what we have between us what do I do I'm so confused! I love him too much to dump him!

he said that he wants to keep it a secret because he doesn't want people to think he has to be with each other 24/7 and yes I have showed plenty of myself to him which was not a very good choose, I think


Most Helpful Guy

  • Find out why he wants to keep it a secret and why you want it to be known.

    Plausible reasons for him wanting to keep it a secret:

    - He's a player and announcing your relationship may infringe that status

    - He's afraid his friends will tell him to break up with you (Fear of social influence)

    - He's afraid that his parents may not approve of who you are and what he wants


    Plausible reasons for you not wanting to keep it a secret

    - You love him and appreciate your friends.

    - You don't see anything wrong with other people knowing.


    Why end a relationship over it not being announced? The only time I would recommend that course of action, is when it's reasonable to consider him being anything negative: A player, a jerk, abusive, etc.

    - We often think that we love someone but fail to realise how they negatively impact our lives; not saying that all relationships are bad, but that a majority of people aren't paying attention to how they can prevent themselves from being hurt. For example, an alcoholic individual may be really funny when he's drunk, but without his beer he COULD become violent. That's not a time to be around him; but it's not a "good reason" to break up with him. There's always a potential to change, as a girlfriend/boyfriend we should support our other half in what they want to do UNTIL it harms us or that we are no longer willing to support them changing.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Wow that is a good answer!!!

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    • Your Welcome

    • So as of right now, do you know what your gonna do? Or would you like my opinion on his reasoning for not wanting to show a display of public affection.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • ask him why he wants to keep your relationship private. tell him how it makes you feel, and if you really want things to change give him an ultimatum; either your relationship becomes public or not at all. if he chooses to end it instead of having an exclusive relationship with you, most likely there's a reason for it, one you don't want to know about.

  • First of all, you need to find out why he wants to keep it a secret. he is either A. Embarassed, B. seeing someone else, C. doesn't want to make it too official or D. is doing this to you because he knows you will let him get away with it... none of those are good excuses.

    When you're dating someone, it should be someone who is proud to have you as a gf.. someone who wants to show you off. You may "love" him but he doesn't "love" you because if he really did, nothing would keep him from shouting it to everyone how much he loves and cares about you.

    • He said that he was going to tell everyone next month

  • what are his reasons?

    • His reasons are becuz he doesn't want people to think that he has to be with me 24/7 and I told him that if they say that then we can tell them to mind their own bees wax but he said that he just wants it between us

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    • I don't understand why he has to wait a month, but give him until then. But if he still doesn't make it public, really question him about it.

    • Thank you, you are very kind