Does anyone else get annoyed when someone who is less attractive than you has a significant other but no girls/guys take interest in you?

Like for example, yesterday in one of my college classes I overheard this guy talking to someone else about his girlfriend and I'm like "what the hell? I'm way more attractive than he is, how does he have a girlfriend and I don't?" I just get frustrated in a situation like that because I consider myself to be decently attractive yet girls take almost zero interest in me, but this guy who is less attractive than me somehow has a girlfriend. Is it just me or does this frustrate some of you as well?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Everyone on here is calling you a dick basically thinking you're stuck up and arrogant but I get where you're coming from, I don't think you meant to come off that way. Who knows, the guy's girlfriend might be someone he knew since middle school and they just fell in love. Sometimes people are intimidated by good looking people so maybe you're getting looking than you think. I know for a fact sometimes I have a hard time even looking at a guy I find attractive because I don't feel worthy of their attention. I have low self esteem a lot of the time and get nervous around guys so sometimes I come off as bitchy but I'm actually the nicest person just extremely shy. Do you have bad breath? Haha.

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    • Better looking*

    • Thank you for understanding my question! I guess I can see why some may think it but I'm not trying to be arrogant at all. You're right, I don't know the circumstances behind how he got this girlfriend, it was just kinda frustrating when I heard it because I really want a relationship and don't get why a girls attention seems so hard to come by for me. I think part of my problem may be similar to yours. I'm really a nice person and like to think I'm fun to be with but I'm really shy too, and even more shy around girls I like. I just wish there were an easy way! Also, I brush my teeth and use mouthwash regularly, so I don't think bad breath is the problem lol.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Use that as an indication that girl WILL take an interest in you but you need to be more assertive.

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    • Yeah that's probably part of my problem. Im really shy, so being assertive is very difficult for me.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 15

  • No. I'm not bitter. Lol. Love goes deeper than appearances.

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    • I agree, it goes much deeper than appearances. The thing is looks are usually the initial cause for attraction and I just don't get why I get zero attention when I try to maintain a good look and someone else who doesn't has a girlfriend. I don't know maybe I was feeling extra lonely or something yesterday but it just kinda made me frustrated.

  • Like for example, yesterday in one of my college classes I overheard this guy talking to someone else about his girlfriend and I'm like "what the hell? I'm way more attractive than he is, how does he have a girlfriend and I don't?"

    THAT right there is why he has a girlfriend and you don't. You think it's all about looks. And it's absolutely not.

    But to answer your question... no. I have had friends, however, who have been like you with your reasoning and logic behind your questions. And if I was savage af I would have straight up told them they didn't have boyfriends because they were fucking bitches with terrible personalities lol

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    • Exactly this. He probably doesn't approach girls either and expects girls to be all over him just because he's attractive. LMFAO because that doesn't happen. The guy he's jealous of has a girlfriend because he actually tries to get a girlfriend by actually going up to girls and asking them out

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    • If you weren't jealous, you wouldn't be annoyed. The fact that you are annoyed means you're jealous. I understand perfectly

    • @Idonthaveausername you absolutely do not get it. And if you aren't going to keep an open mind and try to understand what I'm telling you then I'm done wasting my time.

  • I'm already finding you unattractive simply because of your attitude. Sure, YOU find him unattractive, but she obviously doesn't page value on the same things as you do when selecting a mate. Take me for example: I'm sapiosexual. That means that I absolutely must find your personality attractive before I can see you as physically attractive. As that being the case, looks matter very little to me beyond taking notice of their hygiene and self care.

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    • Not trying to sound arrogant, sorry if it came off that way. I know I'm not the most attractive person ever but like I said I do feel I'm decently attractive and also I try to have a pleasant and inviting personality. I'm also thinking from the point of view that looks are usually the initial point of attraction, I absolutely believe a good personality is very important. Its just frustrating to me because I feel I'm ready and want to have a relationship yet no girl ever seems interested.

    • Then I suggest you evaluate what they're are doing different. You also need to consider the kinds of girls you want to attract. A lot of women won't date a man for his looks, but his bank account, or how much he is willing to to do for her. While these are usually the hotter chicks, they know they can use their looks to get special treatment, and if you want a real relationship based on something real, then I also suggest that you don't choose base on looks.

    • Fair points. I'm looking for a real relationship and won't lower my standards for something else. Its just frustrating to me that I don't even get the slightest bit of attention from girls which makes me feel like it'll never happen for me, this is why I was frustrated in this situation.

  • It happens to girls too, i got in a serious relationship when i just turned 26 years old, and before that NOBODY wanted me, I don't know for what reason but they just didn't, and like you said it's not because was ugly, but who knows why :)

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    • I know! I have no idea why. Only one girl in my 20 years has been interested in me and I don't get it. I know I'm young still, I just want and feel ready for a relationship yet no girl seems interested in me at all at the moment.

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    • I'm super lonely. No one ever talks to me or asks me out and I'm pretty depressed because of it. Hopefully by the time I'm 80 I'll have a boyfriend 😂😏

    • I like your positive thinking, its just hard not to think about it sometimes because I know I want a relationship. I'm sure you're right that I'll find a great girl someday, I just want it to happen soon! Thanks for your opinion and good luck to you as well.

  • It has been frustrating to me, but not to the point where I've act differently. People find love in unexpected places.

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  • Take a chill pill.
    Relationships are more than just looks, so even though he is less attractive, he may have a more pleasant personality than you.
    And it is easier to meet someone when your standards are lower. I mean I was once in your shoes and there is this girl who can't multiply 2 with 2 (I'm not exaggerating) and she has had more boyfriends thorough her life than me. But at the end of the day, when I thought about it, I would never settle for the guys she goes for.

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    • I definitely don't want to settle or lower my standards. Also I always try to be pleasant personality-wise, one of my problems is I'm pretty shy around girls I like too so sometimes I may come off as quiet or not have much personality, but I try.

  • It's likely an attitude issue...

    And no, it didn't bother men when I was single and "less attractive" women had bf's. Their relationships have nothing to do with me.

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    • I know they have nothing to do with me, its just frustrating because I want a relationship but no girl ever seems interested.

    • I am not saying that I agree with the asker, but it is true that society has a certain standard of what being attractive is. Someone who does not fit that standard is usually considered unattractive. So when that person is in a relationship one could find it surprising, because usually being in a relationship is usually associated with someone who is attractive and desirable.

  • Lol same here! 🤷🏻‍♀️ There was a girl in my class who was super huggeeee and she has a fiancé. And I'm skinny as fuck and might I add attractive and have no one. But I don't really say anything like that to anyone. But I think the same thing though... only pervs and old men look at me.

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    • Good to know I'm not alone in thinking this. Don't worry I'm sure if you are "skinny as fuck" there'll be plenty of guys wanting to be with you soon enough lol.

    • Mostly fat old men lolll

    • Haha well at least you're getting some attention right? Lol

  • It depends on whether they are nice or bitchy. If nice and cool then I dont care. If bitchy, it makes me a bit sad.

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  • Having a girlfriend doesn't determine how attractive a person is. You probably don't have a girlfriend just yet because you haven't met the right person or you're not putting yourself out there.
    Another thing, a good personality overpowers good looks in the long run.

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    • I do agree, personality is super important. But usually you become attracted to someone at first based off looks, that's why I don't get the lack of attention I get vs other guys who seemingly don't put a ton of effort into looking good. You're probably right, I just haven't met the right girl, was just wanting to know if this thought ever crossed anyone else's mind.

  • How do you present yourself to girls? Your character is the main attraction to women. If you are a gentleman and caring you should have no problem finding a girlfriend.

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    • I try to present myself as nice and caring. The thing is I'm pretty shy as well, so that's where its kinda difficult for me. I try my best, but I'm not very confident going out of my comfort zone.

    • Hey everything starts off with friendship. So make more girl friends and it could lead you to a connection.

    • That makes sense. That's not always the easiest thing for me to do but its probably the easiest way to find someone too. But I don't know, like I said it feels like girls dont even know I exist most of the time, so it can be hard for me sometimes to just startup a conversation with one.

  • You probably dont have an interesting personality.

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  • A part of me gets jealous, but then a part of me thinks, if she can get a guy, then I can too! Plus if an uglier girl gets with a really hot guy, she probably is super nice and fun, so then I would want to be her friend.

    This did happen with my crush though, and the girl he was dating was really ugly and mean. In that sinerio I was REALLY jealous and I felt horrible and insecure about myself.

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    • If he can get a girl, so can I. That's a good way to look at. I do believe I can, I just wish it would happen already!

  • The " Because I'm attractive, I'm entitled to anything" attitude is probably why you don't have a girlfriend yet.

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    • You're misunderstanding what I'm trying to say. I'm not saying I'm entitled to anything, and that's not my attitude. I'm just saying I think I'm decently attractive yet get no attention from girls, and this person who doesn't appear to put much effort at all somehow attracted a girl. I'm just confused why that is. That's all, I don't believe I'm entitled to anything it was just an honest question.

    • So, just because this person isn't good looking, it means he didn't put much effort? Being in a relationship is not only about looks. This person may have an amazing personality that attracted his girlfriend to him. There is someone for everyone. What someone may find unattractive, someone else may find attractive. You have a partner but you just have to be patient and wait for her. Have a great day.

  • Yah, but then I realise people are more than their looks lol

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    • I know people are more than looks, but usually looks are what first attracts someone to someone else.

What Guys Said 7

  • No because I'm not interested in a casual or just fun relationship. I'd rather wait and find a person I really love and ultimately want to be with.

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    • I want that too, I don't want anything casual. Its just hard to find that real relationship when girls seem to not even know I exist.

    • You probably need to make an effort to get to know them personally.

  • Someone finding love is to be celebrated, it gives me hope when even people who don't meet society's standards of good looks find love and happiness, cause that's how it should be

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    • I agree. Not trying to say this guy shouldn't find love, just a little confused why I can't when I put the effort in to try to look good and get no attention from girls but he seems to put very little effort in and has found someone.

  • I will not lie, this does get to me from time to time. But then again it's my own fault.

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    • Yeah, its completely in our control to change but not always the easiest thing to do. Its good to know others feel this way too. Also, thanks for not calling me a dick like a lot of people on here lol.

    • I haven't read the other comments.

    • Well the majority of them are calling me arrogant or a dick for asking this question. A few of them are actually smart enough to understand what I'm saying though. @idonthaveausername is not one of them however.

  • They meet more girls/guys, have a more attractive personality or simply have lower standards, but I guess I get where you're coming from.

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  • Attitude and personality go hand in hand. You can be a supermodel or whatever, but if either of those are bad, it makes you ugly and makes me not want to have anything to with you.

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  • Are you ready to have a girlfriend and willing to truly work on a relationship where it could lead to something more?

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    • I'd like that, but like I said basically zero girls take interest in me. There are some I talk to occasionally, but none that take a romantic interest and I'm not romantically interested in any of them right now. Any girl I'm romantically interested in seems like they don't know I exist.

  • I've met with dudes like you. The thing is these ugly dudes have the balls to talk to the girls, you know. And of course if they get rejected they shrug it off quickly, not complain for months

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