Please help - Need Advice?

Let me preface this by saying my ex cheated on me. Most of the time I'm confident but sometimes I'm not. When I'm not, I feel rejected socially. I feel sad, anxious, and like I can't do anything right. I shut down and one word everything or become anxious and don't stop talking. This happens with girls mostly. A girl will do something that reminds me of my ex or triggers the feelings of being cheated on. When this happens, I feel rejected and not confident. When I'm not confident, I overthink everything and tend to cause people to lose their attraction to me - either by being too clingy or through other ways. Why does it shift? How do I stop it?

Most people will say it's not my fault, but I still believe I did something to cause my ex to cheat. Women tend to cheat because of a lack of emotion or because of bad emotions. I just can't convince myself that I'm not doing something wrong because I've only kissed one girl in the past year and a half. Please help


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What Girls Said 1

  • No. Relax. Sometimes people cheat due to opportunity. But even if she cheated on you due to lack emotion or anything of such sorts, that doesn't put the blame on you. The blame is still on her for cheating on you instead of leaving you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • you say you think it's your fault she cheated. there's always 2 in a relationship so every action takes 2 players. so its never just the mistake of one person. its the sum of all actions, resulting in something we might not always like... it's not your fault. don't push yourself too hard. everything happens for a reason. when you say people trigger you - be careful. people push buttons but you decide what happens next. ask yourself why you let "new" people activate old feelings from previous relationships. they are not responsible for what you feel, just because of a similar situation. instead of wondering why people activate old triggers - ask yourself why these "buttons" are still there. Good Luck, stay confident.

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