What are the ladies opinion on waiting till marriage for sex?

When me and my ex-girlfriend first started dating we were having sex. When we started taking our faith seriously and decided to stop till marriage, our relationship became exponentially more enjoyable and intimate. It seems as if most people nowadays believes this to be an archaic way of thinking. Some people would even breakup or cheat because of this despite the connection or chemistry between them. Opinions? I'll be happy to hear them.

Updates:
Thank you lovely ladies for your insights and opinions. Every one of you.

2|0
271

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am supporting sex before marriage given that the marriage age is 27-28 or even higher with higher education level. Not having sex until a very late age creates tension and fear for the person, and I have heard from my psychiatrist MD friend that there are many patients who actually have problems losing their virginity because they're kind of old like 29-30 year old, and they cannot get to the point even though they're married for more than 1-2 years. That must be sad to share a bed, a house, common feelings, but not able to have intimate bonding.

    I think sex is the most beautiful thing one can have when practiced safe and carefully with loved ones. Even there is a break-up, you mutually learn a lot about yourself and how to pleasure other partners, and it is a necessity in a long-lasting marriage free of cheating I believe. Since sex is a beatiful thing and create crazy satisfaction (imo), i think nobody should miss the train to wait until a late age.

    Well some people get married earlier for this reason to be able to practice sex within a marriage as their religion or morality suggest. However, there are many people getting married without thinking what they want from life and their partners. Some are trapped into loveless marriages. Some are cheated on. Some get divorces. I believe people should first get to know themselves in a variety of different settings rather than taking a responsibility to manage a house, live with and share the bills with someone, and have and look after kids.

    0|0
    0|2
    • In that regard, I believe it is because when some individuals grow up in their faith, they remain in a bubble. It's important to raise people in faith intelligently not ignorantly. In doing so that could solve some of the issues you have described. I personally don't think that creates tension rather social awkwardness plays a bigger role... just my opinion though.

    • Well i have seen people with good education, raised well and intelligently and still had problems because they were scared at the age of 27-29 even 35 to lose their virginity.

      Also, i have friends who got married between 18 to 23 and had kids around a year after marriar. They all are getting divorce right now, and 2 of the girls got postpregnancy depression because they noticed that they dont want marriage or kids.

      I dont think it is only faith related, living in a bubble or being ignorant thing.

      I dont care about people who like to wait for marriage. I am fine with it. This is my opinion, i didn't and wouldn't wait today even if i was virgin.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe some value in it if you are both virgins and planning to marry in your 20s. Otherwise, I think it's a mistake.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 26

  • I tried to wait until marriage but once a few relationships got serious I changed my mind. I haven't had tons of sex but I'm glad I have a few experiences to compare to each other. I know what I want and what I don't like because of trial and error. There are lots of options and kinds of sexual behavior people need to find what works for them before deciding to be with one person. I don't think waiting until marriage is a good idea, but using discretion is. Any man I've slept with has loved me and it was not just for fun. That being said some were lousy in bed, some were ok. My husband is the best of them all and it's a major factor in my attraction to him. We waited the longest of all my relationships to have sex too.

    0|0
    0|1
    • It's good that you at least tried to wait, we are only human haha. One thing I think about is when some couples get married and divorce because of bedroom problems. I would think that is one thing that could always be improved upon with time and communication.

    • Honestly. It's just sex. Being a virgin is not the greatest feeling for the girl for the first few times. Guys are born ready and it feels great pretty much all the time. When I was a virgin I was still in vet school and they cared more that I was a women with goals and ambition than me being a version. I had more to offer than just my vagina. Once people are mature enough sex is a given and they look past that if they want to get to know you, at least my experience in college graduate guys. I think it's a good idea for women to aspire to be desired for other things than good sex.

    • I totally agree with that. I'm looking at what a woman can offer in that area before sex now. My reason for waiting is that I just want to be sure that the relationship is based on a strong friendship, interests, etc. The woman I fancy right now is hard working, and kind... that attracted me much more than her looks.

  • I admire anyone who lives by their faith and abstains from sex until marriage. I respect their choice and reason for waiting. It takes great self-control and willpower

    If I loved a guy, and he wanted to wait until marriage I'd find it difficult, cos I'd want sex with a guy I loved lol , but I'd respect his decision and wait. I wouldn't cheat on him or leave him

    0|1
    0|0
  • If you feel better about your relationship because you are not having sex, then thats great for you guys - BUT, I don't like the idea of waiting for the sake of waiting. I don't care if its your religion or you think it will be more special when it first happen.. by doing that you are making sex TOO important. In your case you had sex before and then stoped, but for a lot of people they've never had sex and what can happen is that when you first do, you can be devastated because its maybe not what you expected it to be. Sex can be messy and even painful at times (in the start) and its natural, but by tightening it up as something super special you create an idea of sex being something more than it is.
    I would never wait, but I also don't want to get married.. I am glad it works out well for you tho.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think it's a great thing! I'm a virgin and I chose to wait til marriage. My boyfriend isn't a virgin and the last time he had sex was 2 years ago. So he likes the idea because it's like he can start over again. Making love with someone you love instead of drunk sex all the time and when he did lose his virginity at 16 he didn't enjoy it, it felt like the girl sorta rushed everything.

    0|1
    0|0
    • We've been together for 6 months so far and when we were still sorta friends on our 1st week of dating and getting to know each other. I told him about my decision. So hopefully nothing changes.

    • Sounds exactly like one of my friends. It's good he's on board.

  • I believe in saving sex until marriage, only if both agree that that is not the reason why they want to get married... just to have sex.

    marriage is more than sex.

    marriage is two people becoming close best friends, and they support each other...

    1|1
    0|0
  • My fiancé and I decided the same in September 2016 we are getting married September 2017, For me I feel it has somewhat hurt the intimacy in our relationship, because that was how I showed love and without it, it has became somewhat difficult I am really trying though. I think in the long run it will make our relationship a lot stronger than now we are just in the process of trying to show each other we care in other ways.

    0|1
    0|0
  • best desicion. Allows you to focus on other forms of intimacy. not just sexual interaction that has the potential to become lust

    1|1
    0|0
    • Couldn't have said it better.

  • I'm doing the same. It's challenging but yes it can make the right relationship more intimate, it would damage a weak one.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm a virgin myself and I want to wait until marriage. I want to be able to give my husband my virtue and I hope to be able to take his. In my opinion, sex hinders you from reaching that level of intimacy that last. Sex can be good at the moment but if you take it away, what will you have. You have to be able to connect with each other without sex. Sex ain't everything. It is only one part of the relationship.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I couldn't date someone who wants to wait till marriage. Sex is a huge part of a relationship for me, and I don't think I could go without it. Besides, I imagine finding out that you're not compatible with your partner in bed after you're already married really sucks.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I didn't want to wait before either, but after thinking about it, I think sexual compatibility could be improved upon in marriage.

  • It's not something that I'm doing or would be willing to do.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I got you, just make sure to stay safe out there.

  • Well, ofc I am that way too but some people aren't so I think it's best to be direct from the start so you know whether the relationship will workout or not.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I agree. Honesty from the beginning in that area is a key factor.

  • I want to wait until marriage. I don't see myself as bigger and better than anyone because of this as some might point out. But I agree that this has to be discussed at the start of the relationship so the other knows and respects your boundaries

    0|1
    0|0
    • Most definitely. It is important not to put yourself on a pedestal because of that.

  • I think its noble that you want to wait till marriage. I wanted the same thing when i was younger but had the opportunity stolen from me. So enjoy your time together.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thank you! Stolen doesn't sound so good. Many blessings for you too.

  • I'm all for it but it's hard to find a guy that wants that as they think with their mini heads these days.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I understand fully, I used to be that guy.

    • Show All
    • Thank you! I hope you do too, unless you have already! 😊

    • I haven't but thanks lol

  • I am that kind of girl who waits till marriage

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am anti pre marital sex

    0|2
    0|0
  • It's a romantic idea.

    0|0
    0|0
  • it has positive and negative things

    0|0
    0|0
    • It just takes time to see the true benefits.

  • i'm Muslim so i have no choice.
    Sex is just a wall that can protect you and crumble all in one blow.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I never heard of it described in that context before.

    • sex is a wall that can protect you means give you the love needed to live
      and crumble means ruin relationships, cause unwanted pregency and cause you to sin

    • That's insightful and a beautiful quote.

  • Total bs

    0|0
    0|1
    • Haha. I appreciate your blunt honesty.

  • I like the idea, sadly I wasted my first time on someone who definitely didn't enjoy it. Being a strong christian, I have to live the rest of my life knowing that I am now unpure and that I will never be pure for my husband, who hopefully will accept that. I wish more guys liked the idea of waiting until marriage, actually. There are very few guys who actually like the idea, so congratulations for being one of them.

    0|1
    0|0
    • If he chooses you, he chooses "you". He'll accept you.

  • I don't think why people wanna wait till marriage. It's not 'waiting' i think. They simply don't wanna have sex with someone they don't love enough to marry? To be honest i am virgin and wanna have sex with the one i will love forever. I don't think i am waiting till marrige. I just don't wanna commit anything sexual things with someone I don't love enough?
    So i think if i find the one, i will have sex even if we are just dating?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing

    0|0
    0|0
    • Neutral is good, just be careful out there. 😊

    • Done

  • I think it's the best option! (And I'm not religious.)

    0|1
    0|0
    • Yup. It is getting more difficult though.

  • My first boyfriend wanted us to wait until marriage and we were together for a year and a half. Honestly it sucked. The unending sexual frustration was one of the reasons we broke up.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't mean to pry but did he break up, you break up, or was it mutual?

    • Show All
    • The key is to not lead yourself into temptation. Focus on doing fun things that don't lead to physical intimacy. Think of it as building a strong foundation for a relationship that will last 50+ years.
      I've heard that the way you get 'em is the way you keep 'em. If your relationship is based on being physical (even short of intercourse), it won't last. Instead it's better to steer clear of it entirely. Set boundaries early on. That way you'll avoid the frustration when you can't consummate things. Oh, and you'll enjoy the non-physical intimacy more.

    • @I-am-a-nobody 😊 Beautifully said

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Loading...