Would you let your significant other have friends of the opposite gender?

Ok I'm asking because it seems at least 3 of my male friends have decided to stop talking to me because they now have girlfriends. D started to date a girl about 6 months ago and has basically started to ignore me. He only ever messaged me once in that to ask if I like him (his girl also asked the same thing). I don't as I have a long term boyfriend he knows about. And he's now continues to ignore me after I answered. And my friend T, has a girl as well. They've been together over a year but me and him only became friends 2 months ago. Well about an hour ago he kessaged me saying his girlfriend talked to their pastor about me (weird) and decided he can't b friends with me until he's closer to God (whatever that means), and he's like sorry but she gave me 2 options and clearly he picked the ditch me one. And my last male friend J has had a crush on me for like 5 years and I keep turning him down as I don't like him at all like that. And he got a girlfriend like 4 months ago I think and has like D started to ignore me and only messages me when he's either drunk or having a fight with his girlfriend. And apparently like the others she either thinks I like him or doesn't think I'm a good friend to him. My question is what's up with this because I was great friends with D and J be for their girlfriends came along and I don't understand T's explanation at all. Could someone please tell me what's happening and y it seems like these girls don't like me


0|0
1623

Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, I wouldn't have a problem with my girlfriend talking to other guys because I'm not a loser.

    Second, it sounds like what's happening is that you are probably a very attractive/flirtatious girl. It may be true, maybe it's not. That might just be the word on the street. Who knows. The important thing is that those girls are scared of you and you make them feel insecure.

    I wouldn't get mad at the guys, I'm not really sure what you could do about it. Sounds terrible. Honestly I'm a little annoyed for you haha.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm definitely not attractive or flirty. I'm awkward as fuck, and everyone knows I like another guy. so really u shouldn't feel threatened of a girl who's hung up on someone else and only that dude

    • Well then you must be leaving something out. I mean either your one of those girls who thinks their ugly and is actually very attractive or there's something big your leaving out. It's that simple.

    • besides I'm apparently one of the nicest people ever and always like and comment on there stuff so they know someone actually appreciates what they did or said

Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's the thing, D and J were interested in you romantically but you shot them both down. They went and got girlfriends. Now, you're right, they only do and will text you when they're drunk or in a fight w/the girlfriend. Because your still friendly. Which is good. SleAys be friendly. but don't be surprised if this trend continues. At your age especially, those girlfriends are very insecure so they lay down the law to the boyfriend about texting, talking with you or any other girls. People get more flexible and easy going as they get older but for now, unfortunately, you just have to deal with others insecurity about being friends with another girl.

    0|0
    0|0
    • D never liked me like that. I've always been n a relationship with one of his friends from high school. and sorry my age is actually 23. and the guys range from 20-22

    • "D started to date a girl about 6 months ago and has basically started to ignore me". Well either he did like you but gave up for the other girl or the other girl disallowed him from speaking with you.
      And why have a fake age? It completely throws off any good advice as the best advice is age relevant.

    • I didn't have a fake age. when I made the account it said 23. I don't know what happened

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • Paragraphs! !!! Use bloody paragraphs

    1|3
    1|0
  • I did not bother to read your lengthy definition. If you are in a relationship where your SO has friends of their opposite sex then I can guarantee one of two things are going to happen:

    1. Your SO is going to leave you.
    2. Your SO is going to get sick of your possessive nature and cheat. Your relationship will not last.

    0|0
    1|0
    • I asked because of my male friends being mean to ke and ignoring me now that they have girlfriends

    • That's definitely not true. What if the opposite sex friend gay? Or has a SO?

  • Of course. Why not? Doesn't bother me at all.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Let her? If she has male friends already I'm not going to tell her not to lol

    0|2
    0|0
  • Of course. Unless they've had a past of hooking up, dated or something. But what happen to you is weird. Dont they all know you have a boyfriend anyways?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I absolutely would. It is not my place to chose my SO's friends.

    0|3
    0|0
  • It's a matter of maturity, honesty and trust. Without those you won't have lasting love or friendship.

    0|2
    0|0
  • of course lol... especially not asking to ditch her current friends just because she enters a relationship... that's stupid

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, I wouldn't.

    0|0
    0|0
  • girls get really jealous and protective too i guess, relationships don't last forever maybe they'll want to hang out again when they break up. it doesn't sound like the guys' faults

    0|0
    0|0
    • well I'm not gonna stick around until that happens if they keep treating me like crap because of their girlfriends

    • i don't blame u at all

    • Yeah especially D. who claimed to be really close to me. But the first thing he said to me when finding out my mom was n the hospital was "do you like me or something ". like wow

  • People who get jealous of opposite sex friends are dumb. I have lots of female just friends and I know a lot of girls who have close male just friends

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have no problem with my wife having guy friends and she's ok with me having female friends. a lot of girls are jealous of other girls

    0|0
    0|0
    • do u have any idea y the 3 guys I mentioned have been ignoring me and being rude to me bow that they have girlfriends?

    • Show All
    • Ikr. And it's obvious that's what they meant

    • definitely

  • Yes. My last relationship ended because she didn't like my best friend, who is female.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Are you from Saudi Arabia OP?

    0|0
    0|0
  • some advice, unless your name is actually lolita maybe you shouldn't call yourself lolita. though with the 911 bit, it may be a trap. If you are sixteen, have you read Nabokov's book?

    0|0
    0|0
    • it's after the fashion from Japan. not the dang book. and my user name has nothing to do with my question

    • Show All
    • Officer Lolita,

      The fact that you keep responding, indicates that it annoys you, otherwise, why waste all that time on my comments. Either that or you are trying to keep your cover.

    • or like I said u r an annoying little idiot

  • Sure I trust her.
    Hopefully she isn't spending all day with guys haha

    0|0
    0|0
    • could u help me figure out what is going on with the 3 guys i mentioned in my question

    • Common sense.
      They she you as a potential threat, that or they simply don't like you.

  • Ah, you're a creeper. Lurking around other girls boys make you the garbage chick.

    0|0
    0|0
    • one they're my friends so no boo boo not a creep so keep trying

    • One day your guy will have you giving his female friends dirty looks. You're jealous, and can't stand to see them happy in the arms of another. You're refusing to remove yourself from the situation, stirring shit. They're a friend? Why not become friends with a guy that's single so you're not threatening to their girls, and not being a burden to your friends personal lives.

    • really? you're that pathetic you're gonna act like I'm doing something. I have a boyfriend sweetie, I don't need those girls idiot boyfriend's

  • Of course not. Men and women can't be friends.

    0|1
    1|1
  • I dunno is it ok if I have lots of girlfriends

    1|1
    0|0
  • Of course. If you don't trust her, there's no point in continuing a relationship with her.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I was asking because it seems like the 3 guys I mentioned n my question r ignoring me because of their girlfriends

    • Show All
    • well these dudes can't do any better than the girls they have now so I know the boys won't cheat. as for the girls they just seem trashy and rude

    • I'm not taking specifically about your friends here. In general, though, if someone's partner won't let them have friends of the opposite gender it's because they think they'll cheat on them. Also, if someone's overly paranoid about someone cheating on them it's often because they're a cheater themselves.

  • I only use women as fuck friends. Not significant others - at all.

    0|1
    1|5
    • Cool. I'm going to be like you too.

    • Show All
    • @Assholeman16 No I was talking about the girl who posted the statement. But your a smart guy @Assholeman16. "These girls ain't loyal".

    • It's hard to get fuck buddies though

  • Yes.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 15

  • Yes of course, because I trust my boyfriend. My boyfriend trust me as well when I hang out with my guy friends. Some girls just doesn't lime the idea. One of my guy friend got into a argument last year with his girlfriend ( it only lasted 4 months ) and it was about me, but I actually wanted to stop hanging out with him, but he didn't want to stop hanging out with me. I never really understood why but I guess some guys or girls just doesn't really like the idea of their significant other having friends of the opposite sex. It's up to the person to tell their bf/gf and help them understand to trust him/her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Bunch of boys being friends with a girl who they get along really well with can be a abit of a threat to the boys girlfriends. So they think, he and she will fall in love. She will steal my boyfriend away or she hangs out with my boyfriend more than me.
    Just those stupid thoughts that womens come across. And because of those thoughts, the girlfriend will feel insecure and will try to keep her boyfriend distance from you.
    If you dont understand, i can explain it further.. hope i helped

    0|0
    0|0
  • I like the way its worded "would you let".. If I was seeing someone and they told me I couldn't have male friends then I would break it off with him because 1. He isn't the boss of me and can't tell me what to do and 2. If he doesn't trust me then there is nothing to build a relationship on.

    I am sure that the girls don't want their guys to hang out with you because they feel threatened or the guys stopped talking to you because they never were your friends to start with and just hung around like losers to wait and see if you would eventually hook up with em.. OR they are just really caught up in their relationship and are one of those people who forget their friends when thy get a bf/gf.. either way, they can fuck off and you can do better.

    Get real friends and those will have real gf/bfs and not jealous little girls who think love in controlling each other and keeping tabs on everything the other do 24/7:)

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah I'm probably deleting and not talking to the guys anymore. I'm really annoyed with them

  • Of course. He does have friends who are girls, not an issue at all. I guess a lot of people are possessive though.

    0|0
    0|0
    • could u try to help me figure out what is going on with the 3 guys I mentioned?

    • Sounds like none of their girlfriends trust them. Probably not your fault.

  • It isn't a matter of letting. It isn't my place to tell him he can't. He can do whatever he wants as long as he isn't cheating on me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah I would and he does. I also have male friends

    0|0
    0|0
    • is there any reason y the 3 set of couples n my question feel the need to stop letting the guys b friends with me?

    • Show All
    • And I'm the one they don't trust them with?

    • I'm not sure, I don't know how they think to say for certain 😔

  • You're a threat to them. They don't know you and you might as wel have some friends with benefits thing goin on. Or on your agenda.
    And frankly, i can relate. My alarm bells would start ringing too. It's almost impossible to be friends this close without being attracted to each other.

    0|0
    0|0
    • no it's possible. I have a boyfriend, u can be close and frienda with the opposite gender and not like them

  • Number 1 they bitches number 2 they bitches and 3 they bitches. Yeah he can have his friends who are girls I don't care

    0|0
    0|0
    • But y r they doing that. especially the first one he has a lot of female friends. And literally the apparent reason they think I like him is I always comment or tag him n stuff. do they not realize maybe I like the stuff he post, and we have the same interest so I tag him sometimes? and he has male friends who do the same crap

    • Show All
    • Yeah I want nothing to do with any of those girls "men". they r definitely not my type at all, especially if at the first chance of getting laid (D) they abandoned their friend and treat her like shit

    • Not your fault girly

  • It depends on whether or not they can be trusted to have female friends.

    0|0
    0|0
  • let? people pick their own friends I would never even consider trying to stop my partner seeing a friend

    0|0
    0|0
    • could u tell me y the 3 guys n my question seem to be ignoring me now that they uave girlfriends

    • Show All
    • they sounds like morons, I don't think it's going to be much of a loss there

    • Yeah and the guy who just got the girlfriend and is posting those things should have been deleted over a year ago for something he said to me. he got lucky he didn't

  • Of course I would- guys and girls can indeed just be friends.

    0|0
    0|0
  • sure as long as he doesn't spend more time with them than me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, happens all the time. Some guys don't admit it but only be your friend in case you decide to like them after all. Some go out with jealous/insecure women and give up female friends to avoid hassle from her. Disappointing but happens!

    0|0
    0|0
  • No I wouldn't. I would lock him and he could only talk to his mom over phone

    0|0
    0|0
  • If your SO has a history then no but if you trust them and they still pay attention to you and spend most of their time with you that's fine. I have a lot of guy friends. I can't help it. I get along with them so much better. But I would never ever cheat

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...