Why don't hook up's turn into relationships for me?

I usually have sex with guys on the first date and I usually don't hear from them after the first few dates. Why don't they want a relationship with me after I have sex with them right away?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say there are three possibilities..

    1. They were interested in you and then lost interest in you because they assumed "gee if she was that easy for me to get I wonder how many other guys got her that easily". Key point, guys do NOT care that you were easy for THEM. They are generally only turned off if they think you were easy for OTHER GUYS. Like if he felt like he was a special case and that you don't normally sleep with guys that easily then he wouldn't care.

    2. They never had any interest in a relationship with you anyways. They are generally the type of guys who attract women easily and want to enjoy their options for as long as possible before settling down.

    3. They didn't lose interest in you for having sex with them on the first date and they were open to a relationship, BUT you didn't have what they were looking for in a relationship. So maybe they felt your personalities were incompatible or maybe even because the sex was bad.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, because you're easy. Guys love to chase girls, but when you just give yourself to them right away, they lose interest and respect for you in a way..

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    • False. Guys who like chasing like chasing. Guys who actually like and respect her, will like her sex or no sex.

    • @AriadneSky Not in my experience

What Guys Said 23

  • Cause we lose ambition to be with her once we reached the home run plate on day 1 --> there isn't enough emotional connection there to keep us wanting you once our sexual desires have emptied

    When our mojo is gone after sex, we as humans need reason to want to stAy with her --> that comes from emotional development between the two people. Sex isn't enough

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  • I'm the kind of guy that usually hooks up with girls I talk to online on the first date or 2nd but I keep talking to them an usually date them but most guys just want the sex then there gone. i just like my girls to put out an I'm not patient an I know when I really want someone cuz I'm very picky an I know I want them sexually an personality wise or I wouldn't be talking to them an pursuing them. but I don't like serious commitment I just like the bf/gf type relationship staying the night together here an there pretty often like few times a week an seeing each other least every 2 or 3 days hanging out or going out. i just don't want to live with someone fully.

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  • guys might think u just wanna smash and thats it.. start to see yourself as the prize. tell urself before your date. "im the prize" and make him work for it. once u start believing it, he will start to sense it too. dont wait forever to have sex with him, but try having sex on the one date and then going to the coffee shop the next. make him think, make him work. good luck :)

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  • LOL. You're either trolling or you're about as dense as a brick.

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  • There's your mistake, in the first few words! You give 'em what they want without them having to work for it. Keep your knickers on in future! LOL!

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  • Hello! That is where you are making the mistake is that you are giving it up on the first date, the way you should go about it is tease them a little while like maybe after 4 or 5 dates bc they are thinking that you are too easy and that you are desperate for sex, if you tease them a little then they will have more respect for you and not label you as a slut and in all my years of dating and having sex with a girlfriend has it ever been on a first date ( she would suggest it) but I would say no bc I want to get to you know better before we tackle that subject and when it happens after those few dates then he probably will get back with you but I suggest that you never do it on the first date!

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  • Let's assume you're not trolling us...

    Most of the time the guys were not that into you but they're not about to pass up free sex, and sometimes (not nearly as often as women think) the guys have this idea that you're not worthy because you had sex so soon.

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  • If you were actually a girl, you wouldn't have worded that like you did.

    NEXT!!

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  • If you're not trolling you are a sloot

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  • *something something* why buy the cow... milk is free... etc

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  • People think today that is way to have a relationship because they fear feelings and it is completely wrong

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  • because they are hookups lol most people who are into hook ups aren't interested in relationships.

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    • And you don't help yourself when you make yourself out to be easy

  • Not all are that way but you'll go through a lot who are before you find them

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  • bcs u gave yourself to them, they just want u...

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  • Never have sex on the first date.

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  • Honestly, because you are a slut. And guys don't want to date sluts.

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  • OsmiumGirl, stop banging dudes on the first date.

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  • You're an idiot. Think about it.

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  • Lol.

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  • Most first dates don't turn into relationships. Having sex doesn't really change that.

    Some guys might consider you less dating material. Others consider you more dating material. But in either case most first dates don't turn into relationships.

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  • Maybe that's all they wanted, I mean that's usually the case if you have sex the first time even though it can turn into more it usually doesn't

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  • It depends on the person. I would only have sex with someone if I liked her for long term. Though, I wouldn't have sex on the first date either. Well maybe if we had already talked online for quite a while and already liked each other for some time first.

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  • Because your meeting guys that are on the date just for the sex not because they want to get to know you, their just pretending hun. Where are you finding these dates from anyways?

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    • I usually meet them on Tinder, any other online dating site or in person at my college or through a mutual friend.

    • lol well tinder there u go.. ur asking to be fucked and left alone
      Try finding someone in a near a hobby or task you do in everyday life, its most likely going to last

What Girls Said 14

  • Why not try something NEW then? Especially since what you're doing doesn't work out for you. Stop jumping into bed with them so early. Tell them that you're not looking for a hookup. You're interested in a relationship. Tell them you're not trying to rush into a relationship. You want to get to know each other first and see. Have this convo at the right time of course and put it in your own words. But don't believe them right away if they say "Ok. Let's do that" if it's gonna be followed by "So what are u doing tonight?" (And the clock says 2:05 AM) Be smart and be safe. All the best.

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  • If you want a relationship u might want to hold out until 2nd or 3rd date of it works for u they might be more inclined to date u but if not then maybe ur just going with the wrong guys :/ I'm sure ur amazing they don't know what they're missing out on 馃槃

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  • You easily gave him the only thing he did was looking for. So why would he stay any longer?

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  • What makes you want to have sex with them on the first date?

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  • Because hook ups are just hook ups.

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  • Bc that's all they wanted. Good thing you find out right away instead wasting months on them.

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  • They consider you someone to have sex, and a good time with, but they don't think you're long term relationship material. Maybe you're giving a wrong impression by having sex on the first date.

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  • oh god lol

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  • You should never sleep with someone on the first date. It only makes you look easy. At the end of the first date, you've already given him what he wants and it only leaves you wondering why you never hear from him or why he doesn't want to be more than friends.
    He possibly sees you as a fuckbuddy/"booty call"

    Next time you go on a date, show the guy you have respect for your body. Don't sleep with him on the first date. This might sound corny but watch the movie Think Like A Man.
    (:

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  • You've answered your own question there love.

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  • They got what they wanted and they're done

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  • Maybe you have no other desirable characteristics other than your opening your legs. How are they expected to show respect to a girl who doesn't respect herself? You've already given them what most of them want, what would draw them back?

    Harsh but true.

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  • Because guys don't wife a hoe

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  • Cause they only wanted sex and you were willing to give it to them. You should use it as a lesson and not have sex w guys on the first date. You never know if they only wanted sex or they really do want to be in a relationship w you. So next time if your next date ask for sex, dont give it to him, have him wait. Wait long enough to see if he really wants a relationship w u or not.

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    • If she doesn't have sex on the first date and sex is all they want then HOW else Does she find out that's all he wants. Having sex in the first date is the only way she's know immediately that's all he wants.

      A guy can wait for sex if it's all he wants. He'll just fuck other ieople simultaneously behind her back.

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    • its not lending, she wanted sex or she wouldn't have had it, im not suggesting having sex even when yoy dont want to. im saying there no point in waiting hen yo ant it just to find out if he only wants sex when anyone us capable of pretending for however long they want.

      how would waiting prove anything IF he felt like leading her on until he got sex?

    • @AriadneSky ok, thats true that she did wanted it too. Most of the time those kind of guys just get tired of waiting.

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