Should I end it with him?

My friend and I started hooking up casually because we both just got out of really bad relationships and his was a 2 year relationship that ended really badly, so like neither of us were looking for anything serious. His ended a year ago but there was still a lot going on in the following 4 months. We've both been friends for like 2 years now and I helped him through his break up and he had always been there for me so we always had an emotional bond as well. After hooking up we started realizing we cared about each other more than just casually but agreed to not put a label on it because he'd be going abroad for his studies and he said if we put a label on it and it ends in one month it'll be bad because he'd still want to keep in touch, like I understand his hesitation to commit and I'm perfectly alright with where we are, we both talked it out and decided to just take it slow and see where it goes. But now all of a sudden he's started to talk and act differently, like before we'd spend all our time together but now he's always with his friends -we both agreed not to tell anyone about our arrangement because it's a bad idea like everyones friends with his ex it'd be messy- and he said it's because everyone would start getting suspicious but he rarely replies on text now like for days and when he does its really dry but when we meet outside of school where noone else is there he always teases me and acts normal and then I feel like nothings wrong. Once he saw me talking to a lot of guys and I don't know if he was trying to be chill because we were casual or what but I could tell it bothered him. I feel like he might be going through some stuff like he said I need my space sometimes and he's just being very lost and distant with everyone, I've asked him multiple times if somethings wrong or if we should just end it because he seems so disinterested now but he doesn't want to end it. I don't know what to do, I really feel like I care more than I should.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't end it, it sounds as if you need each other. He is going through a lot and his feelings for you are conflicting because he knows he wants you but it's a tricky situation he does not wish to ruin. Plus other things only he worries about.

    Give him time is all. Take it slow.

    • I want to help him if he's going through stuff but he doesn't open up to people but like I know he has family stuff going on and he doesn't share at all with anyone ever so I don't know how to be there for him

Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't contact him for a couple days. Go distract yourself by hanging with other people. Have fun :) then after a couple days ask him if he's feeling any better. If he hasn't improved then say that your arrangement is being poisonous to your happiness and you need to do what's best for you.

    • He's a really sensitive guy like I don't want him to think I don't care like if he feels like I don't care he might start pulling away further and I really don't want that, like I really care for him.

    • Hmm. Well if you really care for him then his drug addiction shouldn't matter much to you

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • 1 of 2 things are going on.

    1) He changed after your little talk right? He's weirded out. He's all up in his head & not sure what to do.

    2) He's back with or trying to get back with his ex. Who cares if she's friends with all his friends? His friends may like you better. If they're his friends shouldn't they want him to be happy no matter who it's with? They're all up in his business & making his life decisions that he can't reply to a text?
    He used to hang with you all the time but now he doesn't. Why? Suddenly he has to meet you when no one else is around, sounds like a typical cheating move.
    He may have stuff going on but if he wants to be with you he should share with you. That's part of caring about a person.
    When you care about someone you should do whatever needs to be done to show that you care, especially if they're unsure of how you feel about them. That includes introducing them to your friends, being seen with them in public & replying to texts or calls in a timely manner. Personally, I'd end it. If he really likes you he'll come around & start acting like he really likes you.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's probably trying to spend more time away from you so that it's an easier adjustment when he leaves.

    • Should I end it then? I tried to before but he didn't want to and I didn't know how to explain my reasons to him. What should I do?

    • It's ending anyway, so do it on good terms or just wait until he's gone.

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