What types of people do you avoid when looking for a partner?

What types of people do you avoid when looking for a partner?In other words, what aren't you looking for in a partner?


Most Helpful Girl

  • - Pessimists/self loathing/defeatists
    - Super shy/extreme introverts/passive types
    - Possessive/mistrusting/insecure
    - EXTREME SJWs/easily offended/special snowflakes
    - Unhealthy/doesn't care about their bodies or appearance AT ALL
    - Unmotivated/non-passionate
    - No sense of humor/anal/uptight

    • danm everything but the snow flakes sjw political stuff describes me lol. But I've already gave up so you wouldn't have to worry about running into a guy as bad as me haha.

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    • Yeah I know girl, you're good. Everyone has their preferences. Like as mean as it might sound I can't date anyone that's dumb and can't hold a conversation with me.
      Some people prefer their lovers being less intelligent.
      You and your preferences are your own, I was more telling him that he shouldn't assume it as a like "quota" to meet to get a woman.

    • @Edymemelord ahhhh okay I see you, I feel you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • In no particular order...

    1. get pissed off if you don't text back within 5 mins
    2. try get petty revenge if u make a tiny mistake
    3. fat
    4. smokes
    5. have to check with others whether friends or family if its ok to go out with you
    6. talk to you for ages saying its cool to meetup but then can't commit, but keep on texting like they're not busy after all
    7. have ex issues and say they can't trust men so won't go out (until they're ready)
    8. complain about guys just trying to fuck them
    9. use you as an option
    10. flirt and make out with you then later say I have a boyfriend
    11. can't stop talking
    12. expect you to drive them around everywhere and buy them food and other stuff all the time, never make effort to see you or appreciate you
    13. generally insecure or think she's top shit
    14. wear too much makeup or never wears makeup and looks like a slob all the time
    15. are socially really dumb can't have a fun conversation with you, can't take a joke etc.

    Probably more but I'll leave it there haha


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 60

  • Self-entitled, disrespectful, arrogant, lazy, boring, someone who smokes/uses drugs/is an alcoholic or just in general gets drunk quite often, cheating behavior, someone who doesn't know how to do things himself even if he lives alone (i. e. cook, clean, wash the dishes, do the laundry), unhygienic, doesn't know how to be creative or spontaneous, spends too much money on useless things, gambling in general, wears awful clothes, is too conservative, is sexist/racist etc, too old for me (anything over like 10 years), insecure, has anger management issues.
    I think that's everything I could figure out off the top of my head.

    • R. I. P 90% of entire male population

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    • @KnightCross I really don't think she was though... she was clearifing what she meant when she said what she said and why she felt it included the stuff you pointed out... not saying YOU personally were guilty of it.

    • @KnightCross I was not referring to you, it was a general "you".

  • -Doesn't take care of himself ( meaning health and hygiene)
    -Awful communicator (I don't mind shy or awkward guys who are otherwise good people, I'm referring to guys who feel the need to be derogatory in order to get a point across or who won't tell me how they feel and then get angry at me because I don't understand them)
    -Uncooperative (I want a guy that I can work with and who will let me support him when necessary, I don't want to feel like my relationship is a never ending rivalry/competition)
    -Willfully ignorant

    • -laziness
      -no sense of humor

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    • Are these boyfriends you are with or potential husbands?

    • @xxAjjxx I'm currently single. But when I get into relationships, I do want something that will last. I don't get into relationships fantasizing about marriage but I do want someone who I can get along with and grow with.

  • - Very unattractive and unhygienic
    - Man whore
    - Racist
    - Uneducated
    - Stupid
    - Not a refined thinker
    - Smokes
    - Drinks alcohol

  • It's more what kind of behaviour makes me not wanting a second date than really tying a trait to it.
    - I don't like guys who constantly talk about themselves and don't listen to me. It's not like he's not allowed to say anything, but if he just talks and talks and I'm not able to say anything and just listen then I'm just sitting there like "why am I still here?". (out of experience)
    - Guys who try to talk really tough. As in "I went out the other night and it was so crazy and drank way too much" bla bla. Overall just don't talk about your stories you have about going out. It's not all that interesting. (I had a guy once who kept talking about it like he was so popular. I just went sitting somewhere else)
    - Smokers. enough said. It's disgusting.
    - Not taking initiative. If he never comes up with a plan to do something other than just chil, l I'm not the right girl. I like to chill, but not all the time. I'm quite active and like to do things with a guy. (Actually know a lot of girls who broke up with their boyfriend because of this. It's a real thing)
    - Any kind of extreme emotionally instability. I can definetly handle insecurities, but if a guy is really depressed, then it's a no go. I've been there with a friend once who wasn't depressed, but just very instable. He ended up becoming controlling, manipulative and lying (wasn't even his girlfriend) So I had to cut all ties for my own sake.
    - No empathy or repect for others or other people's beliefs. I think it's not okay to call all the voters of a political party retards or something. I like open-minded people who can see things from different perspectives.
    - Bitter, blames all his problems on everything but himself
    - doesn't care about my feelings or boundaries

    I can actually make a whole book of this including examples, but I don't have enough words. Most are pretty straight-forward and they sound very demanding, but they're actually pretty easy to avoid.

    • "Not taking initiative. If he never comes up with a plan to do something other than just chil, l I'm not the right girl. I like to chill, but not all the time. I'm quite active and like to do things with a guy"

      Can you expand on this? Like what kind of things?

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    • I think a lot of guys are afraid to tell their girl he's broke. It's like... I don't know like they're afraid she'll think badly of him something. Maybe he has a girlfriend because he can't find a fuck buddy if he only wants sex so a girlfriend is easier for him. I can agree that some guys don't want to get their plans rejected.

    • @Highpower I'm talking by the way about these dates as in going Dutch. Here it's normal to pay for yourself instead of the guy paying for the date and I think most guys have that €2 for ice cream or so.
      I don't think it's very polite to get a girlfriend and then treat her like a fuck buddy. I hope I'll never be in that situation.

  • Manipulative

    A guy who is arrogant with no humility

    If he talks down to others , or looks down on people less fortunate than himself.

    • nice... u know what u are talking about and u sound to have some experience... u are the only girl here which the first trait u remember was "manipulative"... the majority of girls here seem to have a really bad filter

    • @KnightCross

      Yeah I've come across some of the most highly manipulative of people. It's a trait I despise and avoid at all costs

  • People who put other people down

  • People who get off on other people's misery

    Dislikes affection and only do it to get sex or keep the relationship

    Dishonesty. Literally not just in some situations.

    Uncomfortable with their feelings or mine and unable to express.

    Dislike serious discussions and analysts about works issues and personal issues. Has an issue with " thinking"

    Does not respect boundaries including privacy.

    Can not distinguish between their thoughts feelings and mine-- projection.

    Inactive. Doesn't like physical activities.





    Impulsive / presumptuous

    Doesn't ask or answer questions

    Indirect / can't handle my being direct

    Doesn't like to explore the world

    Lacks curiosity

  • A guy who is without gentleness, a guy who lacks confidence, a guy who lacks humility, a guy who is dishonest, a guy who is cheap or stingy or petty or gets upset over small problems, a guy unwilling to sacrifice anything in a relationship, a guy who is obese or extremely fat, a guy with a decorated sexual history, a guy who judges FRIENDS by their appearance, a guy who doesn't believe in God, a guy who tells fart jokes, a guy who gets angry when you haven't done anything wrong

    • If that isn't a goddamn laundry list.

      Have fun dying alone, cat lady. Lmao

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    • @Goethe I dated a millionaire, a phd student, a medical student and a finance ceo

    • lmao, sure, I know that feel. I dated Scarlet Johannson once, it was pretty cool

      I've leave you to your denial, then. Take care.

  • 1. someone who makes fun of my family and friends
    2. someone who seems to be using me and not care about my feelings
    3. someone who seems to not take care of themselves
    4. someone who seems untrustworthy
    5. a person who slept around way too much
    6. someone who makes fun of my religion or my political beliefs
    7. someone who is way too short for me (I am only 5'3 so no one under 5 feet)
    8. someone who likes to have fun with me (I like taking hikes and canoeing so I won't want to be with someone who hates those things)
    9. has zero ambition and seems dependent on their parents
    10. someone who has no morals.

  • After breaking up with long term ex, I dated for most of last year and learned a lot.
    My own personal preferences and criteria:
    Must be taller than me or same height
    I must find them attractive.
    Must be ambitious and know what they want
    Have good morals and values.
    Must live fairly local.
    Must have their shit together
    No kids (I don't have any and don't intend too)
    Be close to their family and have good friends
    Must be on the same page.
    Must have a sense of humour and not take themselves too seriously.
    No heavy baggage
    Sexual compatibility.
    Dresses well.
    Courteous and respectful to others
    Doesn't go on drinking benders every weekend
    Doesn't do drugs
    Not insecure.
    Not obsessed with the gym and exercise.
    Doesn't lead you on and take you for granted when you show interest back.
    No hardcore marvel/DC fans (my ex was a huge geek in that area and after six years of graphic novels filling up most of our apartment, and having no choice but to see those films at the cinema, It's bored me senseless)

    • that's funny! such a long list but u forget to include some crucial things like "manipulative personality" and instead include stupidities like "Sexual compatibility" which is the biggest bullshit ever invented in the recent days

  • Needy and high maintenance!

  • someone thats overly clingy, wants me to change my style for them, very aggressive and rude.. I avoid dating men like this

  • When he walks a mile ahead of me and doesn't open the door for me.


    • but girls like to be independent right? they speak about equality, do girls do it for guys?

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    • you seem to a my type girl 😂 girls these days don't like chivalrous guys. 😉😍

    • Nobody has to be obligated to do jack shit for you. Open the damn door yourself. y'all always screaming "independent", well be independent by yourself.

  • Closeminded
    Animal abusive

  • Smokers
    Drug users
    People with bad tempers
    People with drinking problems
    People who are disrespectful to my family

  • - Drug users
    - Alcoholics
    - Smokers
    - Known cheaters
    - Guys who sleep around or who are just all around players
    - Lazy / unemployed because he's lazy
    - Can't string a sentence together or carry on a somewhat intelligent conversation

  • LIARS & self polishing halo types

  • Negative people, know it alls, and clingy

  • Only cares about themselves, doesn't put any effort in the relationship in general, doesn't care about their appearance at all, mean spirited, and doesn't have a sense of humor

  • I avoid
    - men with children
    - illegal substance users
    - alcoholics
    - cheater
    - too healthy (i want to enjoy yummy desserts and ice cream with you not counting calories or carbs!)
    - gambler
    - Many close friends with girls (i get jealous easily)
    - Arrogance
    - violent
    - no goals/motivation
    - lazy
    - cruel to animals

  • Them being gay. That'd be unfortunate.
    But literally I can't have them being like stupid or a bum.

  • Who can't control their anger, complain a lot, likes to blame others often for any partucular reason, over romantic and sweet, too talkative and energetic.

  • Someone who doesn't respect me, passive and insecure guys without attitude, atheists (just because I'm a christian) and guys without culture who can't keep a interesting conversation.

    • * Drug and alcohol addicts too

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    • @Aj8837 when I say attitude I mean guys who are not insecure to ask a girl out, initiate conversations, say what he feels about her etc

    • Ok i see

  • racist, ignorant, lazy, bad hygiene, arrogant, controlling, manipulative, abusive, over possesive, pessimist, alcoholic, drugs user, liar, narcissist, boring, playboy, disrespectful. Such a long list lol

    • i upvoted because u are the only girl here sho cited "controlling, manipulative, abusive" since they are traits which are much more dangerous for women... i'm yet to see another girl to remember such a fundamental filter like that

    • one of my exes was all those 3. As soon as I saw those signs I broke it off right away

  • I stay away with guys with crazy or dead eyes... usually speaks very loudly of their personalities... none of which I found attractive in the least. I also am very picky about posture (which also speaks a lot about the person)... body language is sooooo important!

    • What are dead eyes?

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    • @xxAjjxx lol... I am not a texter either. I'm pretty phone-a-phobic.. I use it and carry it as little as humanly possible -lol.

    • Hence why I don't even have pictures on there... whenever I think to take one that's when I don't even have it with me. I've never taken a selfie and the only pictures of me on facebook are ones I am tagged in... I'm so bad.

      Sorry I didn't have a picture to show you... I think it's pretty easy to see but it is far easier to see in person for sure. I wouldn't even worry about it though.

  • - Conservative / Religious
    - Unhygienic
    - Fat


    • and what about spiritual?

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    • @samcool092 also, I didn't mention moral values.. I said conservatives & religious people, none of them got monopoly on moral values.

    • @bbmonarch that's the thing I want to say. being spiritual doesn't bind you to a religion but definitely provides a right path in life.

  • clingy ones

    • Could you explain this? :)

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    • @Sjeggy yeah I prefer having some space to miss

    • well to each their own :)
      i really like spending time with my girl a lot

  • flirty/immature/commitment-phobe

  • Huge ego, extremely conservative, racist, homophobic, rude, hates children and indecisiveness are definitely deal breakers for me.

  • Guys who lack ambition mostly. Smokers or alcoholics, disrespectful/douche bag. Shorter than me by a lot, super skinny.

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What Guys Said 73

  • Whores.
    No plans for the future.
    Not wanting to get married/have kids.
    Someone who's not proud of herself.
    Addicted to certain substances (drugs, alcohol, weed, tobacco...)
    Man hater.

    • Many if not most people are not proud of themselves. Most women are insecure by definition, or depending on hormonal levels.
      Dunno if I agree that those are actually good things (i. e. someone who's proud of him/ herself all the time), but good filter there.

    • @dipta True. But I didn't mean it in a literal sense, like if you have one insecurity I wouldn't date you, I know everyone has some, I do too, but you can have some insecurities and not be an insecure person.

  • I avoid women who complain in restaurants about little things that can be overlooked. Other rudeness in public is a turn-off. Also, not being able to get over fairly simple mis-understandings. Shy women are fine, but women who are just plain "weird" socially I tend to avoid. Weird body language and facial expressions while you are talking to them, etc.

  • For me, I try to avoid being too unrealistic because then you will never find anyone. Too many times are girls looking for the 6'3" Doctor/lawyer/model who plays guitar and volunteers at animal shelters on the weekends. And too many times are men looking for that 5'4" 34DD-20-38 woman who gives bomb head, DTF 24/7, no kids, cooks and cleans, gym membership, is naturally beautiful, no cosmetic surgery and has her own career.
    So the deal breakers are:
    -Current substance abuse problems, because addicts love their addiction more than they love anyone else and even then they'd need to be sober for a while.
    -Unemployed. I don't mind supporting her or a family but I don't want my purpose in life to be her ATM while I work myself to death
    -More than two kids, I like kids but having multiple baby dads is not fun to deal with. It is rare that the relationship just didn't work out and the guy is stable. Usually the baby dad sucks on every account and seeing a man better than him makes him wanna quit crack, try to get her back and use the kid against you. Also kids tend to not like the new boyfriend anyways
    -Fat or obese, I'm probably one of the few men who can tell the difference between a girl that is thin and unhealthy thin, a girl that is big and girl that can eat you out of house and home. I work out 5-6 days a week, some of those days are dedicated to brazilian jiu jitsu and boxing so how can I be with someone so huge?
    -Mentally ill, I only say that because the mental health system is in shambles in this country and so many people are walking the streets without professional help and dealing with someone like that in a romantic situation sucks
    Things I do look for!
    -Pretty, I value looks
    -In some kind of shape, doesn't have to be a fitness model either
    -has a job or higher education

  • -Smokers,
    -Substance abuse,
    -Sluts/girls involved in casual sex or one-night stands
    -Girls who can't hold a decent conversation for long
    -Attention-seekers (whether seeking attention online or in real life)
    -A girl who always havs to be politically correct
    -High maintenance

  • - doesn't know what she likes and wants.
    - no direction/goals in life
    - no passion for things
    - unhealthy/lazy lifestyle
    - insecurity
    - unfaithfulness
    - lack of conversational skills/intelligence
    - overly close to her parents
    - no sense of humor

  • No smoking
    be loyal
    not keeping things to themselves
    not over confident
    not bullies
    not a guy
    fair skinned -i just like them to be fair skinned-
    not cheaters
    no drugs
    no over drinking such as at parties
    still a bit kinky
    but most important
    not the type of girl to show off with who is super sexy -even though thatll be nice- but the type of girl who wgen i am sick will go and pick or buy stuff and come home and make it and give me to eat, the type of girl who will love me if i was homeless, the type of girl who would agree to stay with me in an old galvanize shack and she will make that galvanize shack like a home, the type that i can count on for support if im sad, the type that won't leave like my mom did, the type of girl who would support me whether right or wrong because at the end of the day i can hold her in my arms and say "you are mine" and we will both be okay, the girl to take care of my kids, not abandon them, not hurt them, she will walk 10 miles to get medication if i am ill, thats the type of girl i want.

  • well basically
    men hating
    double standards (i can hit a man cos iam a woman !)
    princess syndrome
    rude, gold digger, bisexual, boring, no ambition, arrogant, lazy, fat, ugly, attention whore, playing mind games, cheating hoe, unable to admits her mistakes or to take any responsibility for her actions, manly, feminist...

  • Someone who is selfish and cannot care about others: I like girl who are naturally good-hearted and kind, it's not a value to be precious and believe you are superior to anyone else.
    Also the kind of girls who plays the dude. What I mean is I don't mind women being outspoken, but what's not valuable is spending time with a girl who is always yelling out and telling you what to do. This has nothing to do with her being a victim, but I just don't like girls who just catch guys and lead his life like it happens all the time. I'm sorry but for myself girls who are not "ladies" and are just brutally honnest is not an attractive feature. Which get's me to my last point.
    I HATE... Really HATE, girls who swear a lot. And I'm not talking about girls who let out an "OH sh**" once in a while, that's rather cute:) But I really despise women who just cus all the dams time it's not attractive. Sorry if this sounds offensive, bu I do have conservative Ideals sooo.. hopes this helps good question.

  • - Non-feminine women
    - self-identified super open minded women
    - narcissts
    - victimhood mentality
    - promiscuous women
    - career women
    - smokers
    - self-entitled
    - manipulative
    - critic-resistant

  • girls who expect you to do 99.9% of the talking am not a monkey it's not my job to entrain you. cheaters yes that includes the following below entraining guys who flirt with you.. even if you don't flirt back it's still cheating to me. girl's who won't let you follow your dream then say you don't wanna do anything with your life support me or being a ex that simple. fuck girls, gold diggers, princess, girl's who clearly just wanna be a stay at home mom... sorry follow your dreams n if your dream is too be a stay at home mom... sorry your not for me

  • A girl who has become in a hurry to find someone to marry. They seem like they are out to find a marriage and not focused on waiting for the natural love that precedes engagements and weddings. These girls are also pressured by their biological clocks and want to rush into having a baby too. It's just too complicated when these girls are trying to force their agendas.

  • If I catch the slightest indication that she is in any way promiscuous in nature, I will drop her faster than a scalding potato.

  • I don't avoid, but I rather I look for what I like.


  • Druggies
    Hooker like behavior (paid or not, i. e. HAs sex with any one)
    Self abuses
    Wants jewelry all the time
    Wants to be treated like daddies little princess
    Can't commit
    No sense of humor whatsoever
    A jerk

  • I usually avoid girls who have rich sexual experience and look like prostitutes. Also I try not communicate with girls who use obscene words and have low emotional intelligence. Also I can be friends but I don't want to date with a girl who has a low intellect.

  • Addicts, sociopaths, anyone who has or had a penis at some point in their life, whiny helpless types, vicious mean sorts, stupid people.

  • Sociopathic, manipulative, on the rebound, no ambition, super religious , super distant

    Those are some big ones

  • Drinks
    Does drugs
    Has tattoos
    Has peircings

  • a girl who is:
    - not feminine, but a feminist
    - anti-christian, but a moral relativist (atheist with a "good heart" it's ok)
    - anti-catholic
    - manipulative

    • i said anti-catholic because there are protestant christian girls who are anti-catholic brainwashed by their prick pastors

  • Defeatism, depression, heavy drinking, smoking, doing drugs, fanaticism, globalist, futurist, "nobody illegal type of shit", too much into pop culture, too materialistic

  • People who smoke are automatically a no-go, but typically just seeing if they use makeup or not (preferably not) is already a pretty good heuristic.

  • Not pretty, rude, racist, misandrist, only cares about personality, wears only dresses and skirts. These are all turn offs.

    • Not pretty 😂😂😂😂

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    • oh shit sorry haha and yeah i think no matter the age of a girl she will always want the option of being able to wear a skirt or a dress

    • OK let's see. will try that after sometime.

  • Manipulating, controlling, dishonest. Not interested in that mess

  • SJW, avid feminst/feminazi (same thing), arrogant... the type that posts selfies every day onto Instagram for attention and shit like that.

  • someone more then 20 miles from my home
    someone with no job

  • im not looking for someone i can't grow with as a person

  • The princess type who think too highly of themselves.

  • Narcissists
    extremely insecure
    no sense of humor
    close minded, racist, sexist, etc.

  • Someone if you stick a piece of coal up their ass you'll end up with a diamond a few hours later.

  • Lack of maturity

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