After he knows my diagnosis of herpes now what?

I've been dating this guy for 7 months. He is great! I fell hard for him since I came out of a bad marriage full of cheating and abuse. I went to the doctor and he did blood work and came out positive for herpes 2. I never had a breakout on my life. Doctor kept telling me to calm down that I have nothing worry about on Thursday I tell him the horrible news and he took it very surprised and he was worry asking a lot of questions we spent an hour on the phone he was telling me about other things he has going on in his life. After that conversation he has not text me or call me I tried to call him twice and doesn't answer me. We have a great chemistry I just don't want to leave things like I want him to tell me he doesn't want to be with me anymore because of my héroe.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry to here this happened to you.. I just recently met a woman online that revealed to me she had HSV.. We had not been intimate, but it was heading that direction.. It took me a second to possess the news, and I spent days researching HSV.. The Emotional and Social stigma of the virus is the worst part.. If this man can't look past a reoccurring skin condition (which this basically is) then he was not the one for you.. I think now is a time to worry less about him, and more about taking care of yourself.. I wish you all the best..

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    • Thank you very much, I am taking care of myself. Working out and healthy eating!

    • Good for you, as a follow up to the above, even though this woman and I did not persue the relationship (Her choice as she did want to put me at any risk), We are still food friends and talk everyday. She has told me that since, I was so understanding, that it ed her out of her isolation and she has even begun a new romantic relationship with a man that is also HSV+.. It just goes to show that a healthy understanding and maturity about HSV, is the best medicine.. Still wish you all the best.. take care

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe it would be better to tell him news like these face to face, every time something weird happens i always decide to tell my man when i meet him in person, because you can see his reactions directly and he will be able to feel your pain directly, a lot of things said through phone can be misinterpreted.

    I really hope he is just taking a time off to think about this situation, leave him one last message and tell him how you feel about him not responding, try to be direct.

    I wish you all the best <3

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Fuck man, damn near everyone has type 1 in the mouth which can turn into type 2 if you nom on the fun bits at all.

    I can't believe I don't have it yet. Way I see it, it's just a matter of time.

    cdn.meme.am/.../17647025.jpg

    Long as you didn't knowingly infect him. That's actually a crime I think.

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  • it was probably just shocking to him he needs to understand how common it is and if u use protection correctly he won't contract it. I actually had a urologist tell me once that most of the population has it but most people don't show symptoms, its really not a big deal just don't have sex during an outbreak.

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    • My doctor told me the same thing! He's like so many people have it and don't know it. I never had an outbreak my doctor told me to not worry about it. We haven't been using condoms at all.

    • u could bring him to ur doctor and have him explain it, there's way to much shaming going on. I heard they're actually trying to reclassify it as more of a skin condition vs an std

    • Oh thank you. I'm so hurt. I cared about him so much and he just disappear!

  • Maybe he gave it to you?

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    • I'm not sure. He said he never got an outbreak or anything like that.

  • I have type 1 like many other people and get cold sores on my mouth every once in a while but I just take acyclovir and they go away in a day or 2. Obviously type 2 is a little different but I think like other people said he needs some time to process it. Give him a little time and if he's willing to listen talk with him about it and explain the risk. Worst case scenario he'd end up getting it too and have to take meds. But I'm guessing if you've already been dating 7 months he probably already has it. My ex girlfriend would kiss me and stuff when I had sores on my mouth and never acted concerned about it so maybe it's a bigger deal for some and not for others

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    • My point is that if the roles were different and he was the one telling me he found out he has herpes I would support him in this difficult time. I wouldn't just disappear

What Girls Said 7

  • It's so awful that you caught it from someone you trusted in your past relationship. I can't understand why anyone would put their own health at risk let alone their partners. If they want to take risks then that's their perogotive , but it's abhorrent when someone puts another persons health at risk too.

    You did the right thing by telling him, and although it's not your fault , he may now be concerned he'll catch herpes from you or something far worse , or he may fear he already has , considering you've been together for 7 months. That would be understandable. Just give him space.

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    • The crazy thing is that when I told him he was kind of okay, he even told me to go to the Doctor to see options for me and him. and now he just doesn't answer.

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    • Yes, I think it is very unfair, he should call me and tell me straight up because just leaving things like this doesn't help.

    • I agree! I hope it all works out for you. It's mean if he just ignores you ❤

  • It's just herpes (a Sexually Transmitted Disease/Infection) STD, it clears up in a few weeks if not sooner, so you picked it up from someone, and if the new guy is the only guy you've been with since you husband, then you got herpes from him, that's probably why he hasn't called.

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    • It's not easy to know from whom I got it from since this was my first blood work and I never got an outbreak

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    • YeAh

    • Then you could only have caught it from your husband or the new guy. If the new guy isn't calling it's because he knows he gave it to you, or he doesn't want to date someone who has it, either way, you just have to accept he doesn't want to respond and move on.

  • If he doesn't get back to you he's not worth it chemistry or not. I love what these other guys said here. You do you honey, be the strong woman that you are inside and you don't need a man to stand on your own two feet. He may need some time to figure things out but you don't need him if he can't handle it.

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    • I am very sad because I went though a lot with my husband and he knows it. He knows everything that happened to me and he just going to not talk to me.

  • They have dating sites for people with herpes - right now your chances of dating an uninfected person are very low but you can date somebody who already has it.

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    • some people have it and dont even know it. at least I told him.

  • I am very sorry you are going through something like this. Youve done everything you can to get in touch with him.. give it a week and if nothing. . i guess let it go

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    • I did, called him the passed few days text him and nothing.

  • I would try and meet him somewhere. If he doesn't answer or refuses to meet you, you tell him that your done with him. That its not fair for him to treat you the way he did after you shared important info with him.

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    • I tried calling him the passed days and he just not answering me.

  • text him and ask him to be honest and upfront with you. Tell him you have noticed him become distant and ask him what's wrong? ask him that you just want the truth and that you don't want to leave things open ended.

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    • I tried texting him and nothing

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    • another person wouldn't say anything ! I told him because I cared about him

    • Of course but by what his actions are telling you, he doesn't seem serious about you

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