I am very confused. What does this guy want with me?

There's this guy that I started talking to from Tinder (yes I know what most of the guys' motives are on there) last month. We've texted almost every day & if we dont text he apologizes & says why he didn't text me (usually busy, doing homework, or thought he responded). We try to text all day (one of us is usually busy) & always falls asleep texting each other. Over winter break, he asked me to hang out with him almost every day, whether it was getting ice cream or going to his place but I was never able to. Since school started, its been harder for us to text because he works two jobs (one is full-time), in part-time school, & teaches a class.

We werent able to find time to hang out until a few days ago. I went over & we watched a movie in his room bc his roommate was asleep & he didn't want to wake him up. We ended up talking throughout most of the movie until we had sex. We cuddled & hung out for a bit after, he said he didn't want to kick me out. However I noticed that he was texting this girl from tinder (Idc if he talks to other girls, just don't in front of me). She also snapchatted him but he wouldn't open it. It was getting late so I left since he had to get up early. He walked me to the door & he hugged but didn't kiss me bye. He texted me the next day asking how my day was going. Then last night, I went over to his place again & played video games for a few hours until we watched some Hulu. We had sex but didn't cuddle afterwards. We hung out for a bit until the show ended bc he needed to wake up in a few hours. I left, & he hugged but didn't kiss me bye again & said "Talk to you later". Oh & he was also texting that girl again though not as consistently.

Today he hasn't texted me like he usually does, even though we sometimes go a day or two without talking. I'm fine with whatever motives he has with me but I just want to know what is going on. What could be going on?

Oh & he also hasn't once asked for nudes or talked about sex even before hanging out
Also I couldn't fit in this detail but I knew the girl was from tinder because she had flame emojis next to her name. However I noticed that all of the tinder girls in his inbox (sorry I was laying down right next to him) had a different number of flame emojis next to their names. The girl he was texting had two, another girl had one, and I had zero. Why could this be?


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What Guys Said 1

  • If I had to guess I'd say he sees you as a friend with benefits.


What Girls Said 1

  • You haven't established you're dating, so you're hooking up, that's the arrangement he was clearly looking for and that's how it's evolved. If you want a more defined relationship, you should probably tell him that instead of continuing to sleep with him or assuming it will become a relationship.

    • Yeah I honestly had a feeling it might be something like that. I guess I just thought it might have been different because he never talked about sex or nudes like other tinder guys would and he also never really went in straight for the sex. I'll have to talk about it with him.

    • You do need to talk about it with him, everything is about communication, and if you don't express what you want or your expectations, or ask him about his, how can you two ever understand what is happening between you? It's far better to talk too much than to not say what you need to and be left ignorant.

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