There's this guy that me and my friend like. Problem is she doesn't know I like him. I've known him longer than she has and they met through me. I don't feel comfortable announcing my crushes to anyone I know because the people I hang out with aren't the best at keeping secrets. But my friend announced last year she really liked this guy, of course I was crushed but I didn't say anything. My friend is known for getting really jealous of people who have the same crushes as her. My group of friends, know about my friend liking this guy and are making it their goal to hook them up. This guy and I talk all the time as we're good friends and he just said he'd like to hang out more (just me and him) cause he likes me and wants to see where this can go. I've always liked taking things slow in relationships, and the fact he does to is amazing. In the moment I told him I'd love for us to go on little "dates" but later I realized what I had just done. Should I cancel on him and tell him I don't like him, tell him it won't work out, tell him my friend likes him so it can't work? Should I tell any of my friends?
Most Helpful Girl
No, but you should realize what you want. I understand that if you broadcast that you like him, then everyone would think that you are trying to steal him away from her, but you should realize that if you know you will be happy with him, then do it. You should talk to your friend and tell them straight on that you have been in love with this person for a long time before her and that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you also don't want to lie to yourself. Yes, it may hurt, but you have been with this guy longest, thus you will hurt a lot more than she would. And also, a good friend will be willing to understand than become jealous and take it out on their own friend. Yes it isn't fair, but so is love as whoever gets hurt is left with a scar that takes awhile to heal, depending on your connection with that person. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but listen to me, talk to your friend about your crush and/or talk to the guy you both like and ask him how he feels about the both of you and tell him the situation so it doesn't blow up on him as well.
One way to settle it is to allow him to choose. Let him go on a date with you and a date with her and let him choose. He may not give an answer, but tell him that this is bothering you and that you don't want to fight your friend and lose him as well. Of course doing this will stress him out, but save you the trouble.
Another is to tell your friends how you feel. You can even bring authority into this if you don't feel comfortable and that you might be verbally attacked. Depending on your age, your friends may feel strongly about this, but you need to allow yourself to know what you want. At the end of the day, its your the decisions that make you. You can allow your friend to be with him, but secretly hide your feelings and may not get over them together, or you can tell her how you feel straight out. If you tell her, don't hold back or sweet talk it to her, tell her the truth and everything you feel about this situation and your friend. That way nothing will be used against you and that you will feel better that you are open. Tell her why you hid it for so long and that you don't want to fight, but you also don't want to get hurt as well.
It would be best to talk to someone older and more experience for advice as I don't know your friendships, but talk to a parent or counselor and ask them what to do. Just getting this off your chest will allow you to think clearer. Hope this helps1