Are most relationships between a man and women started by the man approaching the woman?

I've never been in a relationship or had a girlfriend up to this point. I wonder if a big factor is that I don't approach women. I hear through friends that a girl may say I'm cute, or get a flirtatious vibe from a female. But I'm kinda a shy guy and don't really make a first move in talking. I think I screwed my love life up this age.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Most of them? Yes. That tends to be how it is. Now... MY relationship started with me asking his mom (yes, I did that lmao) if I could ask him to homecoming in HS. And then I drove, I picked him up, I paid for dinner/tickets, and I walked him to his door afterwards. And we're getting married next summer so... success, I think.

    He was the one who actually asked to make it official, but he asked on that date that I had asked him on. So... he started the relationship but I asked him out first. So... joint effort?

    But yeah, mostly the guy does the approaching.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Glad you said "most"... yea, thats the way it works... you gotta say something. I mean, unless you are very good at the relationship game, then you can MAKE her approach you. But im guessing you aren't.
    You haven't been in a relationship because you haven't tried... and if you try, you may fail, but you gotta try again (with someone else).
    so yea, Most relationships are started with the man approaching. Women can approach but their fear of rejection is ridiculous... like guys aren't scared of rejection... ugh

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What Girls Said 11

  • I think approaching women is key.

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  • It really depends on the girl. I went out with a guy last Monday (not a date) whom I always talk to at the gym and he told me he was usually shy but he's totally different when he talks to me. He said he was thankful for me chatting him up because he warms up to somebody as soon as he knows them but getting to known to somebody is the difficulty.

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  • Traditionally, yes. But now that we have gender equality, women should do more asking.

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  • that is probably the biggest factor which has kept you single. If you want something in life, yuo need to go out and get it.

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  • I approached my fiancĂ© first, but normally it's the guy who approaches the women first

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  • From what I've seen, yes. I don't know any friends of mine who have approached their guys. I definitely don't go after men.

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  • You're never too old to fall in love. You just have to start jumping in. Prepare to get hurt, but also prepare to fall in love. Just go for it. The shyness will subside.

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  • Not always, I messaged the guy I liked. That's what I've actually done in the past too but it worked sometimes. Both people have to be attracted to each other to make it work.

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  • Yes. Most women prefer to be asked out.

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  • yeah most starts like that

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  • I think so, buddy...

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What Guys Said 14

  • I'd imagine that to be true, but I don't have any hard facts or statistics to back that up lol. I don't know how you could. I just know that in our culture today it is predominantly the case that the man approaches the woman and because of that it is predominantly the man that initiates things in general.

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  • Well you are way too old to be in a such situation, but the good thing is you know whats the problem so you can fix it now. Yes, you need to approach girls. Its like complaining how you never catch a fish, and you never even went fishing. The chances if a girl approaching you are minimal. However the funny thing is, when you start going out and approaching girls, even that will change, and then sometimes even girls will approach you. Its some weird law of nature. Either way, sitting on your ass and not approaching girls will never result in you finding a girl. So get up, and start doing it!

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  • Yeah it's true, guys typically make the first move but, it isn't unheard of that girls do as well. Just because you haven't had the luck yet, doesn't mean you won't. You have loads of time to practice, it's not a race. Keep your head up and have some fun with it, 2 min of awkward small talk could lead to some great things. Good Luck!

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  • Most people don't want to have to risk getting rejected. If you're ever in a business with very friendly personel you may feel a sortof superiority to them because they have to look to your needs and maybe go over to you and ask you what you want.
    It's the same with girls, there will always be men who walk up to them, and even if they are ugly, stupid and smell of sweat it's better than risking feeling stupid over confessing to someone and get rejected.

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  • Yes, women aren't mind readers and rejection is much worse for them and they have more to lose, you need to approach them.

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  • no they go the same restaurant on purpose then the waiter or waitress if he or she is nice enough will introduce the two to each other.

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  • Most, yes.

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  • Guys usually make the first move.

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  • I've approached numerous women and have had no success at all either.

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  • I do not believe that. I have two girlfriends and in both scenarios they have approached me.

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  • You are not going to score by keeping the bench warm.

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  • Ya I've always had resentment towards that gender role or social-norm

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  • I've never made a move on a girl.. they usually come to me if they are interested and some give hints and then you approach them

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  • I have to say I am the exactly same person. And I ask me the same question before though. But women don't like to do the first move... You can do it

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