PLEASE HELP!!! My mom is telling me to stay away from the girl I can finally have should I listen or follow my heart (read details first)?

Okay so FINALLY the girl I really really liked dumped her boyfriend (this time it's true because she told me wilst flirting with with me) anyway on that same day one of her friends saw her talking to me and flat out said she thought I was cute and later on at practice started flirting with me (really like after all this time!!) Anyway I told my mom and she thinks I should talk to the other girl (the second one) and stay away from my crush because she remembers how I would always come home upset after she hurt me. She thinks she's toxic (which she kinda is but I don't think it's THAT bad) so should I follow my heart or listen to my mom?

  • listen to mom (mother knows best
    90%(18)78%(25)Vote58%(7)
  • follow your heart!! you've waited this long
    10%(2)22%(7)Vote42%(5)
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Most Helpful Girl

  • moms are always right

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well. is it just your mom or your ftiends too?

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    • I had a teacher I'm close with tell me she sounds like a bad idea but that was when she had a boyfriend

    • well id consult the teacher about the new situation. my mother doesn't like my current girlfriend but every one else does. so if every one is saying something then think twice , otherwise its just your mother being jellous. yes im serious thats how mine is too.

    • I will thanks

What Girls Said 8

  • Honestly, BOTH YOUR MOM AND YOUR HEART ARE WRONG, why would you date somebody that made you suffer, are you sure she won't continue to make you suffer... i would actually distance myself from her and observe her before you take further steps.

    YOUR MOM? HOW OLD ARE YOU? If you are 13 -14 i would understand, but i you are older i'm sure you can handle and take your own decision, tell her that you HAVE TO LEARN from your OWN mistakes, mommy won't always be there to protect you.

    Speaking the truth

    Good luck <3

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  • I would usually say follow your heart, but if she is toxic to you as a friend, then think of what she will be like as a girlfriend. You may think its nothing bad, but if it truly was nothing then why did you come home upset? Think about that and realize that you want what is best for you mentally as well. Sure she may seem a good fit for you, but if she hurts you keep away as she may hurt you more. I won't tell you that you shouldn't go for her, if you want do so, but listen to your mother and think about it. Talk to her about her decision and she should help you understand and know what is best for you. Many times people's emotions cloud judgement, so get outside help as logic can be a lifesaver in relationships (believe me, its helped a lot of people) Hope this helps :)

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  • Do you even like the second girl? If not, then don't bother with her. No point in leading someone on. As for the first girl, if she has hurt you in the past quite a lot then I have to agree with your mom. That sort of behavior doesn't end with the snap of a finger. If the two of you became a couple you could expect her to keep treating you badly anyway.

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  • If you don't do this you will regret it, but your mom is probably right. The older you get, the more you find out your mom was right. But in this case she can't always protect you.
    You could try and see what happends. Just hold on to your boundaries and don't do anything stupid.
    Maybe everything will turn out okay. You never know.

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  • Mom will probably be right, but you need to find out for yourself. Follow your heart/love/lust at first and hope that if it doesn't work then you can get with mom's plan.

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  • How exactly would she hurt you?

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  • Sorry dude, I don't know the situation but if she hurt you and you were upset then thats not a good sign

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  • Your moms probably just watching your back.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I'm on your mom's side on this. Not because she's your mom, but from what you said my "guess" is that she's right.

    There is no way to know, but just playing the odds I'd guess the second girl is a much better bet. I suspect there is no future with the first girl. I suspect you are a typical person your age who gets a crush on someone and "follows their heart" after something that never happens, at the exclusion of missing out on all the dozens of other girls who may have an interest.

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  • The first girl will treat you like shit.

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  • I'd say if you're going to get hurt, then get hurt anyway. You're still 17. Plenty of room to explore. Better earlier than later.

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  • You can probably be a rebound and you'll get hurt

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    • But I'm afraid I'll miss my opportunity to be with the girl I really like

    • I mean go for it but always have in mind not to get too attached

  • Follow your heart, you are young and if it doesn't work out you will gain experience and learn a lesson from it.

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  • even though i don't want to, you should listen to your mom this case. it has some benefits.

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  • Well, your pollsters have a clue.
    Dood, you're way too young for all this drama.

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  • What thing your mom complains about her?

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  • Your heart will make the right choice.

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