Why does online dating suck so bad?

I've tried the online dating thing periodically from time to time. To me it just seems like it goes nowhere. When you message someone 99 times out of 100 they dont respond. When you do talk to someone they really dont sound too enthusiastic to talk even if they have on their profile feel free to message me. Most of the time the peole dont even live nearby they live like 50 miles away. Do you think I might be better off enjoying the single life or trying it the old fashioned way?

Updates:
This has nothing to do with GAG its another site im using called OKCupid

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Online dating sucks because it's literally online people shopping, and everyone's ego inflates and they assume they're way better than average folks for some reason. Lol.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Many people want to look at sites like OKCupid or POF and they are forced to create a profile before they can browse. That profile remains on the site to create the illusion that the site has hundreds of thousands of users when it does not. Some users will not pay for a subscription so they can see messages but cannot respond. Most of the profiles will show you how recently a user was active.

    Bearing that in mind, you must message a large number of users to find a few who may be active and interested. I have done online dating twice (2007-2008 and 2015) and had good results both times, but I messaged many women, and I had many first dates/meetings before I found a woman who I wanted to date on a regular basis.

    It isn't supposed to be easy so if that is what you are looking for, you will be disappointed and frustrated. If you are willing to do the work, you will probably be successful. . . eventually. You may also need to try more than one site. There are some sites (like match and POF) that seem to have the same set of users so you should try a site that is significantly different from OKCupid (maybe something like eHarmony.)

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • I think for men, unless you're Chad Thundercock, it's basically a loss of time because the only factor being put in display is superficial: Looks.

    In real life you're more likely to put in display more of your qualities, for example charming facial expressions, charisma, good body language etc which gives much more chances for a guy to make an impact on the girl.
    On dating sites women get approached A LOT, which makes them ultra selective on the only quality being put in display: The looks, abs, pecs etc of the Dude, making much harder for the regular Joe to get noticed.

    So in short I don't think you have bad luck, IT seems that most men have the same luck when if comes to online dating.

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    • I was reading stuff earlier about how they are designed to fail so people would keep giving them their business

  • If you really want to find someone, stick with it for a while longer. I'd tried OkCupid many times because I've always been shy and thought online would be easier to meet people. Granted that most people don't even message back, but after a while I started talking to this really great guy and now over a year later we are still together and just going from strength to strength, so there are some really great people on there.

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  • Hmm, I think putting yourself on the right market is best. ex) Tinder is probably not the place for someone only desiring a serious relationship. I try to look at websites designed for similar people ex) one time I signed up for this vegetarian dating site in college XD

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  • Not a fan of LDR

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  • I was on dating sites for years off and on. you I have gone on a lot of dates with people most of them it wasn't working for me the 1st date so I ened things before it even started. I have actually met some awesome friends that way too. and met my boyfriend on tinder actually lol going on 2 years

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  • I've never tried online dating but I assume it's because people are fake online.

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    • I have assumed that too. I have gotten messages from what they call "bots" before. Those are profiles who are fake but they send computer generated messages. Most of the time aboutt hookup sites or sex webcam shows etc...

    • I guess there come a point when one realizes that its a big waste of time and better to go out into the world and try proper communication.

  • I guess it's because there're too many fakes online and smart people are usually extra careful and it leads to lots of disappointment and one ends up feeling bad for even giving it a go.

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What Guys Said 13

  • Here's the thing about online dating, it should never, never, NEVER substitute for in-person dating. As in if you are in situation to meet women in person, you should not be on your phone on the OKCupid app.

    Just keep on plugging away, broski. The key is to message something proving that u read her profile, and make sure the message is a question! Food, alcohol and music topics always work the best for me for the first message.

    This is a numbers game. Keep on plugging away, put more iterations into this system, and eventually you will draw a pink ball instead of a bunch of black ones.

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  • Ugh... most of the women I see on dating sites are either incredibly boring or send off warning bells of ticking drama timebombs. Likely, it could just be that dating profiles really don't give you a decent sense of a person, and thus they make it difficult.

    I would like to know more about what people mean by "the old fashioned way". What do you mean, "old fashioned way"? Because so far, this is what I've seen that constitutes "old-fashioned":

    1. take your dog to the park and hope to get in via the "awwww" factor
    2. go into a whole foods market and impede someone from getting an errand done
    3. go to a bar at like 12:30 and see if you can grab any of the intoxicated easy ones who aren't paying attention
    4. go to a gathering of the juggalos show with a sign around your neck that says "please have sex with me" (go watch any coverage of one of those shows, and you'll see that's quite a common occurrence... not sure how successful it is though).

    Do you have a better "old-fashioned" way of getting a date? What do you do? Where do you go?

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  • First impression is very important to have a date, it can be over the internet or out of it. Over the internet is generally a good picture that works at first (picture of you), then there are catchy lines that also helps, after that is up to you. Out of the internet the first impression is your look, the way you dress, then your behavior goes along, tone of voice, facial expression, body language... All of that. How attractive you´re gonna be for others is going to depend at some level in the factors I mentioned.

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  • Its pretty tough if you really put your hopes into it. I've been signed up for a while, but I try not take it too seriously. A lot of girls (and guys too I guess) just go on for an ego boost with little intention of doing anything.
    I have had some limited success, but I think its key not to let it get you down. I just enjoy the freedom of being single and keep my eyes open for someone worth changing that for.
    And personally I had much better luck on POF than OKC

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  • Try the old fashioned way, the chances of finding a nice girl online is almost none.

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  • I mean if you are looking for someone to date, then I'd certainly just try it the old fashioned way. Dating sites and apps like Tinder are mostly for the hook-up variety of encounter I'd think.

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    • I dont really like they want you to pay out the ass for messaging and other stuff too

  • I like the old fashion way. Personality shines through a lot more and people aren't able to be as shallow as they might be online. Dating isn't about checking things on a checklist, it's about making a connection.

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  • Stick with it - 99% of the time they won't respond, that 1% is what makes it all worth it.

    Maybe work on improving your profile and what that first message you send is, too. I met lots of great people on OKC when I was single.

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  • The first message is highly important. It's how you introduce yourself.

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  • You've summed it up pretty well. I've had similar experiences or, well, lack of experiences.

    That's a good question. I wish I knew the answer. I'll skim through the comments to see what others say.

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  • OKC sucks. so does POF. Its sad

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  • I've never tried it but your my age and I've heard even good sites are full of thirst dudes looking fir sex so you already are put in a box for having a dick.

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