So sick of dating... does the right guy even exist?

I have been single for two years now and I've just about had it. The last guy I was seeing never talked to me agai after we had sex for the first time. The guys before that ended up loosing interest in me over time - I became a hookup to them. I still find myself missing my first love even though I know I can't go back to him.

At this point I feel like I'm never going to find love again. I keep on telling myself to stop looking for love, but I can't. I always get way too excited with every new guy.

How can I get past this? How can I be content with being single? I have been traveling Europe for the past 6 months but the guys here are just as much of jerks as back home in the USA. Is dating just hopeless these days?

Updates:
Thanks for all the horrible advice

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Most Helpful Guy

  • How quickly are you going to bed with guys?

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    • Sometimes the second date, sometimes weeks after dating

    • I am older but I am not a prude; I know that sex feels good! And when you are young, you want to enjoy it, to prove your competence at love, to gain some experience, but. . .

      If you are spending your time for looking for a physical relationship, you will find guys who are looking for sex. When they get it, they move on, because - from their perspective - there is nothing left to prove with you; they move on to another challenge.

      Guys who want relationships are different. Think about the guys that you have been with and think about the things they had in common, then think about how they would be difference if they were serious about relationships. They would probably be more serious, more family oriented, more serious about a career, less impulsive and more long range planners.

      CONTINUED

    • You need to look for a new kind of guy, the kind that is more serious about love, the kind that will introduce you to his parents, the kind that will make sure that you are in your house safely before they drive away after a date, the kind that will wait for a few months to have sex, instead of waiting a few hours or a few days. These are the guys who aren't as flashy and charismatic, but these are the guys you would definitely call if you needed help.

      I don't know your circumstances, so you need to decide where you can meet a different kind of guy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going to say this because I've learned from my past mistakes. Don't sleep with them until after you're more serious. Until you're actually dating them. And even when you wanna sleep with them, don't. If he really likes you, he will wait for sex. If you really want an actual relationship, just get to know them and take things slow. This probably sounds really cliche but trust me on it, there's lots of guys who only want sex but also some that want something real. Don't lose hope yet!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • Well just reading your post, I will say without a doubt that the problem isn't with guys, it's with you. Your mindset, specifically.

    Thoughts are very powerful and they have the ability to completely alter your entire perception of reality. If you have it built up in your mind that all guys are assholes, then that's exactly what you will perceive, even if the guy is genuine and nice.

    Furthermore, if you're putting out the vibe mentioned above, then guys will pick up on that and perceive you as a bitch which only leads to a greater snowball effect.

    Your current attitude and approach clearly isn't working for you (not surprisingly), so that's what you should focus on and start changing. The rest will fall into place like magic.

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  • Most pepole are not perfect.
    Where to shy or not that shy but awkward instead
    or were trying to force it and don't actually have the time or energy to spare to make something work.
    Some of us are genuinely awful pepole and others to accommodating and over promise to try and make things work. or where insecure and unwilling to try new things or uncompromising sex has to be a certain way or unadventurous ie missionary sort of works why try anything else.
    Or sound uncertain unless we are 100% positive breading doubt in your mind.

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  • Don't you think if no guy likes you, that you are the problem? :/

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  • ... you're 19. This is the time you're meant to be out having fun and dating a lot, not trying to find Mr Right. Take all this as a learning experience.

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  • FIrst off, have you initiated any of the encounters with them? Most of the time, guys lose interest in a woman because the man has always made the first moves, and the woman failed to do so.

    Second, perhaps its your attachment to your first love that is holding you back.

    Third, you have no one to blame but yourself. Don't go about blaming guys for your failures of finding a long lasting relationship. Take personal responsibility for your happiness.

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  • You're 19. Give it a year's rest.

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  • Yes, as a guy I can claim with absolute 117% master certainty that there are no good guys left.

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  • The right guy has probably given up on dating already.

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  • Every single guy is different. If every single guy you come across doesn't like you, then YOU are the problem, not the guys.

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  • He's out there somewhere. It's just not time yet. You may not be ready for him yet.

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  • Being in relationships can be difficult, I can relate to your title of the question

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  • Stop being boring. It will work

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  • You find the nice guy. not because they want you to have sex or you are the hookup..

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  • I too have this problem. Girls usually just want to fuck my brains out. I'm not just some piece of meat without feeling or emotions. It's so fucking selfish and heartless. I feel like dying. But I'm afraid to die. Will some love me. I'm not just a hump toy.

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  • They see you as a quick fuck, nothing else. You're playing yourself into their game...

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  • at least you're getting dates. I can't even say that about myself. I've never been on a date with a girl. just keep doing it and you'll find the right guy. don't lose hope. also remember that there are other things in life too and to be happy and thankful and stay positive.

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  • no. leave us alone pls

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What Girls Said 12

  • Look into yourself for a second. You are the common denominator here. Im sure you're an awesome girl but you keep making the same mistakes. My advice is to take a break from dating. Achieve your goals. Indulge in your fav hobbies. Go out with friends/families. Live your life to the fullest. You don't need a boyfriend to do these things or to be happy. When u do decide that it's time for u to start dating again, do things different this time. Before falling head over heels, ask yourself do I actually like him or the IDEA of him being my bf? Him being cute & confident isn't a reason to fall head over heels. How does he treat YOU? Is he initiating sex from early? Also, tell him that you're looking for a relationship. Let that be established before going to bed with him.

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  • You are not the only one who feels like this. In this generation more and more guys feel like they dont have to put in any effort to get a female. They figure that most females prefer watching movies and laying on a couch as a date. And its sad. Dating requires going out and exploring different taste that the both of you didn't know you had. I dont date, I dont feel lonely at all. Id rather wait for the guy who is worth the wait then to rush into a relationship with a guy who leads me on and only wants sex. Sometimes you have to know when to pick your battles.

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  • Tbh when you're not actually looking for it, it just happens. Trust me on that one! Lol Maybe you're going to the wrong places to meet guys?

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  • I know how you feel. I'm throwing the towel in myself and calling it quits. Tired of being treated like an object and not a human being.

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  • @pac-man are you the right guy?

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  • Be more interesting?

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  • I feel you. There's always something about your first love. Maybe take a break from dating.

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  • Maybe you should stop sleeping around and don't go to bed after the first date with each single guy that has the hots for you. Just a start...

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  • Guys only care about sex. The trick is to use them for money. Do not have sex with them. Men are like dogs, they need to be trained

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  • Don't give up and stop running from it. It will find you when you least expect. You need to be content being with yourself before you are ready for a relationship. Giving it up only encourages guys to think of you as a hookup.

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  • ok so nobody is perfect. my dad and step mom love each other dearly and yet still have their arguments. they just tend to make amends when it comes to whats important to both of them which is each other. find someone who does that

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  • when I was younger I've unintentionally made them chase me for as long as possible because I was ridiculously shy. First they just seemed to be into me and as the months passed by some seemed to become obsessed, like, desperate, others gave up and then I knew who were worth it. Make a guy be obsessed by you.

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    • I've never, ever, heard that playing hard to get nets you the best guys

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    • @aryanjew so I don't undestand what you mean by it being "manipulation and cowardice", but that's ok if you don't want to share your experience

    • Obsession is not a healthy or positive state.

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