Why are men still expected to pay on first date in modern dating world. ( only referring to dates.) Why dont people split bill on fist date?

Why dont people split bill on first dates? Call it what ever you like, the first date is basically like a interwiew for both people. So if you dont get a second date you would feel cheated and as if you wasted you money. I've also seen thing in which people would go on dates just for free food. Why not split bill during dating proccess, than when you're in an actual relationship you can pay how ever you bloody want?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Who exactly is expecting you to pay? If it's the women you date, then let them know the business.

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    • a lot of girls have said they dont expect it, but if he doesn't there will not be a second date.

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    • You gotta point there

    • Thanks for mh

What Girls Said 12

  • I guess things are difference nowadays but men primarily paid because it's called "courting" a long lost art, men did it just to be in the company of a lovely women who no expectations just being a gentlemen and treating a women to a good time and if they hit it off a second date would ensue. The problem is gender roles are jacked up, I personally am traditional and the date should pay BUT the women returns the favors in kind by doing something nice like a small gift or cooking a meal for him on a following date that way someone is always contributing in some form, if a guy is so hyper focused on the check maybe he shouldn't be dating and stick to a TV dinner. That said not every women is a lady, so I understand the frustration of modern dating.

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    • lol... in my experience most women who say they are "traditional" aren't actually traditional at all by any historic standards, most of them just want to have their cake and eat it, too.

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    • had back then*

    • Understandable but you can't assume that's always going to be the caS
      I believe there are some women who still are traditional or as much as they can be (women having jobs or studying) Because of modern necessity.

      I was raised in a traditional Ecuadorian household where the women did all that, (cook, clean, raise children, make a house a home, etc ) so I can only speak for myself.

  • I have never in my entire life not offered to take half or the full bill on a first date.. Sometimes I pay all, sometimes I pay half and sometimes I don't pay.. sometimes guys almost act offended when you offer to take it or split it tho, so that makes it harder..

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    • How did you feel about it when the guy let you pay the whole bill? How often did that happen?

    • @roman_ce I didn't feel any different, if I would think it was ok I wouldn't offer. What usually happen is.. we go and eat and if I take the whole bill, he will usually insist on taking the drinks if we go to have any.. then we balance it back and forth.. almost like rounds I guess.. it works well.. but even if I pay everything during an entire date I would be fine with it.. Im also fine within paying everything if he wants to..

  • No clue. Though I like the idea of the other person paying, I would never expect such. I would have to turn you down if I didn't have the money, even if I liked you. Basically, you might get an automatic rejection solely on my financial situation.

    I think whoever asks should pay for both, to avoid the unnecessary rejection. So gender shouldn't be a factor.

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  • I always offer to split on the first date. If I don't intend on seeing them for a second date, I will pay for half of the bill and won't let him object.

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  • I think whoever asks on the first date should pay and then any date after that each person should pay for whatever they ate.

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    • That is mighty convenient for you considering how men are expected to ask out and, as a result, end up being the ones that pay anyway.

    • If i was interested in someone i would 100% ask them out first. And I would offer to pay on several occasions besides the first date. I have no problem with it. The other day i paid for a strangers coffee and tipped the barista $5. I agree that its unfair for a man to pay every time but I also believe it shouldn't be the standard that men have to be the one to ask. Women can be held accountable just as well and i would never expect someone to foot the bill just because society said so.

  • Split bill is what I would do because that's what I was raised to believe is right. However, some girls were raised to believe that men should pay on a first date? I don't know.

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    • Many guys were raised to believe that men should pay as well. :)

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    • @roman_ce I'd rather it be half half than whole bill all of the time. Unless the guy has paid whole bill for me before, then yeah I can.

    • I see :)

  • Cause guys should pay? I mean it doesn't have to be a fancy resturant or anything it could be chipotle but still it shows you care and value her. Good luck getting a date and getting a girl with that mentality.

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    • You could make the same argument as to why the girl should pay, "because it shows you care and value about him."

    • @male292 true but this is assuming the guy asked the girl out in the first placd

    • why are you assuming such a thing?

  • Half and half seems much fairer. I think it's called "going dutch" but I'm not sure. And like you said, it gets rid of the moochers who just want a free meal.

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  • girls have to do so much more and spend way more money just to go on a date

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    • no you don't HAVE to. the same way men don't HAVE to pay.

  • There are a lot of things men still expect women to do. And i found the only answer. Don't date with a person who expect me to do traditional things just because of my gender.
    Guys don't date a girl like that. Then girls will pay if they still wanna date.

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  • Real men pay. What is wrong with guys paying for the date? Women spend much money on the outfit and accessories to make ourselves attractive to men.

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    • No one expects you to. You do it for yourself. And it's not his fault that you aren't a natural 10/10 and have to spend tons of money to make yourself attractive to men.

    • @male292 Then go out with guys because girls deserve to be treated well from the very first date and that includes men paying for the dinner.

    • "guys deserve top be treated well from the very first date and that includes women paying for the dinner."

      and no, I'm not gay, I'm just attracted to natural beauties. And no girl I dated expected me to pay for her ever, quite the opposite, they'd always insist.

  • Why do guys complain so much? I can understand you don't want to pay ALL the date but you can at least paid the first right? You can just grab a coffee it wouldn't cost you more than $10.
    After nothing force you to paid for it just don't complain that your date prefer having a second date with someone who have paid her first date.

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    • so in short all girls are gold diggers?

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    • As i've said you chose the prostitution path and its gonna be one bumpy ride and you probably will commit to a guy that you dont even love or admire and will cheat eventually.

      the most i've paid for a girl was 10$ and she became my girlfriend, since getting into college i've noticed girls often expect guys to pay and they want as much as they can get from the guy, usually wihtout giving anything back in return, also i've noticed that a lot of guys who dont seem to pay for any girl still get laid and date girls, do you know why? cause women already like them they dont have to do anything, all this paying a lie you dont have to pay for any girl all you have to do is make her like you , women like you are what men avoid, gold diggers.

    • @IceCubedude you can call me name all you want, I'm engaged and I never cheat neither did he. He do paid for the first date and it doesn't mean I never paid anything for him.
      So $10 is normal for a first date, mine paid like 5 or the first date and I didn't complain. But he paid for me.

What Guys Said 16

  • I'm old school. If I ask, I'm gonna pay. I know I SURE AS HELL wouldn't appreciate someone inviting me out, then insisting I PAY, when THEY asked me out! So in the old school handbook... if I ask her, I pay. If she asks me, she pays.

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    • Thankfully men like you still get it

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    • @vampirebites ok I guess but now you're just annoying me oh and you're a girl.

    • @vampirebites Now now... everyone just take a deep breath. Now...*battle stance!* jk... it's just the generation I was raised both by, and in. Times come to change in this regard obviously... Though if I could turn the hand of that clock back to 1989, I'd do it so freaking fast!!!

  • I am an older guy. The average age of women I date is 23 and my current girlfriend is 20.

    I always ask on the first meeting, "Why do you like older guys?" The number one answer is, "Because they don't make me pay [for a date]".

    So go ahead and insist on splitting the bill, and the hot girl that will never go out with you again will be sleeping with me.

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    • And ill be saving my money.

    • What's the point of saving money if it isn't to have girls chase you for it?

      The key is to make it faster than they can spend it.

  • Women have been fucking spoiled. That's why.

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  • Because that is equal. Notice they only cry about "equality" when it benefits them..

    As far a I'm concerned we split it every single time, even if the total ends up becoming $12. Call me cheap if you want, I'm equal.

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  • Tbh, never been on an expensive dinner date. But if I go for a coffee I just buy one for myself, or say ' after you ' when we line up for coffee. Only one girl ever psychologically pressured me to get coffee - we were at a coffee bar where we sat down first and then went up to get drinks /choose. She suggested I go get the coffee, which I did and then immediately felt guilty when I came back and insisted to pay. Point is, you can usually get away without paying for the girl.

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    • Also there are dates that don't involve spending money - a walk in the park, trip to a museum, library, etc.

  • Because you're expected to be a gentleman! Even if everything else is equal, you should still approach, call first, open doors, help with talking off her jacket, push in the chair, and you guessed right, PAY FOR EVERYTHING, and not just on the first date but on every date.

    That's what a gentleman would do and he would do it without hesitation.

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  • One reason I don't date and just stick to whores. It's far cheaper in the long run, even at $200 an hour.

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  • If women are so concerned about who pays for the date they aren't worth dating anyway.

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  • Haha questions like these make me appreciate how much luck I had with women. I was never expected to pay, quite the opposite, most women would insist on paying for the date, even on the second and third date.

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  • Because gentleman.

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  • Women like a nice time. Paying for a nice time isn't a nice time to them.

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  • Good question

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  • Because women don't realize that just about every argument as to why the man should pay can be equally applied to women as well.

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  • Because girls still want equality and special treatment

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  • because women are fucking hypocrites

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  • who gives a fuck go on a quick date like what's 50 dollars. Most people lie about what they make and its a good way to see if the dude is full of shit... If you make 5k a month and you care about 50 to $ 100 or even a $500 date you don't make the money you say you do. And if you think if I don't have money she won't like me you have an false sence if reality. fuck this going Dutch bullshit too. Usally is the girl is interested she would go buy tickets to a concert or comedy show to show that she appreciate you when you get to know her. And if she is a terable person who uses people then kick her to the curb her loss not mine.

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