A bisexual woman dating a bisexual man?

Here's the catch, we're both bisexuals, me attracted to feminine types and him attracted to ladyboys. We are kind of in a open relationship but restricted to me seeing a man and him seeing a woman. My worry actually is, how can I explain this to someone who sees him having drinks with a ladyboy. He's a western, and westerns are very blunt or sometimes insensitive as I call it? What approach should I say to him with regards to seeing ladyboys when I'm not around? I am fine he hooking up with a ladyboy but I am not okay with him having drinks and dinner with someone else in public.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should join a commune where everyone shares with everyone else, including sex partners, so you'd be too confused to be jealous! And avoid Westerners, who don't understand your culture to begin with, even if you had a more traditional and less controversial type relationship!

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    • I am restricted doing it with someone of opposite sex. Just him only, and lesbians/bi-woman and he only with ladyboys, and me.

      We practice safe sex when doing it with others and totally NO 3some for us. We also did watching each other making out with someone else. 😊

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're trying to have an open relationship, every detail and boundary needs to be discussed openly and you guys need to agree on all the "yes's" and "no's" that make you BOTH feel comfortable, before anyone takes action outside the relationship.

    That being said, are you sure you really want an open relationship? They rarely work out. Just because you're bi, doesn't mean you can't be faithful. I'm bi, but the ability to be attracted to women doesn't make me unable to be faithful to one partner. It just means there are lots of dating options for me when I'm single. I've been with the same guy for five years now, will probably marry him, and I have no regrets about being monogamous and faithful. I'm in a relationship with someone I love. If I had never met him, it's equally possible I could have fallen in love with a woman, but I didn't. I fell in love with him. And just like any straight or gay person, I have plenty of opportunities for sex with other people but I'm not interested in any of that because I'm in a relationship.

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    • Yes I have no problem with being in an open relationship with him to be honest. The only problem is since I live in a Catholic country, the values here are very different from western countries. If my friends and family saw him mingling with a ladyboy, that's what I need to cover up. I am not jealous really, because this is both beneficial to us. There's more than just attraction to same sex. I consider our relationship more of a therapy than satisfying sexual needs by someone else.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 9

  • if you gay your might as well go back to women it's safer cleaner and less chance of diseases... otherwise i see this as disaster you really have no chance of this relationship going anywhere great and he's not going to be true to you and most importantly your embarassed of him being with other men and yet he's your boyfriend... do you see the disaster of where this is going? maybe this relationship gives you a reprieve from being gay for you but your still gay and probably always will be gay... if that's your true feelings... sometimes that doesn't apply but if your dating another bi-sexual who is a man then your probably not going to meet a revelation here and discover your straight when it's probably not true at all.

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    • I am not worried to get sick because my boyfriend is like an OC in bed believe me. Just the culture where I live is shocking. I am totally fine with our set up. But being in a Catholic country, I can't explain it to my friends and family in case he is caught mingling with ladyboys in public. (Not literally dating, just having a few drinks and dinner, that's it). He's being honest if he's going out with a ladyboy.

    • Show All
    • Just what if someone I know saw him taking a ladyboy out for drinks. I do not know how would I explain to everyone our set up cause it is a weird set up for everybody.

    • i agree with you it would be difficult to explain.

  • I feel like his only other option is to meet someone on the interner and slip into their motel room? That could be shady and dangerous. If you guys are in an open relationship then what are you worried about? What other people think? Other people will alwaya find a reason to complain. Let them. Of y'all are happy, do you.

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    • That's just my dilemma, tbh. My friends and family would saw him going out with a ladyboy for casual encounters (I have no d*ck to satisfy him though) and he enjoys me going out with a woman. It's just that I live in a conservative and Catholic country, it's hard to explain to everybody how our set up is like. I just want us to do it discreetly. Well we have marriage plans and he always tells me he doesn't want to do it with another woman, only me. I understand his needs for men (and ladyboy preferably cause he doesn't want a discreet bisexual/gay as well), it's both beneficial for us because it's like a therapy from our past experiences.

  • I think you should talk to him directly, you guys have similar sex orientations and in this case you sort of agreed to have an "open relationship" with him, so it is normal that he will see ladyboys with or without your permission.

    I think you guys should talk and see where you are standing, is this relationship serious? Emotionally stable? Try to figure it out together with him before you loose control over the situation.

    Good luck <3

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    • Yes we talked yesterday and he assured me that he is not going to see any women and actually would like to marry me someday. And he wanted me pregnant. I just worry that other may take it negatively seeing him publicly with a ladyboy, and how would my family and friends react to that because I live in a conservetive and Catholic country. But we being in an open relationship is great, just to do it discreetly.

    • You should not care what others say, you should be happy with him not the others so don't worry <3

    • I'm happy really, never been this happy before.

  • Just tell him straight out.. Your relationship is complicated enough and if you want a relationship like that to work you must at least be honest with each other and not stumble around subjects when you know what you want the end game to be..

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    • Tbh, this is the only thing he wanted for that I have issues with, the rest, he is more of understanding and making an effort more than I do in our relationship. I don't mean I am very hard to understand, I am very patient, understanding and kind. If only we I don't live here, a country with strict values, I won't get worried.

  • Woah gurl, all The power to you lol This relationship is kinda messed up!

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    • Just having issues him having coffee with a ladyboy in public. I don't mind doing it discreetly.

  • I'm mad at the word lady bug but you don't have to explain anything to anyone it's not their business

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  • What a confusing relationship?

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  • No offense but this Q keeps following me around, ergo the only way to dismiss it is to post an opinion... I think =

    Q title = WHO CARES?

    Q body of personal trauma = so sorry but this sounds like jealousy which has no place in a love connection. Simply put, if you don't trust him, go shopping for a replacement - easier than trying to change someone into someone else better suited

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  • ewww what a weird relationship. congratulations on having a stomach for it. I would say normally. But i won't as it is none of my business. My only worry is your restriction. i thin if you both are bi, you should live your identities fully rather than restricted in the relationship. and also please make sure you both are protected.

    coming to your question, i think if someone tells you that they see him with ladyboys in public, you should not feel uncomfortable and try to make a long explanation. it is your life, nobody's life. just say you know that he sees that ladyboy, and just say they're friends and close the topic. if this really bothers you thou, you already have a restriction in relationship, you can add this to his list and kindly tell him that you're concerned so you dont want him to be seen publicly.

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