Guys how do I get my boyfriend to spend time with me?

Hi guys! How do I get my boyfriend of almost 4 years to spend time with me. He's a big gammer and I've tried everything! I even got a console with two player games so we can play together. But nothing. He even refuses to go out on the town with me! He'd rather sit at home in his room playing single player games. We're going through a rough patch financially but we still love each other dearly and have every intention on becoming husband and wife one day. How do I get him to spend more time with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not sure what kind of man would rather play video games than spend time with his girlfriend. I can't think of anything that wouldn't make him angry or that might hurt the relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, make sure you ask him to, don't just expect it. Say that you would like him to come off every so often and maybe even choose a day where you will agree to do something on the outside world. Suggest fun things he will actually want to do, like going getting his favorite take out and sitting watching a film he likes together. Baking is also a really fun thing to do together and you get to enjoy the treats afterwards. My ex loved doing this and would usually be the one randomly asking if we could go to the shop for ingredients. Which reminds me of another, grocery shopping. It can actually be fun if you do it together. It might not be "romantic" time spent together but you can talk and it's still quality time. There are lots of things and all you have to do is suggest them. Don't expect him to come up with things and randomly surprise you with plans because he probably won't.

    I was with a gamer guy for 3 years (it didn't work out but not because of that), and I'm with a gamer guy now too. It's easy to get lost in that world and time just goes a lot quicker than you think. Weeks can sometimes fly by and your mind is occupied by the game so you don't even realize. I'm a gamer girl and sometimes he would be the one bugging me to come off and do things together. It's nice that you're trying to find two player games to join in with him, but usually they're addicted to one or two games and just can't be bothered with any others. Like, if I'm enjoying a game I want to play it all the time and can't enjoy a different game as much. Maybe take interest in what he is playing at the time instead.

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    • I'm the only one that plans the spending time together stuff. And when the date comes he conviniently forgets and insists we never made plans. He refuses to cook and hates sweets. Even if I do finally get him to go out, he's upset and grumpy the entire time. Grocery shopping is the same way.

    • He sounds quite immature then to be completely honest. Well, what else does he like to do? Any other hobbies? He's probably grumpy because he feels he's been made to do it just to keep you happy. But you need to tell him that it's not ok to just bail on things and avoid spending time together. That you feel neglected and you need to start doing more together or it's just not going to work. If I was feeling a bit neglected I would usually just entertain myself, try not to think about it or even do much with him, hardly even interact with him. Soon enough he'd realize and come asking me to do stuff with him. It would sometimes take a while though.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe you can buy another console for yourself and play some multiplayer with him

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  • plan a really date at an arcade or something

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    • He hates arcade :(

    • what? what a weirdo. i guess just tell him how you feel and if he can't comply consider breaking up with to find a guy who appreciates you

What Girls Said 1

  • throw away his games

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