My biggest issue, is that I can't get over a coworker that I fell in love with... It has been 2-3 years, and I still feel hurt... I am really confused with how I feel...
I used to have problems with depression, anxiety, extreme heart break...
But I fought it hard, I am no longer depressed, my anxiety is low and my heart is in a lot better of a place... but it's not fully healed...
Will a psychologist be able to help me get over her, stop feeling hurt, and move forward in life?
I also have other issues that they may be able to help with, Family issues, Being lost in life, Unhappy with Career... ( I am 24 if it matters)
I am hesitant because I will feel so pathetic seeing one, I should "man up" and just deal with it, not talk to someone who will think I am a pathetic human.
Also I have gotten better these past couple years, so is there a point seeing one? Should I just keep trying to move on without one? Some days I am fine, but some days I break down and am sad/heart broken... Like when I found it she has plans for valentines.
Have you seen a psychologist before? How does is work? How was your experience?
Most Helpful Girl
If you're open to speaking honestly with someone then I think it can really be beneficial, but keep in mind you may need to see a few before you "click" with someone.
I've seen someone on and off for almost a decade. I originally needed it for some serious issues and it's tapered off to occasionally which for me prevents small issues becoming big ones. Not only can they help you see your experience and emotions from a different point of view, but they can give you coping strategies and exercises to move past them.
All the best 😊0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Guy
Seeing a psychologist is like seeing a doctor when our body's doing something unexpected. I can't understand why you would be waiting this long! That's silly.
Get counselling anytime you need a healthy perspective on healing past trauma or heart ache! They have a world of experience that we can't comprehend until they share it with us.
But I'll also tell you this... sometimes it takes patience finding someone we trust and like, so be willing to move on if they're not helpful.
Second... I'm well versed in anxiety. Heart ache and anxiety are self reinforcing, self created issues. Relief from anxiety comes from what you THINK about, how you THINK, and how you focus your thoughts. It's all about YOU.
The problem with anxiety and depression is that they cause is to isolate ourselves, and it's actually our isolation that re-inforces our bad ways of thinking.
And we FEEL what we THINK.
But trust me... feelings aren't facts. How you FEEL doesn't mean the horrible thoughts you're having are FACTS.
Heart ache is a dilution we create for ourselves. It's self made suffering. It comes from attachment. The Dahlia Lama talks in great depth about our misguided beliefs about attachment.
We feel pain of loss when we THINK things need to be permanent, we THINK people need to be with us forever, and when we delude ourselves into thinking nothing SHOULD ever change.
But in reality ALL OF LIFE IS CHANGE. Nothing stays the same, ever. So being upset that something has changed is lunacy. Like being angry that the weather has changed, or that the sun rises and sets.
Depression comes from thinking about the past. Anxiety comes from thinking about the future.
When we are PRESENT and in the NOW moment we become free of depression and anxiety because we're out of our heads and into the moment. This is why meditation helps so much, it's a practice of being mindful and present, instead of in our heads creating fears and worries.
The fastest way I found peace of mind was both in self education around mental health (try these books: UNLIMITED POWER and THE FOUR AGREEMENTS to start) and focus yourself on your passions and goals. Being productive about your passions will help you feel purposeful and proud and certain and self assured.
And being social also helps us regain perspective, which heals us from anxiety and depression. And asking for help is wise and healthy!
(My Blog https://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com )1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE