Is it stupid to wait?

So I am pretty young and want to wait for marriage for sex. I really am not going to change my answer just thought it would be an interesting question. Is it stupid to wait for marriage for sex?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It isn't stupid if you're doing it for the right reason. I think if you're doing it because that is what your parents told you to do, then that isn't a good reason. Sex is a personal choice. If you are doing it because you truly feel it is best for you to wait, then there is nothing wrong with that.

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    • I am doing it because of 4 reasons my parents advise it but don't demand it, religious beliefs, I want to save something for me and my wife to share, and I don't want to risk the chance of having a kid.

    • Okay so if that is what you want then go for it. Just remember if down the line you decide you don't want to save yourself, it's okay. Don't feel bad about it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Most people who did not wait until marriage will tell you that it's stupid and most people who waited will tell you that it's smart. Listen to people who give you both sides of the argument and who don't sound like they just want to get you to agree with their decision.

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What Girls Said 10

  • No it's not stupid to wait if that's your personal wishes, standards or convictions.

    I wanted to wait until after we were married as well. The closer we got the more I wanted sex; he was willing to wait because he knew it meant a lot to me. We just came to the point after talking about it where we decided that we were going to go ahead and have sex versus waiting. We were already engaged and committed to eachother, nothing was going to stop us from getting married!! When we did it was planned, in a safe place where we wouldn't be interrupted or bothered by anyone else, it was romantic, everything a couple could want for their first time (his too).

    I totally respect any couple who can control their urges to wait until the knot is tied, then go totally wild!! Good luck, you'll make it, if that's what you want!!!

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  • I dont know why this would be stupid. You are responsible for yourself, make up your mind and do it... or not do it in your case. Its not stupid to decide what you thin is best for you and stand by your decision.

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  • Listen, you can make whatever decision you feel is best for you, but as someone who's already been through a divorce, I can say, I won't be marrying anyone else without a test drive.

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  • good things come to those who wait

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  • If you can then kudos to you. You don't have to feel stupid for not being part of the herd. If you can resist that level of intimacy then less drama for you. If I could have I would have but I'm Pandora and it was just too tempting.

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  • No, it's not stupid. Its a very good thing that you want to wait. People who have sex while they're not married are not the best people. I myself am planning to get married first.

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  • My advice to have sex with your partner before you get marry. You must to know if you two have sexually compatible with each other.

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  • Not stupid at all.

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  • Its not stupid. A controversial topic? Yes. Its all about what you're comfortable with and if you're fine with the chance that you both might not be compatible sexually after marriage.

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    • I am not worried about that I am waiting because I want to have something to share with my wife and religious beliefs.

    • Oh okay, Are you Muslim?

  • Wow, I never thought I'd meet another young soul willing to wait until marriage for sex. You're not stupid to wait but you might change your mind as you get older. If those are your morals, who has the right to tell you to go against them?

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What Guys Said 10

  • I think it's rather smart and good for society, but I think of it as a sacrifice for the well-being of the nuclear family, of raising children. I would also expect such a view to be accompanied by the idea that divorce should be avoided at all costs. That's when this tradition really makes sense, putting the welfare of the family and children above all else.

    The reason I think it's a sacrifice is because if you've slept around as much as I have, you'll find that there are some women with whom you have a much greater sexual compatibility than others, I mean worlds apart. I don't mean it in the sex of a technique or anything that can be improved. I mean genuine compatibility.

    For example, you might be very dominant but the girl is also very dominant. Now sex tends to become extremely aggressive as you fight for control. Both of you might be very submissive. Now sex barely happens with lack of initiative. She might be very vocal and order you to do things to please her. You might not care for it. She might be very kinky and you might be more romantic and you might not care for it, or vice versa. She might have a very low sex drive and you might have a very high sex drive, leading to a mostly sexless marriage where you might have to jerk off all the time because your wife is never in the mood.

    In my case I value this feeling of being connected in the bedroom. I'm not so kinky and prefer a more intimate kind of sex. Even for my first girlfriend who I thought I loved, we did not have that. She was more aggressive and physical about it and wasn't responding to my slow and gentle approach to it very well.

    With my fifth girlfriend, she amazed me. I never knew sex could be so amazing. It was like making love to a goddess. She absolutely loved my natural kind of approach, she was so into when I touched her and how I touched her. It was almost like we could read each other's minds. She was like a sexual soulmate and I fell deeply in love with her in ways I never imagined (I thought nothing would top my first love). I actually fell in love with her through the process of sleeping with her. After that she became "the one".

    What I had with my fifth girlfriend is something I think most people who abstain from sex until marriage will never experience unless they got ridiculously lucky and happened to choose someone so sexually compatible on their first try.

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    • If I use a food analogy, marriage is like choosing to eat only one type of food for the rest of your life. Those who abstain from all sex until marriage will not only eat one type of food for the rest of their life, but will only try one type of food in their entire life. The idea of "favorite" is absolutely meaningless here when you've only tried one thing.

      That's why I consider it a sacrifice since it could deprive you of finding something more of a "favorite", which then might have some cost to the passion/sexuality/romance in your marriage. This is especially the case if you're like me and discover that your key to really falling madly over a girl is originally through that sexual experience you share together.

      Still I consider it a noble sacrifice when it comes to putting the marriage, family, and kids above all else.

    • Those of us who have had multiple sexual partners will generally frown at this idea, and it's because we've gotten to experience and compare what it's like to have different types of partners.

      It's like if you've traveled around the world and ate all kinds of different food, you might frown at the idea of someone who never wants to try anything but oatmeal for the rest of their life.

      But the person who eats only oatmeal for their entire life can never find themselves wanting. Even if they might absolutely love steak or pizza or spaghetti or salads or anything else, they'll never try it, will never taste it, and so they'll never have to feel disappointed with just oatmeal.

      Oatmeal becomes the love of their lives having only known oatmeal, and maybe that's not such a bad thing. They'll live in bliss having never tried, and never will try, anything else.

  • Yes very stupid

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  • No, not at all.

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  • You do you bud

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  • It's not stupid to wait for marriage. That's of course if you can wait till you find the right girl to settle down with. Save's yourself for someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with together.

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  • no, but it take a strong person to do this.

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  • Not stupid at all, but just know society is going to make fun of you for it. Don't let it get to you

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  • first grow up..

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  • Nah. If you. It's are virgins, you 2 will end up being the happiest couple ever you know that?

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  • No no

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