Would this relationship go anywhere or should I end it now?

I met this guy 1.5 years ago on a business trip. He lives in France and me in Vietnam. We talked for a while and only until the second time we met, we decided to take it further. The distance relationship was great but difficult because of the distance. We took turn to see each other. Then we had the discussion of either me moving for him or he moving for me, thats when he got cold feet and started to act weirdly. I decided to put an end to it and as expected, he begged to be back to how we were, yet, without a plan of closing the distance. He said he was scared of the potential "responsibilities" as I was willing to support him financially if he moves for me and he was not able to do the same if i move. We earn around the same and the living costs are so different in the two countries. So I kept it normal and talked to him as friends. Recently, i (crazily) decided to take a 2 week holiday to France, to see him for the last time and have a proper break up. He also took a 2 week holiday and we went on a road trip, which was really good. He took me to meet his mother and siblings, spent a night at his mother's place. Previously he did not want to take me there as we weren't at "that stage".

My plan was to cut all communications once i return to my country at the end of the holiday (which is now!) but now i have mixed feelings about this. He asked to give it sometimes and see how things go and that he would like to see me again (my next trip is in June for work). We are not in a relationship and this makes me uncomfortable as we live so far away, he's not the kind that like to text a lot on the phone, also not good at express his feelings. Should i just wait and see how things go? And see him again in June? Or should i just move on now and stop talking to him?

Not really sure what he was trying to do by taking me to see his family, it's quite important in the Asian culture but probably not the case with the European one.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a tough call to make. You already invested almost 2 years in this. Do you think it's worth the time and effort?

    His communication and texting has to improve in order for this to work and these long gaps in seeing each other makes it hard.

    Also eventually one of you guy's will have to move and be with the other person in order for this to fully work.

    Don't let him use you for sex or play with your emotions if he is not serious about fully commiting.

    • The problem is i don't really want to move because i don't speak french and his job isn't good enough to support me once i move. I've been thinking and tbh, not certain this would work. Though i really like him which makes it harder to move on. He doesn't give a clear answer on how we can close the distance, yet gives me hope that the relationship is worth keeping. Pretty complicated :(

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    • Not much left, i'm considering how long i should wait and will discuss with him when i know. Thanks a lot of the advice!

    • Your very welcome and thank you very much for selecting my answer as the most helpful opinion. And also please come back for more updates. I hope thing's can work out between you and him. I hope he can see thing's your way.

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What Guys Said 5

  • No seeing his family is not so important in France, but still, that was a big step fro him to take.

    But given the cultural gap, you would need 100% commitment from both of you to have a chance for you two to be a couple.

    I get the impression his commitment is MUCH less than 100%, and yours is a little less than 100%...

    So moving on right away is the best step to take.

  • I can not speak for the french. but he should of, known that bringing you to meet family was a big step in how you would view it. if he did not then dump him. Even I know that and I do not travel or have an Asian girl.

    • He hadn't taken any girl back to meet his family since he broke up with his ex 2.5 years ago. Plus he talked to his mother about me a lot, which surprised me of how much she knew about me. Just that he said to wait and see how things go, i just don't know if i should hang on to this or accept it will not go anywhere due to the distance.

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    • I don't think Trump will do much in my favour lol ;)

    • You are not from Mexico and have not run to the border you are good. :)

  • I stopped reading after "as expected". You're arrogant

  • follow your heart..

    • My heart is silly though, i broke up with him then took a holiday to see him lol

    • then do yoga clear your mind.. then you feel free..

  • My long distance did not work after 7 months


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