Girls explain the hell known as the Friendzone?

So explain why put a guy through that hell of state like honestly what do u get out of keeping a guy at bay


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Friendzoning someone would mean that that friend asked us out (was clear about his feelings for us) and we rejected him. You can't really consider yourself being friendzoned if you weren't clear about your feelings. Then you're just a friend. Everyone is just a friend at first. If she rejected you and you decided to stay friends, then it's completely your fault if you're still sticking around hoping for something more. Not only that it's your fault, you're also a crappy friend then and a desperate looser. If you can't stand being friendzone then leave.

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    • It pisses me off how many fake friends are there. We actually like you and consider you a great friend, and then after god knows what time you come and say "this bitch she friendzoned me, I'm suffering inside!" while we have no freaking idea what's happening in your head. Geez, really good to know that you had a crush on me all this time and you pretended to be my friend just in hope you get some because you're too of a coward to confess your feelings. You have no idea how much it hurts to say goodbye to a good guy friend who had no balls to be honest from the start, it's a friendship killer.

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    • @CheckPlease It could just be a phase. Loneliness and horniness can make us believe something that's not really there. I've had these phases where I haven't felt a guy's touch in ages and I start looking my guy friends in a different way because of that. It's a craving, desire and a desperation for an intimacy, no matter who the person is. I know it's just a phase because if I really liked this person I would like him from the start, not now after a year. There's a reason why I wasn't attracted to him from the start, so I remind myself of all those reasons and then realize that I don't like HIM but the IDEA of being intimate with someone, and he just happened to be the closest one there. So I just waited out and turned out I was right, because the moment someone better came I stopped liking my friend. Unless my friend like drastically changed, both physically and mentally, and became this new person that I somehow fell in love with over-night. But that never happened so I dunno.

    • Um you make a very good point thanks for the insite.

Most Helpful Guy

  • In most cases, they aren't intentionally putting a guy through hell. They simply see him as a friend, not a lover. We can't control who we are attracted to, men and women alike. If she rejects you bUT likes you as a friend, she isn't a monster any more than you are a monster for rejecting women.

    Now consider this. Why would you put *yourself* through hell when you have options? I know a way out of the friendzone which works every time. Ready for it? You walk away. You remain polite, civil, and friendly (and being friendly is different from being a friend), and you realize that in most cases she isn't intentionally trying to hurt you so you hold your head up and walk away without rancor. You limit your contact with her until such time when your heart heals, however long that takes. Then you find another lady who you like who can return your feelings. If you are repeatedly rejected, it might be time to think about how you can make yourself more attractive to women.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 12

  • Friendzoning is different than purposely leading a guy on. I guess you could say that I've put guys in the friendzone, and it always happened because they liked me and I just wanted a friend in them. They didn't have to stick around, they could have left at any point but they choose to stay being my friend. I feel like a lot of men do this and then bitch endlessly like they're some kind of victim of a sick game. Dumb.

    If you're being led on then that's something entirely different and just awful. That's the fault of an insecure woman who wants to feel special without having to return the sentiment.

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  • Usually, i would get out nothing, and i admit it is very difficult process for us women too, it happened to me ONCE that i had to friendzone one of my amigos, and trust me, it was SO FREAKING difficult, i even CRIED afterwards, because i hate hurting people.

    WHY i friendzoned him? Well i just didn't have any feelings, and i didn't really FEEL HIM in general, even though he was good looking and he had nothing negative. BUT THE FEELING WAS NOT THERE?

    Im I a bad person now? You be the judge...

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  • In my opinion, y'all need to stop thinking that what people loathingly refer to as "the friendzone" is some sort of purgatory that women put "nice guys" into. My friendship is not some crappy consolation prize that you're left with if I deny you a sexual relationship -- and my body is not your reward for good behavior.

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    • amen girl
      I have several female freinds that I wanted to get to know cause I liked something about them. Often just being thier freind is better because it is hard to romantically match but it is a lot easier to be thier freind and be miss matched.
      Freinds of the opposite sex are a valuable thing.

  • It's the nicest form of rejection, instead being up front an honest cause they don't want you to be hurt or angry, they just say " I I see you as a friend, or just want us to stay friends" when they have no real intentions of having a true friendship with the guy. Cause deep down inside they know it's ackward, they hope that by saying that you'll become uninterested and move on. Now not all girls are like this.. some DO actually want to keep you as a friend, not a back up plan, but a real friend they go to and talk with. Why? Cause they like you, feel comfortable around you, and trust you. When this happens you can either try to be her friend or just move on if you can't.

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    • BS girl. A flat out no I'm not interested in you. Is the nicest for of rejection. then hash out if he still wants to be friends. But the other part is true. Very few girls do want to keep the guy as a freind. In my experience those two often become even closer friends afterwards. Only if they really stay friends.

  • I mean like anyone can reject someone because it is up to themselves to decide on what is best for them and girls think more deeply about "hmmm is he right for me, would he treat me well?"... Also, the word "friendzone" is just a term for "oh I can't date you but we can still be friends" type of way. Of course it may hurt the guy but at least the girl still makes the effort to still be friends with you for example. The guy should still appreciate that.

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    • And the guy should walk away and never, ever speak to that girl again.
      Only beta Momma's boy faggots accept the "Friendzone". The same men
      who would date/marry single mothers.

  • I think it's wrong honestly, I never believed in it and it happened to me once, and it sucked, felt like he was using me and it was so obvious. I try my best to let a guy know I'm not interested. It's kind of hard at times because I'm nice and they mistake my kindness and thinks I like them. So when I turn them down, they will either treat me like a bad guy or assume I friendzoned them.

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    • But " friendzone" means when a guy/girl wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded situation with that person.

  • It's non-existent. Dr. Dorian said it best.
    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...29e0e52a78.jpg

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    • If you really care about someone, why would you want to continue hanging around with them if you know that prolonged contact just prolongs the pain?

      Couldn't it be said that if you really care about someone, you'll let him/her go without anger because you don't want to prolong a broken heart?

    • @Bluemax the two characters agreed to stay friends. Dr. Reed didn't know how Dr. Dorian really felt about her until later

  • To be honest hurting my friends is the last thing I want to do. It's not my fault if they catch feelings at some point, and I always feel terrible about it. But if I'm not into them it's always better to be honest about it and "friendzone" them instead of lying to them.
    Try and think what you'd do if a friend of yours who you don't like and wouldn't date told you she has feelings for you.

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  • I don't do it with the intention of making them mad or sad or whatever. My feelings just might not be the same as theirs and I can't help that

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  • 23 Times The Internet Reminded Us The "Friend Zone" Isn't Real

    www.buzzfeed.com/.../the-friend-zone-is-not-real-sorry-dude

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  • If a girl was into him, she obviously wouldn't put him in the friend zone. I have had a close guy friend who liked me and I didn't feel the same. You can't control your feelings.

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  • I just know personally every time i like a guy it ends badly, so if i love you as a friend why would i want to ruin it with awkwardness you know

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What Guys Said 8

  • Well for one if he likes her and she just wants him as a friend. She knows that she could get attention from him. Like @Checkplease she can feel safe showing off or just practicing her moves on him.
    For a lot of poeple they know that everyone wants something from someone else. It could be they want friendship, a companion, attention, sex... With a girl that has a guy stuck in the friend zone. She knows what he wants or thinks she does.

    What I don't understand is how women feel betrayed by a guy friend that tries asking them out?

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  • The friendzone is exactly what the word says: a zone for friends. Every friend of hers is in the friendzone. It's that simple.
    And yes, you can get out of the friendzone.

    The friendzone is different than keeping a guy on the hook, though.

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  • Honestly, I think its the guys fault for not walking away.

    Obviously she's a cunt if she leads you on, but otherwise, the guy should have counted his losses and got out.

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    • Amen.

      I would add this. ANY person, man or woman, is not a good person if they expect the rejected to remain friends NO MATTER HOW MUCH HEARTACHE IS FELT.

      People seem all to eager to subscribe to this notion, "If you care about the rejector, you'll stay friends." Yet fewer people seem to consider the idea, "If you care about the rejected, you'll let him/her go."

      As is typical of me, I'd like to ask you why you think people seem more willing to subscribe to the former and not the latter.

    • @Bluemax
      "If you care about the rejector, you'll stay friends."
      It's usually women who say that, and I believe that is more common than "If you care about the rejected, you'll let him/her go." because women are obviously going to be more sympathetic towards the female side of it.

      Also I believe women aren't as likely to end up in the "friendzone" so they can't really relate to it as much. Women are more likely to end up in the "friends with benefits zone" .

  • Dude I'm the friendshipzone King. I've been friendzoned more times than Charlee sheen has had sex🤗😶...

    Anyway..

    It's the guys fault. It's based on common false dating advice: "just be yourself and love will happen, or will find you, or you will know" etc.

    So a guy falsely believes that if he is cool around the girl he likes, something will happen. Obviously it doesn't and you become that guy who thinks you are doing the right thing and she isn't.

    So once you realise this a guy has two choices: 1) accept that you are friends only and that you are not attractive in that way to her ( like the majority of men on this planet) 2) if that's going to hurt you. Go away. The problem with this choice though is that if you are truly friends, she will will be pretty pissed that you disappear because you came have her that way. I've had. That happen to me too.

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  • Simply put yourself in the same position. You're suddenly being approached by a girl who obviously is being more friendly with you than others, she's flirting a bit, but she's just not attractive to you in the slightest. You'd probably feel awkward and feel sad that you have to disappoint someone who is being a great friend to you. It's a situation that is bound to have awkward moments, and many times people just don't know how to handle it and hesitate.

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  • img.buzzfeed.com/.../...uzz-26750-1361856372-1.jpg

    This pretty much sums it up. Hehehe.
    And no, I dont have this pic in an uncensored version...

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  • girls are addicted to attention, even if its from a a guy they're not attracted. Hence why they want guy friends

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    • Actually the only reason I have guy friends only is because with guys there is no drama with girls there is always drama about anything, guys accept you as you are with girls, you have to make sure you follow the right trends. When I had girls as friends and didn't follow their style they'd call me a slut until I changed my outfits. Regarding friend zone a guy friend zoned me for saying no to sex so it really is not for attention.

  • yeah, you say you wish you could find someone who is just like us... we're right here

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