For now I still want a dominant figure for a guy?

In lebanon usually men are seen as the providor and head of the family. You find women here to be a bit spoiled in some ways I have to admit.
Now I noticed for a while now that I need a sort off authoritarian partner and I need him to be quite doninant. Like I prefer him to lead on and so...
Buuuut I know that s not great haha and I am trying to wire myself to not think that way anymore. It won t do me any good to be dependant in some way. So I keep teaching myself the cons and all haha.
So sort off the question here is the critic.
Who can relate? Who a for? Who is against? And why?
Thanks in advance haha✌


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are fighting against biology though. It is perfectly normal for women to desire a strong man. The problem here is not that it exists per se, but that your desire goes overboard (might be your difficult relation to your father, your culture, etc.).

    There is a difference between someone leading and someone dominating, a difference between letting someone lead and subjugating yourself.

    This picture - while in a different context - sums it up perfectly:

    media.licdn.com/.../...iMmE0LTdlMGMwN2I4ZGU2ZQ.jpg

    So you should first figure out what YOU really want. Equality doesn't work, but equal giving does. Both partners can and should give and put equally much into a relationship and yet give different things. The notion of "we are complete equals" is a farce and just doesn't work - especially sexually it makes the bedroom a "sleep only"-area.

    The next question after figuring out what you really want is WHY you want that. As I said - wanting a naturally strong, leading man is perfectly normal for a woman to want, but wanting an authoritarian partner not so much. So where does the discrepancy come from? The father example was one I gave already, insecurities could be another reason. Also you trying so hard to not want that could make you want it even more.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can want whatever you want girl, I always advise women keep a level of personal independence for her own sake and sanity but if that's the guy you want, get er'.

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    • yea yea it s not like I don t have any character or goals haha

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 31

  • I've never quite liked the outright "man dominates" dynamic. Personally i think the best is when the man is a rock and an absolute tower of confidence and power which she can depend on yet fully explore her own person/pursuits. He does not dominate her because he doesn't need to, instead she CHOOSES to tie herself to him.

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    • yea I think I didn t word it correctly haha
      it s not like I have no character or any goals of my own haha
      I just prefer him to be solid

  • You can still be a strong woman and have a dominant male partner in your life. You just have to be careful who you choose. Or someone that will take the lead in the more important and dangerous/threatening situations, but then other times you share the lead. It all depends on your level of handing over control.

    Or... You can have the sub roll behind closed doors. Mmmm you'd be fun tied up.

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  • Why on earth would you want to wire yourself to not want a strong dominant partner? It's kind of what we as men as there for at least that is what and how we were intended to be.

    There is nothing wrong with wanting an assertive, dominant and strong partner who's a leader in a relationship. any woman worth her salt wants that, no one wants a sissy or a pansy.

    And if your worried about a dominant guy being a douche I can assure you there are plenty of dominant but kind and respectful men still in the world.

    And we as men are inherently wired to act that way to be leaders, strong, dominant etc.

    So I'm for it, it's the natural of things and it is how I was raised no issues with being the leader in a relationship or spoiling my girl to a degree.

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  • Actually you have it right, it's the way men and women work best. Western culture, in particular the feminist, have declared they don't want this, and then realize it really is what they want. Women want a strong man to protect them and care for them, a guy that can lead, and make decisions. She takes care of him and he to her. Without this the relationship gets all out of balance and fails. And no one is happy.
    Evidently Lebanese culture is traditional and that's a good thing - don't negate it.

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  • If I were you and I was having issues on deciding what personality traits I wanted in a partner, I'd just resort to going with the flow. If I end up with someone more submissive (which I as a male prefer) then so be it. If not, then not. No biggie.

    Focusing on getting one or the other will not always work as life has a way of surprising you in regards to the people you meet.

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  • Why don't you just go for the dominant guy if thats want your instincts make you want. Otherwise if you end up with a guy who is less dominant than you would have really prefered you won't be as attracted to him and potentially more tempted to cheat.

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  • I dont see what the issue is here. Just being a dominant person doesn't mean we rule with an iron fist and what we think and say goes and your input is meaningless. We will take the lead on decisions and be ahead of the family but any good partner will seek input from the other one. We aren't going to control you.

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  • If that's what you seek in a partner then who is anyone to tell you that's wrong. Don't let feminist ruin that for you. You're more than entitled to your preferences. My girlfriend is exact same way as you in that way. She knows what she wants and I know what I want. It works. Not many women out there want a indecisive boy. They want a man who can make decisions and take the lead.

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  • I think if you fight your natural instinct your relationship just won't work. Doesn't matter what it is.

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  • It certainly depends on your personality: one person likes to be independant while another wants guidance.
    I think I could like with a dominant lady, as long as she's not the type of person who thinks that only her opinion is relavant.
    So if one day I visit Lebanon and hear a girl say "YES SIR!" it's you for sure :D

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  • You seem quite dominant already. So you want a guy more dominant than you, which is the natural order of things. I just hope you don't find a cunt :)

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    • Exactly that.
      And yea I am just afraid I ll get attached to a douche lol

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    • None senseπŸ˜‚

    • Nonsense** πŸ˜›πŸ˜›

  • Lol , Being an Arabic guy I understand Well , I have no problem to support my girl and spoil her.. But I would prefer she has a career and a dependent personality.. It sounds healthier for the relationship coz after being so dependent for a while she would turn into a crazy and a sochiopathic person , Lol, .. Any way generally I would be ok with any thing makes my family happy ..

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  • Don't fight your instinct and desires for what society, ESPECIALLY people on Gag want. Most people are miserable. If you want a real man who'll care for you and spank you on the regular, you go for that. Just remember to have an education as a backup plan (I'm sure you do already). If that's how Lebanon is, I'm guessing even the guys are authoritative and providors. Also a guy being a providor doesn't make him much more likely to be a douche. Go for the kinda guy you like. If you find a douche, the fault is most likely *not* in your preference.

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  • I don't want a spoilt or expensive girlfriend or to be seen as controlling by other pepole and financially it may or may not make sense for me to be the main earner if it gets serious and the practical side of things matters.

    But I may well like deciding what she wore or didn't around the house and what we do in bed if she said she wanted me to be dominant.

    You should keep some level of independence though like obviosly you should both have to agree on any big financial decisions.

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  • Why is it not great?

    Regardless of the way left-wing liberal progressives try to brainwash you, a male is wired always to inherently be better at leading/dominantly for the most part.

    There are exceptions, and these get phased out of society for the most part, up until the last 30-50 years it seems.

    This is not implying women are lesser than men, simply that a man is better suited to be a leader or to be more authoritative.

    Similarly, there are plenty a women is better at than man.

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  • You need a lion of lebanon πŸ˜‰little wink to mister Samir Banout a great athlete which I admire very much (but it will be a bit too much for a woman I believe)

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  • I want a female partner to be my best friend (not to be a submissive person who always wants me to lead her?

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  • i just think thats the way things were meant to be to some extent, women can still be progressive but want men to be a dominant figure there's nothing wrong with that

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  • Honestly the older I get, the more I want her to be submissive, I'm still open to it being neutral but couldn't stand being with a dominant female because of character clash

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  • Hahaha! Love it! :P

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  • For sure girl every real women do, noone wants a penny/sissy boy who can't talk and have no balls 😎 Congrats u understood that bahah.

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  • why are you thinking of not getting a dominant man anymore?

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  • Find someone dominant

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  • I'm against it. I think they had it right in Lebanon.

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  • I'm from the USA but i like Women who are dominant
    But it's whatever you like in a relationship.

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  • girls love dominance, i remember when i was fucking a girl (the only lay ever tbh) , she wanted me to choke her while i was penetrating her lol.

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  • I think it's good that you know what you want, So yes I think you do need a dominant man.

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  • Okay. You want an Alpha Male. Nothing wrong with that choice.

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  • ok, and?

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  • Ok, the only thing I can relate to here is - I want a dominant figure for a girl ;)

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What Girls Said 13

  • Don't try to be someone you are not. It just... will never work out lol. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a dominant type of guy... that doesn't mean you just give up at life and don't educate yourself or learn a trade... My education and career are very important to me but I definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY want a dominant sort of guy. It's what I'm attracted to, no point pretending. I don't think about it as needing someone to depend on... but just knowing that I have a rock beside me.

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  • Wait, wait, wait. :*

    You can have a dominant partner and STILL be independent and not dependent. It's a semi-thin line but it's there.

    When you're in a social gathering or certain places in public, remain separate people.

    When you can't decide what to wear some days, ask him to pick. Then, go off and pretend like you run the world. ^-^ I've had a little bit of practice.

    If you like this, why fight it?

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  • If that's what you want, then that's what you want. There's nothing wrong with that. You're going to end up being unhappy with him (and him with you probably) if he's not dominant like you prefer. That said, yes, you shouldn't become dependent on him for everything. It's good to have your own life, your own friends, your own hobbies, etc... God forbid you two break up and you're left by yourself, not knowing how to live in the world without him.

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  • I am attracted to both submissive and dominant men but deep down I want to share my life with dominant man. Not because I like to be dominated but because I need a strong back for when I am weak. I would prefer dominant man who could be submissive sometimes. I don't know is it possible?

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  • I want a dominant man. In India it's the same way, men take the lead, make the decisions and are dominant. I find that completely sexy and that is what I'm looking for, but instead I'm finding lots of guys who are indecisive and submissive and man, is that the biggest turn off.

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  • Why do you think you need to change that?

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    • because in a social contect, between my friends I always try to prove my presence and sort off take the lead.
      but I don t want the same with a partner... I prefer someone solid but I don t want stopping challenging myself and improving in the end. In the other side, when you have a strong figure you can rely on, you sometimes take the habit of depending on him more than yourself. so I am just scared my self improvment will dimish after a relationship.

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    • having what you like in a guy doesn't mean you have to compromise yourself... you just have to find the right guy, to challenge you and still letting you pursue your own life

    • Hah sry for some typos πŸ˜›
      And yea you re right ✌

  • Main problem is if you split. If you don't have an independent income, you are lost. Certainly if your country lacks a good social network.

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    • ah no I am still counting to work.
      studying architecture here

  • I'm with you. There's something insanely hot about a man that's dominating and a gentleman still. Get you a man that can do both like me. 😎

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  • Being half Arabian myself, I like things to be traditional.

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  • It's not as uncommon as you think. Almost all women want a dominant boyfriend. Congratulations, you're just like everyone else.

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  • I don't know why you are fighting against your instincts. As long as authoritarian doesn't equate to controlling.

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  • i can relate. akid u want a dominant guy, 5ususan if you're hard headed, badik 7adan hek yseffik kaf w yerja3 yboosik hahaha. a5555 7elme wallah hahaha

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  • It's not bad... it's what you want. I get it though... it's what I also want in a partner.

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