I'm a successful, attractive guy. However some of my personal issues are making me give off a "bad vibe" to women. Any strategies to stay positive?

So I recently got out of a 9 month relationship with a much younger girl. I tried to make it GF/BF but she really was more of a fuck buddy. It was lots of fun and she was the first to say "I love you" but towards the end of the relationship I started being more open about my issues/insecurities. I never did anything over the top, but it definitely turned her off. She ended up completely ghosting me with no warning at all.

Anyway I make good money, am very athletic, adventurous and told by many people that I'm a attractive man. However I've known for years that a man's attitude/personality is numbero uno for scoring women. But I've had some issues happen recently. Besides the breakup my parents are also talking about getting in a divorce after 36 years of marriage (which is impacting the entire family). My work has also been very stressful lately.

Two weeks ago I ended up going on 4 dates with a girl closer to my age. She was very interested at first, texted me everyday and didn't flake out on anything. However she also never offered pay for anything (1st/2nd are fine... but 3rd/4th?). We made out a bit, but she blocked me from doing anything waist down. The last date was frankly terrible. Despite my best efforts, planning, trying to joke around and wear a smile she absolutely showed no affection at all. I was also getting pissed that she was mooching off me. I think she only wanted some free meal tickets and some male attention, nothing else. I stopped contacting her completely.

Anyway these are all just setbacks, I know. However I want to have the right attitude towards women. Any strategies to stay positive?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • From what you said I don't find anything wrong with you! And I really don't get the girls who wait for those "free dinners", first date okay, but I personally feel super uncomfortable when someone is paying for me all the time, she could have cooked you at least dinner or something. I also would have done more after 4 dates, especially if I'm attracted to the man. And I also know how the men change when they are under a lot of pressure so I prefer to give him a little bit of personal space. You seem like a nice guy and it shouldn't be a problem for you to find a girl. The only advice I can possibly give you is - no matter how busy you are or how many problems you have , don't let them stop you from finding or keeping a girl.

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    • I HATE the word "nice guy" so please don't use it lol. Thanks though. I was careful not to pursue this last girl too much. I usually let her text first. However I do feel lead on and used. I was expecting sex on the 4th date (or least a strong signal it was going to happen). She was completely self absorbed and didn't even smile once although she acted excited to go on the date.

      I've gotten smarter over the years to identify freeloaders but I think this girl has gotten smarter too with her setups. If she hadn't texted me so much I would have ditched her a long time ago.

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    • You can take a break , yes, but I'm sure that if you find a decent girl you won't fail!

    • Please keep up your good attitude. Some women change when they get older and it's not always for the better

Most Helpful Guy

  • Best to date someone closer to your age. I presume girls you dated were around my age so it won't work for you. If you are looking for a solid relationship then women around your age is a better option.

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    • ironically the last girlfriend I had was 21 but she was actually very giving and fair. She cooked meals for me, offered to pay for some of them, bought my surprise and bday gifts etc.

      The last girl I went on dates with was 30 and she was freeloader. Some women actually get worse with age. However this girl was also clever enough to fool me into thinking she was interested. She texted me all the time.

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    • Maybe not the second date but third. I am a bit more stingy when it comes to dating. The more you pay for them the worse it gets. Sure you will get laid but not a relationship and they will start feeling entitled to you paying for them and even if you get married later on don't forget to sign a prenuptial agreement only if she has a inferior financial status to you.

    • Well after the 3rd date any thoughts of long term went out the window because I was picking up on her behavior. However I was thinking I could get my consolation prize (get laid) on date number 4. It did feel like that was going to happen but I was completely lead on and wrong.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes because whenever dating doesn't lead to a relationship it's because a girl is mooching off the guy...

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    • it's mooching of the girl keeps expecting free meals/entertainment after the 1-2nd date (and she is not giving me any signals she's physically interested). I don't expect sex immediately, but I DO expect the girl to show that its going to happen and she's interested in me.

    • also expecting men to pay for dating is something women rights activist conveniently omit from their arguments.

What Guys Said 1

  • Wish I was a successful good looking guy.😔

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    • it doesn't guarantee success with women. I was professional athlete and a promo model. It helped me hook up occasionally but average looking guys who were way more funny/confident then me pulled much more ass. Focus on your personality.

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