Be honest; would herpes be a deal breaker for you, even if the person didn't get it by being promiscuous?

I've been with two men my entire life. The second didn't tell me that he had it.

Updates:
Everyone hears genital herpes and immediately sees you as some kind of pariah, even if you aren't promiscuous, even if you haven't had an outbreak in years since the primary one, even if you take medication that makes transmission rates less than 1%.
It's depressing. Herpes is not fatal, and once you have the primary outbreak something like 80% of people NEVER have a second.
But the stigma reigns.
I'm not interested in advice or judgement. It's a yes/no question, thank you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Herpes is one of those stds thats sneaky as fuck. It can lay dormant for years. It like hides itself in the cells of your body. Its why it can't be cured as of yet.

    Knowing now what you said about the transmission rates. No it wouldn't be a deal breaker. However, I'd really want to make sure I want to be with this woman. I'd have to think about it for sure for awhile.

    Did you ever sue the dude that gave it to you? I would of lmao. We live in a sue happy society. can't beat them join them๐Ÿ˜‚

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Most Helpful Girl

  • no it is not

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Depends if I have high chances of getting it too, if I get physical with her. If so, then yeah I probably wouldn't be with her.

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    • I take medication daily that makes transmission rates less than 1%, and that along with condoms makes it drop even farther to.05% what would you say to that?

    • Well... if I was compatible with you in other ways and had an emotional connection (sorry, I don't do hookups or casual sex), then I wouldn't have an issue at all.

  • Would you like some syphilis too?

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  • Yes. Even with all that it's a risk. And it's for life. The best thing to do is seek other people with similar conditions instead of spreading it to someone else and giving them that burden. It's unfair that you got it but how would you feel knowing that you gave it to someone else?

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    • To be honest, I wouldn't feel guilty. It's no worse than the chicken pox. But everyone has a right to decide for themselves if they want to take on the risk.

    • Show All
    • Just seemed like you were.

    • You probably shouldn't assume then, should you? I absolutely think it's an aversion based in ignorance, but I used to hold the same beliefs that herpes was 'dirty' and 'whores got it' and that it was some terrible, debilitating disease. But then I got it and educated myself.
      Regardless, I'm not going to get bent out of shape if someone doesn't want to sleep with me lol. I've had plenty of people still willing, herpes and all.

  • Yes. I've seen pictures of genital herpes.
    cdn.sheknows.com/.../deal_breaker_stds.jpg

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    • Photos you'd see on the internet are always horrific worst case scenario types, just so you know. The typical herpes outbreak is a handful of small sores and nothing more.
      But you're entitled to your standards. :) Lol at the pic!

  • Get yourself tested for HIV. Herpes doesn't mean HIV but herpes can increase the risk of HIV. I think you need to give more attention to your medical condition rather than what is deal breaker and what is not and also you are hanging around with wrong guys.

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    • I've been tested for everything. It's just herpes, thank you, which is really no worse than the chicken pocks. I'm on top of my health. STI's don't discriminate between good and bad people. It's not my fault I contracted it, it's the person who gave it to me, who I was with for 3 months, who didn't disclose because he thought the stigma was greater than the chance of transmission.

      I'm not asking you to judge me I'm simply asking a yes or no question.

  • Yup.

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  • Yes.

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What Girls Said 2

  • depends on the type of herpes

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  • Yes, for me

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