Guys, He pulls away, how do I move from here?

Everything was fine, he said we were on the way to get serious, then he turned cold the next day. I pretended it was fine for a few days and finally asked if the problem is me or something else. He said it is something else and we'll see each other as soon as he deals with it and has time. I think the problem is that his feelings changed as I have the impression he returned on tinder. No contact for 3 days, then I had to send him some info he asked for last week. I just talked about the info, I did not ask when we were going to see each other again at all and he freely talked about seeing each other again as soon as he has time. Though he cut the conversation. He did not ask how I was doing, he then added 'have a nice day'. I feel being led on and I hate this feeling. I like him very much, so I would like him to say clearly he does not want to see me anymore. I prefer it to what he is doing right now. How can I be upfront without pushing him further if I am wrong about my assumptions?


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What Guys Said 1

  • first of all i can say you have a pretty much cool mature point of view ovet this situation. you can see pretty clearly how things are. but... sometimes things like this just happen and... the best you can do is just talk honestly about how you feel. usually i respond the same way the other person does. but this depends only on you how you wanna do things. because this is what he could or may not like about you. there is one certain thing though, that its very questionable this no talk for 3 days thing. there shouldn't be any effort by any of you to make things work. i think its not your fault at all in this, but if you really want, you can wait a little more to see what he does. if you dont wanna wait you can just tell him how you feel about this. i think both ways work since things should come easy if its a real thing serious there :) but in the worst case, you should just say what you have to say and then if he isn't clear about it, move on.

    • Thank you for your kind reply. Instead of torturing me any further, I just asked. I started saying I don't blame him for not having time and wanting to work through his stuff. Problems happen and if he needs space, I will take a step back and give it to him. Nonetheless, I wanted him to know that I have feelings for him and that is why I took it slow. I believe he was honest when he said 'we'll see each other when I'll have the time' however lately he gave me mixed signals so I was wondering how I should take it. I also said that I do not wish to put him under more pression but that I felt the need to be honest. No reply from him.

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    • It's already been two and a half weeks since she came back and I think by now he has made his decision. He just told me this Monday he is confused but since she appeared out of the blue he does not talk to me like he did once. I guess this is the answer and no way he'll be back.

    • well yea but it doesn't mean it's bad for you :)

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