I cannot touch people without asking permission first. Is this an acceptable way to go about courting girls?

I have autism, I have very high respect for people's boundaries and.. I think it's extremely rude to touch someone without asking permission, unless you have a close relationship of some degree with them.

And yet, this appears to be how the vast majority of people get into relationships.. which I feel puts me at a striking disadvantage. I'm very principled, and I can't change this about myself. I can't touch people if I don't know it's okay first.

So, my question is, is it okay to have a principle of always having to ask before I hold a girls hand or kiss her? Only, I'm aware there is a belief that most girls enjoy spontaneity, being grabbed and kissed spontaneously, as long as there is mutual attraction. See the thing is I can't know unless I ask. One of the most difficult things about being autistic is not being able to read people. Literally having to ask people how they are feeling, feel about something, regularly.

Will this make me a boring guy who's too nice and polite, not exciting enough? It did with this one girl, but she had major issues of a much more complex degree.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that's cute. It comes off as you being old-fashioned, which many girls do like.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Most Helpful Guy

  • As someone who probably is a high functioning autism myself... I always abided by this rule. So when I did get into relationships, I always told them at first.. It made it easier for them, to initiate. I always missed the signals, always.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's respectable and polite and will serve you well in this day and age.

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  • Yeh it's okay. Makes you seem like a nice guy! I don't think that any girl would mind that...

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What Guys Said 1

  • " acceptable way to go about courting girls?" sometimes you don't need to be that formal 😊 like for example here... you're between friends, you can relax and be sure you're way of being is completely fine. cheer up and relax

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