My boyfriend doesn't do a lot for me for Valentine's day, but he did for his ex. Is it stupid for me to feel jealous about it?

He dated a girl before me for only 3 months and they weren't close at all, but Valentine's came around and he got her roses, a teddy bear, chocolates, and a card. It was a big day for him, he was excited about it.

This is our third year together, the first two Valentine's we didn't get to be together - for different very valid reasons. I took days making him a thoughtful gift the first year and we celebrated a couple days before instead. He bought me a cupcake. I honestly don't remember the second year, because we really didn't celebrate at all. He just didn't really care. This year he has work.

I know that he loves me. He does special little things for me on random days which is awesome! But this is my first relationship and I kind of was looking forward to actually celebrating a traditional Valentine's day with someone that I love. Even if it's celebrated on a different day...

I don't want to be self-centered, superficial, or make a big deal out of nothing. But is it wrong of me to be a bit hurt? I think he just feels like I know he loves me so he doesn't need to do all that, whereas that other relationship mentioned previously wasn't going great so he was trying to make a grand gesture... But if he did all that for a girl he didn't really even like all that much why wouldn't he do the same or more for me?


0|0
22

Most Helpful Guy

  • You have a right to feel how you feel. I do think he feels he got you and he doesn't have to go all out on Valentine's day for you. That is not right. Since this is your first relationship he should at least put some effort in the day by either getting you roses, candy and even a teddy bear.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know this may seem hard to believe but maybe he doesn't go all over the top because he actually tries to make a effort ALL the time and not just on one day. It's easier to just pick one day out of a year and to buy all these stuff than to commit to someone for year (s) and make a effort all the time. He may think you deserve more than just one day to be thrown with gifts. Maybe he wants to treat you all the time and not just make it a goal to pick one day to do so. Also, there's a possibility that his ex was the one who put immense pressure on him to do that. She may have given those ideas to him which he just obliged to do doing. It doesn't mean he actually wanted to do.. some girls plant their ideas into their partner's mind and she could have made it clear what she wanted and then he just did it to make her happy but not cause he actually wanted to..

    I think you should try to see it from different perspectives. He obviously loves you cause he is with you and he still seems to make a effort and be special with you. If you want a awesomely romantic day, tell him you want this! Tell him you want this big day filled with love and while yes, he may need to work, tell him you want to spend time on the weekend and recreate Valentine's day. You cannot expect him to just know what you want even if you think it should be obvious (this is very important in a relationship). So be clear and then see his response. If you want your special Valentine's then you need to tell him so that he can help to make it happen.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • well, he may love you a lot more and show it all year and not need to have a special day to show it? 3 months, vs 3 years? obviously there's something special about you.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • It's kinda stupid he probably grew out of the phase

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...