Dating is going horrible, should I take that as a sign that im not a person thats dateble?




So i seem to face these issues when it comes to dating:

- I rarely meet anyone im interested in (maybe 1-3 times a year), if i do find someone im interested either: 1. He is taken, 2. I haven't actually talked to him that much, and if we do meet we dont really talk and dont really have a reason for it either. we recongnize eachother and might say hi when we see eacother, but we dont have any mutual friends or anything like that 3. we end up going on a date, but it ends aftert the first or second date.

- I dont have the conficene to approach the guys i do find interesting

- The guys who are interested, are guys im not very interested in at all

I dont really know if i should just give up dating, or not.. maybe im just not ment to date? anyone lese experience this and can give me some advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe you're like me and simply just hate dating in general. I've been single for a long time, not for this reason alone, but it's a BIG one. I hate it. Nothing fun or enjoyable about it to me. So I don't even approach or ask women out. Exactly the same for me, women I like are always taken, and women that like me I have no interest in. But, I'm happy being single, even prefer it.

    But, maybe for you, you just have to keep trying. I'd suggest working on your confidence. More and more I believe women NEED to approach guys now. Especially ones THEY are interested in. Not wait for guys to do it.

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    • i have approaching guys in the past and from experience if a guy isn't activly showing interest and/or approaches me he isn't interested. I know this isn't apply for every guy out there, but i dont need to confidence crushed at this point in my life lol I like going on dates, but i dont like the part where i have to make an effort to show interest and stuff like that lol But i know that the end result most likely worth it, so i try my best to make it work

    • A lot of guys feel the exact same way... and yet, we're "expect" to make the first move all the time.

Most Helpful Girl

  • There is no such thing as "not meant" to date. You have just been unlucky. That doesn't mean that's going to be your situation forever. You need to relax.

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    • how do you know that? i mean some people are good at sports, others dont, the people that have great problesm doing well in sports should mayeb realise it and try for something else, right?

    • What does being good at sports or other activities have to do with dating? That's like comparing a tomato with an orange.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • "I rarely meet anyone im interested in"
    That is because of your numbers.

    How many new men do you cross paths with in a typical week? M
    What percent of those are in your dating age range? R
    What percent are straight and eligible? E
    What percent of those do you find attractive? A
    What percent of them finds you attractive? B
    What percent of those is there a conversation that gets initiated? I
    What percent of those work out? W

    T is how long it takes (weeks if M is per week)

    You may have others, but you get the idea. Your number N (T x M) is how many guys you have to come across to find one to get together with.

    Here is the formula. To find N, substitute N for T x M and solve.

    T x M x R x E x A x B x I x W >= 1

    Since you said by the time you get to I in a year, none work out, the product of these numbers for you (with T=52) is less than one. You aren't hitting N in a year.

    You have to change your formulary. You can do that by increasing M in your life or lowering your standards (increases A).

    You can also look online, where instead of T x M, you will have just P, the number of profiles you view. E becomes almost 100%.

    If you pick the site that has guys looking for girls like you, then you will be successful.

    For example, if I had to meet someone randomly in my current daily life, T would have to be about 4 years to get the product up to 1. There are places I can go to change that. I know a couple of places where to get to 1, T is 4 hours because M is big, R is big, E is big, A is big and B is big. I have also had a different lifestyle in the past that involved a much higher M in daily life. Online, I don't count how many profiles I go through, maybe about 200, but for about 2 hours a day of browsing and contacting, it takes about 4 days to find someone on the sites I use.

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  • Nah don't give up on dating. This is what dating is for. Your not gonna meet. The greatest guy ever the first time you date. Dating is like trying to guess a bolt or nut size. You may think it's a 9/16 do you grab a 9/16 from your toolbox and nope doesn't fit. You keep trying till something fits. Or shopping for clothes. Or porridge being tooo hot or too cold. Thata dating. Your trying to find the right person. Its not a one time end all.

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  • And how do you know that your are not interested in the guys who show interest in you? Is it always guys who you already know?
    I suggest you lower your standards a bit otherwise you will end up alone and depressed. You find a man that cares about you and loves you. Can you imagine that? What would be the problem?

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  • It just means either your bar is set too high, or you need to be patient.

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    • I know it seems simplistic, but you're actually going Horus he normal process of being selective.

    • *through the

    • i doubt its the first one, even though people have told me i have to high standars, which i do disagree with lol Maybe i should just be a bit more patient then

  • I am sorry to hear that... You need to be honest with them to tell them its not working out since both of you don't " Click" I hope that guy understand. I had some problem with NEW friends too. ( red flags)

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  • how about give people you don't think you're interested in a shot? that's worked for me with girls a couple times. also, don't expect people you're interested in to approach you 100% of the time. make a move. lack of confidence is an excuse, not a reason. if you don't approach it's the same as them saying no

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  • Well you do seem to face the same issues I got, but I think most people do.

    Take some chances, write with people online to get a feel about talking and forming relations.

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  • everyone is dateable they just need to find the right person

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  • No, keep looking...

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  • your just shy and a bit unlucky. you should never give up on relationships.

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  • could I go on a date with you anonymous? are you picky?

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  • No, just practice

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  • Time to change up some things and step outside of your shell.

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  • Sounds more like wrong venues to me
    take some dance classes where guys/gals change partners, then go out to practice and you'll social life will begin to overwhelm you

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  • You said, "The guys who are interested, are guys im not very interested in at all". So my question is "what are you interested in"? What are you looking for? Or do you even know?

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  • Would you be interested in going on a date with me and I don't care if your picky or not

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What Girls Said 2

  • lol, my boyfriend apparently went on/dated at least 40 women before me. I hung out with his friends and they said they were surprised he got a serious girlfriend.

    Dating is extremely frustrating at times. You think you go on an awesome date, and the guy never calls or texts you back (even after you have called and texted them). Or, there's this guy that is head over heels for you and although you feel shallow you just don't like him. Sometimes you go months without a single date.

    Honestly, my advice is to be more open about going on dates with guys you aren't totally interested in. Of course, if you are uninterested for serious red flag reasons don't go lol. Also, if you feel like you aren't getting enough opportunities to meet people, maybe try getting out there more! Go to bars, clubs, etc. Or, you could even try dating apps. Everyone hates on Tinder but honestly I liked that it was free and fast to use. But there's lots of other dating apps, too. The cool part is you get to meet some cool and interesting people!

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    • Wasn't it a turn off, dealbreaker that he was rejected 40 times?

    • @what1234 Nope. And it wasn't that he got rejected 40 times. 40 is a compilation of women breaking it off with him, him breaking it off with women, and mutual decisions in not seeing each other again because one was moving or something. He didn't have sex with all of them either

  • no , just that you need a break. The fact you want to make this into a victim situation shows you probably need more time to find your self worth before dating

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