Do you prefer small talk or open and honest on a first date?

I suck at dating lol I don't like boring small talk on dates.. I want to get to know somebody, what makes them tick.
I've been told that its a turn off to talk about the deep stuff on a first date? like their childhood, passions, etc..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To some extent you have to mirror the conversation of the other person but you can't be afraid of giving a fuller deeper impression of yourself if you are that sort of person. Personally I love a girl that can express herself and show a deeper emotional side too. Keeping everything on the surface almost feels like a pretence but launching into solo's about deep and meaningful emotions and waffling on are massive turn offs. Best adobe is to keep things light flirty and fun ( if you like the person ) and hint at a deeper emotional intellect :)

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What Guys Said 21

  • To me, "deep stuff" would be your deeper life philosophies (more serious talks about your religious beliefs if you have them), personal politics, serious mistakes and suffering from your past, stuff like that. Childhoods and passions are pretty basic things.

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  • Open and honest. I hate small talk, it's boring, and it really leads nowhere.
    The best date I had was with this girl who was quite open and honest; it felt like we knew each other for a while already.

    I mean, try not to get too depressing, like if you went through a very rough childhood, you don't need to go in full detail yet. The date is supposed to be to get to know each other, but also to have fun.

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  • Going on dates suck. However, if going on a date, which most consider serious, small talk should be off limits. Going on a date is like going on a interview, something both guys and girls need to be prepared for. Small talking on a date, is like saying, he or she is not really important and feel more like just a acquaintance. Now if not on a date, thats different, since neither was prepared and probably just don't know what to say and may not want the other to lose interest, so they stay talkative, rather than risk losing the other person, due to lack of being talkative. Of course, it can go either way in the small talk scenario without being on a date.

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  • honest talk but dont pour out your entire life story in one night thats kinda weird

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  • I much rather have a deep conversation then small talk I think most people will feel the same. Small talk is for co workers and peers not for someone you want to connect with. If a girl opens up to me on a first date i would take that as a good sign that she already feels comfortable around me and we'll get along just fine. You don't have to spill the beans on your deepest darkest secrets but talking about your passions is absolutely acceptable

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  • Open and honest, as long as the details aren't too personal. I can't stand dates with just small talk. They usually lead to awkward silences and the conversation feels forced.

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  • I agree with you 100%. I like deep and honest convos. I need to know if we have chemistry or not. And I can't do that with small stupid conversations. I feel like I'm wasting My time doing so.

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  • I hate small talk, I'd prefer something more substantial, otherwise do something that doesn't require much talking.

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  • honest talk but not too deep, i had an awesome first date where we talked about funny sex stories and farting almost the whole date and we had a blast lol

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  • Well I like deep conversations and I suck at smalltalk. But I don't like a FAQ kind of conversation so more like a random topic about something I can see with my eyes atm or something I could imagine through the recent being around me.

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  • I'm fine with open and honest. I want to figure out who I'm dealing with and find any red flags ASAP.

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  • I don't got time for small talk so I would want to get to know the person right there and then so open and honest

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  • Both! We have to be open and honest with the small talk.

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  • Comfortable talk

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  • Prefer open and honest deep communication on the first date.

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  • Who told u that?

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  • small talks are for acquaintances, not your significant others.

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  • one first date dnt ask about details and personal stuff.
    Just enjoy what you dream with a guy.

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  • Open all the way , no guess work

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  • small talk is how it starts unless you want to go on a date right Now? are you female?

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  • small talk thanks

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