Hi there! My boyfriend with whom I was for about 6 months was imprisoned on 25 January 2017 under a conviction of driving without a license and assault. What he basically did was driving a tractor to a disco and beating the shit out of a guy with a chain. He said that he was sweet on a girl, just dating her, that was before he even knew me, and the other guy actually wounded that girl ' s leg with a glass shard from a bottle he brake. He also said that when he saw her bleeding he felt like killing the guy, but instead he put him in the hospital. Now what he thought was that he is forbidden to enter that locality for a number of years. What actually happened was that he was filed, prosecuted, judged and convicted in absence to 1 year and 2 moths with a possibility for parole after 6 months if he works, or about 9 months if he doesn ' t but has good behavior. First I twisted myself into knots, cried my eyes out, squeezed the last dime for him and did all possible to help and support him in prison, to get over this period as fast as possible, but when I wanted to visit him, he was reluctant at first, because, well, because I 'm transgender and he didn ' t want the prison staff to know it ( my ID change is still in the process of transition, I need more documents that will take a bit of time ), and, after he finally accepted, and I visited him once, giving him all I could, he called me again a few days later and told me not to visit him again, at east until he ' ll be moved to the minimum security prison, because some people found out about it and he doesn ' t want it. Now this pissed me off to no end. Aside from the frustration of not knowing about him, to be insulted like that and be told that he ' s embarrassed by my status, when he knew what he was getting into, and when he knew my ID change will take time and all the statements he made, all this is a bit too much for me to take. So should I wait for him or leave him?
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Hello dear, it is a very hard situation to be honest BUT i am being much more understanding than others who replied ,,, I dont suggest that you leave him,, really, you seem deeply in love and it will only break your heart to pieces if you left him. In my opinion he is not necessarily a bad person.. it happens that guys get into violent fights that end in a bad way specially defending someone who they care about,,, i thought about it for a moment, and i truly believe that my boyfriend would have done absolutely the same if that girl was me or his best friend or sister.. he did before, and he is the kindest person on earth. About his embarrassment, i kinda understand that too,,, he must be in a very drastic state now, knowing that he has to at least work hard for 6 months with violent bastard around him, i get that in the word of prisons it is about power, and bulling ,, if you will be a pussy, or if people have something against you THEY WILL GIVE YOU THE HARDEST TIME EVER ,,, for example, even if he was in a gay relationship, or if someone's mother is a dancer,,, etc,,, they will wait for something like that and have fun bullying and annoying you,,, even beating you when u get angry about it.,,,, so i understand why wouldn't he want those bastards to know, and i feel it doesn't have anything to do with accepting you or not loving you,,,, and i saw your previous comments where u said how he always supported you and loved you ,,, so for me , i think you shall give it a chance and by the way ,,, my boyfriend who is 30 years now, has been imprisoned times before :D , one because he bit someone who slapped his ex girlfriend, and one because of drugs when he was a young crazy teen. And, i absolutely love him, he is so kind, caring and respectable that sometimes i dont even believe he was jailed before we met. So, since you are craving people's acceptance and chance as a transgender,,,, also give this guy a chance,,, keep yourself busy for those 6 month, take lessons, or work hard to save money, and see what will happen.. but you gotta encourage him to make it only 6 months,,, lastly, the threat about killing your parents is a bit too much ,,, but again, maybe they are just words,,, and him saying he would kill himself is maybe be because he really loves you,,, my only advice will be if in the future any of these violent comments became real leave him, and take care of yourself,,, but so far, give him a chance :)1
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