Do you keep your options open while seeing someone?

I'm kinda seeing someone at the moment and I really like him, I don't want to date other people it just doesn't feel right to me and I feel like it would make things more complicated.. I think he might be keeping his options open though and it makes me feel like crap, I know he is still single.. but it would end up crushing me even more if he chose someone else. I've noticed he's added girls who are a lot younger than me and have a better job etc. I feel so down about myself and think what's the point of dating when a guy can just get a better looking, younger woman with better qualities and isn't like me... Do you usually keep your options open?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Absolutely not. Even from the first date, I am loyal to her until I know we aren't going to work out. If I am dating her I see some things in here that I really like and want to be around for a while.

    If it's been a few months and you guys see each other a lot or regularly then let him know that you aren't seeing anyone and see what he says. If you don't like his answer then you can split.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd never do that. The sole reason I date a guy is to get to know him more in the hope it'll develop into a relationship. I'd focus all my attention on ONLY him , to get to know him on a deeper level.

    Plus, I'd want him to build trust in me. I'd never earn his trust If I was dating multiple guys at the same time

    If a guy I was dating was keeping his options open by seeing other girls then I'd make his choice for him... by ending it

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • Kinda depends on how long you guys were dating. If it's just new, that sometimes happens; people keep their options open in case the person they dating isn't working out. But if you guys were dating for a while, then their isn't a reason to have options. You should talk to him about your concerns & feelings about your status. You both gotta decide on whether you wanna make it official being girlfriend & boyfriend or call it off if he's not into taking it serious while you are

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  • Keeping options open depends on how you anticipate the future with the other person. If I liked someone and was confident they liked me back, then I wouldn't keep my options open. But if I didn't like them enough or felt like it wouldn't work, then I'd keep options open.

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  • It really depends on how serious I am about her. If I had just started talking with the girl, I "may" try to not talk with others, but if the first few conversations do a good job at connecting me with her, I'm very likely to stop looking elsewhere. At the moment I have stopped searching ever since I grew to like this one girl, even though she lives thousands of kilometres away, which is sad and a little frustrating.

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    • Should have added that, if you're serious about him, try to impress him more. Perhaps he'll stop. But chances are that he's going to be like that no matter what you do so perhaps move on and search for someone who's more focused on one girl, not multiple.

  • I am intentional about when I am just dating women, versus going steady with just one woman (dating exclusively). If I get past three dates successfully with a woman, then I am probably going to ask her to date exclusively, and stop seeing others.

    While it may be challenging for you to do emotionally, you should consider dating around until you mutually click with a guy who is just as into you as you are. Just try not to allow yourself to be a backup girl.

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  • Vaguely. I have many wants, but try not to be a perfectionist when it comes to love. If she's a loving Christian, that's all the VERY musts.
    Still, I have very many strong desires. (Especially red hair! lol Inside matters most by far, but redheads have such a wonderfully magical look and feel. hehe)

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  • Yeah, kinda dumb to put all your eggs in 1 basket. I learned that way back when I was a teenager. It's normal to see a dozen if the schedule allows and there's no commitment. So if shit happens with 1 it's no big deal and you won't get all that depressed about it.

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  • Unless you two have had the monogamous talk... ALWAYS presume the other person is seeing other people.

    I seriously don't get what is so damn hard to understand. If you two aren't monogamously together, then there IS no commitment.

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    • I'm aware of that but I don't want to date other people given I have feelings for him, him on the other hand I sense is dating other people. I would rather just be single I don't want to feel like I have to compete for someone.

    • dating is ALWAYS a competition in the beginning stages

  • Unless there's at least a mutual understanding that we're exclusive then I do keep my options open. I usually let her know when she's the only one ill be dating.

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  • Depends on the age and maturity level and what they want I dont think if ur dating ur options close thats y ur dating and not married

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  • if your keeping options open you dont have much faith in the relationship. if its casual i suppose that doesn't matter.

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  • My options will stay open until I'm officially in a relationship with someone. Why would I close them if I'm single?

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  • Until we exclusive I do.

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  • I don't date to begin with as I'm aromantic.

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  • not if we are exclusive

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  • learn to make tabouli then. instant game changer

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  • I just don't understand o thing if you are already on the hunt for better why worry?

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  • Yes and no if I like someone else thean yes

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  • I do until exclusivity is mentioned. Why? Because on dating sites and apps, people have so many options and there's a lot of flakes/ghosts that it's naive to think you're the only person a girl/guy is talking to.

    From my experience, putting all my eggs in one basket has usually ended in a disaster. Even if we seemed to have a really strong connection at first.

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  • I don't normally have the time to date lots of pepole at once even if i sort of wanted to.

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  • Men never "Close" their options.

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  • I don't, I fall for one girl at a time and my heart goes to her fully.

    "and have a better job etc." guys don't care about a girl's job by the way

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What Girls Said 3

  • just ask him...
    then you will know where you stand. its natural for females to strongly connect with a man when they sleep together often but im pretty sure guys dont carry the same connection. but its the saying 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free' senario

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  • No I don't have to hurry

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  • No I don't.

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