I feel horrible for rejecting him after 1st date?

I reconnected w/a guy from a dating site after my break up. We went on a date, but after a few hours I was pushing myself to be interested. I never lead people on and told him truthfully I wasn't feeling it. I hate myself for it, but we had messaged for months and he didn't want a 1st date. I almost feel like he had a pseudo attachment to me. He isn't a bad guy. Did I do wrong? In a 1st date I either feel it or I don't, its always been this way.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should feel great to be feeling horrible. It shows you're conscious and aware of others feelings, and able to take responsibility. Learn from it, see if there's anything you can do to make him feel better, and accept that attraction isn't a choice. It's also not relevant for most relationships, but that's another story...

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    • I tried to make him feel better, but he said I made him feel like crap, how could I judge him etc. I had to block him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's better be upfront right away, because although rejection is painful , false hope hurts more. It's best to let someone know where they stand with you , because it just brings about too many complications in the long- term. At least it'll give him the opportunity to find a girl who genuinely wants to be with him

    I'd never stay with a guy out of guilt. You can't jeopardize your own happiness for someone else's

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You did the right thing, it's better to tell him the truth than lying. You feel horrible, but you'd feel much worse if you had led him on.

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    • now he is messaging kind of not happy, as though I lied to him.

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    • Yeah I did, he was being super weird about it

    • Well, it's better this way anyway, it would be much worse if you had continued and broken up later.

  • that was the right thing to do, it would be nice if that's what most women did.

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  • If it's not there, it's not there. Thank God you were honest.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You don't need to feel bad, it's not your fault or his that you weren't feeling it. You can't exactly help it, feel bad just means you're a decent person anyway.

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  • There's never anything wrong with being honest in a tactful way, I think it's much kinder to tell him honestly now than lead him on.

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  • if you dont like a guy then it's totally fine to reject him

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  • if he didn't want the first date then why are you feeling bad for rejecting him by saying you weren't feeling it? How soon was the break up?

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    • break up was about a week ago, though I didn't expect to reconnect w/this guy so soon. I joined the site to see what was out there and it weed out the creeps.

    • Did he know that timeframe between date and breakup?

    • no he didn't. Had nothing to do w/my ex, I've gone on dates where I didn't feel it even before I got into any relationships.

  • if you regret call him

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