Why would a guy ask me what my plans are for the day and then never follow up?

This guy I've been seeing asked me at 6:15pm today "What are you doing? What are you doing for the rest of the night". I replied and said "nothing planned." He never followed up to suggest a meeting or anything. I noticed that he was online and even logged in to his dating profile.
I sent him a follow up text 3 hours later asking "Do you want to meet up tonight?"
Then he said, "I just got home. I think I'm going to bed hun." I didn't even bother to respond when he said that.

Why could he have done this? Could this mean that he changed his mind and decided to go out with some other girl tonight? Please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately, and I say this as a Certified Relationship Coach, it's likely that he was weighing his options. He pulses your availability and likely pulsed the availability of others before going with someone.

    And here's the deal, we teach people how to treat us by virtue of what we expect (respect, honesty, openness) and what we accept (being texted and then ghosted for a few hours). If you let this be, it will continue. I can assure you of that. And if he tells you that something came up (emergency, work situation, etc.) why didn't he communicate with you?

    Your asking the right question here, but I think you already know the answer my friend.

    • What do you think happened here and what do you think I should do?

    • I think you should do nothing, sincerely. If he texts you again, confront him with your concern--see how he responds. If he's defensive or argumentative, you were likely right that he was with someone else. If he blames you and calls you paranoid (which is a common response in these situations), you were likely right that he was with someone else. We all choose how we respond and you have a choice to make. Make the right one by not chasing him or chasing him for answers. If he reaches back to you, and he will, don't just go back to him. Have the dialogue, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for him, or you. You deserve answers.

    • How should I initiate this concern? How do I know if he is being honest and how long should I wait until I text him back?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you met up with him before? Maybe his intention was to meet up with you but he got too shy to follow through it.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Just ask him. He could've been busy when he asked you. Or maybe deciding on whether or not to ask you. His reasons for not following up on your response could be anything. You can't assume anything & drive yourself crazy. Just ask him in a way that won't sound like your questioning him. Be like "about lastnight when you asked me about my plans & told you i had nothing, did you wanna do something? Im just curious". something like that or close to it

  • He made a Pimp decision. Just gotta deal with it. Thats life. wouldn't be such a big deal if the genders were flipped and some chick blew a guy off... apparently... thats "acceptable"...

    • What's a pimp decision?

    • When someone makes a frickin decision without giving a fuck about how it affects everything/everyone else. Its more applicable and fun when the affected party is female... why? Too many females walking around with a sense of entitlement. so when a guy makes a pimp decision on one of em, 🙌👍👏 im all for it.
      Not like they dont do the same to guys all the time. A little karma doesn't hurt... much

  • yeah kind of or he was too tired to talk about this.. or hez ignoring u just to see how much u care about him!

  • He might've just hung out with some guy friends or something completely random and innocent. Obviously, he chose a bad day to be quiet about plans -- I'd just ask him what he did at some point tomorrow and play it cool. If he's a good guy, he's a good guy, and there's nothing to worry about.
    If you know he's the type to go out with someone else when you've got something serious/exclusive going on, then you did the right thing by not answering. Nobody needs that kind of stupid drama in their life. There are tons of good guys out there that need somebody. Lose him and go find another one.
    But give him a chance, I guess. Maybe he's just terrible at making/communicating plans.
    Hope that helps!


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes