This guy is so sweet and nice but he's falling in love already !!! What should I do?

ok so there is this guy that I work with at my job that likes me a lot to the point where he told me he's falling in love , I'm 22 and he's 35 . He is very sweet and I really enjoy talking to him and everything but I'm not attracted to him at all. I feel bad because every girl at my job has a crush on him and he's turning them down for me, don't get me wrong I started to develop some type of feelings for him at first but for some reason I can't get myself to kiss him or even think of having sex with him. Maybe because he's so emotional and always talking about his feelings 80% of the time.

I just got out of a 6 year relationship prior to this and I have a daughter from that relationship as well. I'm not sure if I just like the attention that this guy is giving me because all he talks about is how awesome I am and how beautiful I am inside in out. It's nice don't get me wrong but he literally wears his heart on his sleeve. If I don't give him attention he gets upset and he tries to convince me to give the relationship a shot and I keep telling him to give me time we only knew each other for 6months and he's already falling in love!

I really want him around as a friend because we can literally talk about anything, but every time I start to like him he just turns me off. We work at a school and literally everyone there thinks we are dating which sucks because if I hurt his feeling I'll be looked at as a bad person or something.

Sorry if I wrote a lot , I hope I'm not shallow I feel as though I have to be attracted to a guy in order for the relationship to work. I'm just so confused , some people tell me to go for it and see how it goes then some say forget it. I need help! I just don't want to lose him as a friend.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "but every time I start to like him he just turns me off"

    Tell him you're slow to warm up and he's going way to fast for you, that he needs to stop with what ever he's doing that turns you off and instead he needs to spend some time being more manly and giving you a chance to develop feelings.

    Unless you're sure it's not possible to have feelings for him, it kinda sounds like it could be possible if he was less gushy and more patient and/or seductive?

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    • I do agree with the last part. I probably would get feelings if he had more control on his Emotions. Then again would it be wrong to just stay friends if it never happens? I really don't want to lose him as a friend but is it even possible for 2 people to be friends if only one person has feelings for the other?

    • It wouldn't be wrong at all but it might be unrealistic, depending on him mostly. If the guy really is in love with you and want's to be with you just being your friend is going to be exceptionally difficult for him, especially when he sees you take interest in other men. I mean think about it, if you were in love with a man and that man said he only wants to be your friend, then he started seeing other women would that be hard for you?

Most Helpful Girl

  • What is the problem?

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    • I'm just confused with my feelings, he's a great guy I just don't know if I should stop talking to him or should I give it a shot even though I'm not attracted to him. The thing that really makes me hesitant is he's very emotional but he gives me a lot of attention which I like but I don't know. I really don't want to lose him as a friend if I do try nor do I want to lead him on if there is no possibility that we will work out.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Just tell him the truth. You owe him that much. It will be a lot worse to string him along.

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  • You do not like him. You do not respect him. Don't lead him on. tell him you are not into him and pick a guy your own age that is uncaring. Pick a bully your own age that has no sensitivity and is a sociopath or psychopath. Those type of men always do well with younger women.

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    • Negative. Never did I say I want that in a man. But if someone is constantly talking about feelings this and that 24/7 isn't that a little over bearing? I said I was having feelings but something with him just pushed me away. So thanks for your comment though I appreciate it :)

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    • I personally don't think age has anything to do with this. I used to act just like him in my last relationship. I respect this dude a lot. If I didn't respect him I would only use him for money and take advantage of him but I'm not. There's times where I'm fascinated by how intelligent he is , but I'm just stuck with what to do! I already told him that I don't like him the way he likes me and that I like him as a friend right now. I Told him that about 5x already. If anything he's not respecting my feelings. I just don't want to lose that friendship because he's a very nice person to have around to hang and have fun with.

    • Why would you keep talking with him or hang out with him. That is on you not him. You do not like or respect him and should not hang out with him.

  • Quit leading him on make it clear you do not like him like that.

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  • "literally wears his heart on his sleeve." was my favourite part 😂

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    • I'm really not trying to seem mean at all lol just trying to paint a picture for you guys😩

  • I mean your still young so it makes sense for you to be confused. We all go through it. I would have to agree with what you are saying. If you aren't attracted to him and when you're talking to him and you get turned off, don't do it. Don't go with him of you fill that way. And especially you shouldn't go with him if your not willing to kiss him and stuff, and that could put pressure on your daughter.

    ^That's my opinion. It's up to you to take it into consideration. Good luck

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    • Thank you! I appreciate the advice. It's just hard because I don't like to shut people down and hurt their feelings 😔. I just feel like if I tell him that's I just want to stay friends he might just cut me off for good which is understandable but sucks for me because I lost a good friend you know?

    • No problem. I'm glad to be of help. :)

  • It's possible he just likes the chase. I bet if you did give him a shot, he'd be just as turned off as you are. He's also very naive because there are plenty of single women out there that are completely free. So the question is, why is he chasing after one that just got out of a 6yr one and that has a kid.

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    • Well he has 3 kids if his own as well, he told me I'm very mature for my age and is very different compared to most of the females he knows which is way he's Head over heels for me supposedly.

What Girls Said 0

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