Ok, so I am 31, and I am trying to get back into the dating scene a year after my previous abusive relationship ended.
I keep hearing from people around me that I am now too old to only look for women without kids (I prefer women who are up to 5 years younger, or 2 years older). It seems like single women in this age range are either divorced with kids, or have kids born out of wedlock.
I haven't really put myself out there yet, because I am still healing a bit from the trauma of my previous relationship. But the general landscape seems to be discouraging.
Please note, I have nothing against kids, but I only prefer to have kids with my SO (biological or adopted). I am just not into women with kids from a previous relationship or marriage.
Most Helpful Girl
While the landscape is definitely discouraging (I say this as a 27 year old single woman), it's not impossible.
I'm in the same boat as you. I'm single, no kids, never been married, never been pregnant. I want to get married and have kids someday. But I'm finding it hard to find any single guys that are in my age range. I am open to dating guys up to their mid-thirties. But there are very slim pickings with guys aged 25 to 30. Which kind of makes it hard.
Most of the guys who are in their 30's already have kids, are divorced or come with a buttload of baggage from a previous relationship. I've been in a few situations where it's been expected of me to fix their problems. I have no interest in that. Maybe that sounds mean, but I believe we have to try and help ourselves. If they aren't actively working on their problems, how will things ever change? A big part of moving forward is wanting to change, if the person isn't willing to try then how is anything I do going to change things?
I think you just need to really start putting yourself out there when you feel ready. There are women out there, like me, who definitely want to find someone. But I am also having a hard time. So meeting someone who is open and willing to date would be awesome.
I can understand not wanting to date a single parent, because it definitely is a bit more challenging to make a relationship work. When a person has small kids, it takes more of their time and attention, which can be hard for someone who is single with no kids to understand.
Not only is the relationship about you and your girlfriend. But it is also about her kids too. You have to consider them in everything you two decide.
There's also added financial costs if you do end up becoming serious, and then having to possibly deal with custody issues with the ex. I know plenty of single parents who won't date single parents. They don't want to have to deal with someone else's kids (they have told me this themselves), which is fine if that is what they want. Everyone gets to choose what situations work for them and which one's don't.
We all have options in life and love and we get to choose what we allow into our lives. If you don't feel dating a single parent is for you, then that's good. Because you wouldn't be a good match for a single parent if that is how you feel.0
Most Helpful Guy
How ironic I came across this question... cauz i'm also 31 and was single for a long time until recently.
The woman i'm dating is 33, with no kids (and does want them). Maybe I found a unicorn!
I'm a testament that it IS possible to find a woman in her 30s without kids! Don't give up hope, broski.0