For someone that hasn't had a real relationship before, what advice can you give?

I've dated two guys, one i fell for but then realized we are too different. He was way too into partying and drugs and i got over the drama of caring and waiting.

I need some advice on finding the one and also why you shpuldnt rush settling down.

Thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm in the same boat as you. I've dated a bunch but never had a real relationship. It can be frustrating but at the same time I'm not just looking to be in a relationship with just anyone.

    That being said. Here's my tips from my experience.

    1. Never date anyone on the rebound. It'll hurt way more than being single, especially if you have feelings for the person.
    2. Never settle. It won't make you happier.
    3. Never rush into anything.
    4. Never ignore or overlook red flags. Doing so will cost you.

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    • Thanks for most helpful guy

What Guys Said 11

  • The first thing you must do, and say this as relationship coach with more than 10 years experience and 500 clients, is understand your needs and wants. Your needs, by the way, ate those non-negotiable things that must have in your partner and your relationship in order for you to be happy.

    You will not find 'the one' until you know which one or which kind makes you happy. Trying to find 'the one' without understanding your needs is like dating without a flashlight. It doesn't work. And if you know your needs, you also won't settle.

    To answer your last question, you shouldn't rush to settle down because you will lose in the long run. Settling is admitting defeat in something as serious as who we will spend the rest of our lives with.

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  • 1. figure out what you liked it to be if everything was possible. Even write it down to be extra clear about it. After that you will get this effect:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo

    2. Realise that every good relationship is about finding someone that likes you back too, that fits you naturally. If you need to convince someone probably he isn't a good option for you.

    3. An unclear "yes" is a clear "no". Relationships shuck a big amount of time, so only enter one to succeed. It's like investing, for finding a good deal you have to look plenty of options, till you see the one you really like.

    4. Ignoring the above can make your life very miserable, even if you consider yourself a tough person. You fall in love before you realise it, and being dumped usually feels worse than if your family has kicked out of their lives. So make sure to choose well.

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  • I haven't had a relationship either but from dating a lot without success, my biggest lesson I've learnt is don't give away too much of yourself too soon. Let THEM get to know you, don't tell them who you are as it may be interpreted in a way you didn't want that pushes them away.

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  • you known what you want so don't settle for less and also don't expected so much. just go with the flow be honest about what you want from day one never lie because your afraid of hurting their feeling. don't pretend not to notice red flags if you notice one just slow back away

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  • Best advice I can give is look around there is probably a guy who likes you but doesn't see you like that yet. My wife was right there the entire time then I noticed her one day like how did I not see her before. Same go's for another buddy who got with my wife's friend after both had horrible relationships.

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  • Find a real relationship

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  • The best advice is to listen to advices.
    Maybe you should realize what you DON'T want first and never do it.
    The rest will play out as it will regardless of what you plan or how much you try to control.

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  • The best advice I can give: you don't NEED a "real" relationship. You have complete green light being single 😀 Enjoy it.

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  • be confident

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  • Try dating a nice guy that likes sex. Most good guys are shy.

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  • Well I have never had a girlfriend or a relationship before but from my observations girls typically don't want a guy who actually has his head on right. There always has to be something there like drinking, partying, illegal activities, cause me personally I just got rejected by a really attractive blonde for a emo guy

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What Girls Said 10

  • Hey sweety,
    well i will give you the best advice I can from my experiences.
    I have dated douches as well, until i met my current boyfriend, WHO made me understand why it didn't work with the douches i chose, I also waited and cared, I also HOPED, I also counted the minutes until i got a text back and even judged his interest towards me through texting (dumbest thing to do) ...
    Well, you have to sort of have to open your mind in this, you have to be yourself, and let yourself be accepted by the person who is interested in you, usually a MAN that likes you, WILL DO EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER to conquer you, maybe it's not your moment NOW.

    My best advice is to ENJOY your life NOW, and let things happen in naturally, don't expect thing, don't plan things, don't PREDICT THINGS, stick to the theory : "When you least expect it"
    Because that's how it is, yo don't have to date every person that crosses your way, be careful, observe their objectives, observe their goals, observe what they are looking for...
    Just BE NORMAL and things will come to you naturally, the right guy will just be in a millisecond and you will not even realize it until you just find yourself holding hands with the man that LOVES you for real.

    Good luck <3

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  • know your own self-worth, and don't give people discounts.

    by this, i mean don't settle for someone who isn't right for you just because you're afraid to be alone. i did that a lot in my younger years, and i paid for it.

    the right person will usually make an appearance when you aren't expecting it.

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    • Professional investors look 100 businesses before investing in 4 of them, where most people invest their money after the fist or the second option.

      Relationships are like investing. You should allow meeting plenty of people, then choosing.

      Failing to do like this won't bring the relationship you want sooner, but latter. You could find yourself spending years trying with people you don't really like, just because of allowing that small extra space to choose.

      leanvoodoo.files.wordpress.com/.../...tortoise.jpg

    • very well said.

    • Thanks 🌹

  • You wait for the right one to come along, and it will happens when it happens. It won't end up working out if you push it, I know from experience. One thing I learned was don't just tell yourself you don't like someone that is clearly into you and just shoo them away. Take some time to get to know a guy before you decide to reject him or accept him. Don't go with anyone you don't think you will end up falling in love with. You want to know the guy you are with really well and you want to have a stable understanding of how you feel for him. If you are confused, wait until things become clear. The right one will come when he is supposed to.

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  • I Never Had Or Wanted A Real Relationship Becausr You Have Your Life Ahead Of You Why Settle Down With One Guy When You Can Have Options
    Everyone Seems To Be Playing And I Like My Hoe Life
    #HoeLifeOrNoLife

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  • Give it time. Don't go looking for it. Be yourself and be confident and a relationship breaking up isn't a failure, it just happens.

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  • i recommend not to act only with your heart

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    • I would recommend the opposite: if everyone asks you to give him a chance, but you don't feel like doing so, don't do it.

  • 1. Don't date someone who degrades you. It sounds simple right? But noooo. It is so hard to leave a toxic relationship and I wish I could've gone out of it earlier than I did.
    2. Date someome who genuinely cares about you. Some people would refuse to listen to you address certain issues because, to them, you are being "overly dramatic"
    3. Date someone who boosts your confidence and self esteem. I am currently in a very unhappy relationship and I cry everyday because my boyfriend makes me feel like I'm too ugly for him. I wish I could get out of this relationship but there are some reasons why I can't now... Only if I could meet someone who can help me love myself more..

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    • If he's making you feel that bad then its not good to stat at all 😔 you should be feeling happy in a relationship. If its the total opposite then you should leave even if the future is unclear or it will harm you even more :/ you will find someone who will love you truly and treats you greatly but first you should get out of what you are in or you might be stuck in it forever :( if you need anyone to talk to about anything feel free to message me any time, I'll be happy to help :))

  • Don't feel too disheartened if a relationship fails. Failed relationships may not bring you what you want, but they teach you want you don't want or need in your life. They also teach you more about yourself , and help you to develop as a person

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  • Don't fool yourself , when you feel like he's not good for you then let it go

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  • I think you should just wait for the right guy to come along
    trust me his out there :)

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