How would you handle this dating situation (girl goes cold)?

I've already decided what to do, but I'm curious to see how others would handle this:

Scenerio: Meet random girl at a random place, hit it off and go on a date a couple weeks later after she breaks up with her current boyfriend (she asked you out). Both say it was the best date they've ever been on, there's real fireworks and chemistry and both don't deny it (both have said numerous times that they've never experienced anything like this before). Continue seeing each other for the next 2 weeks and things are going fairy tale well. The girl seems to be mesmerized by the guy and the guy is mesmerizing by her. She warns him a week beforehand that a relative is going to visit her and that she's going to very distant because of it.
Relative comes and she in fact goes very cold. Won't initiate any contact and doesn't even care to try and see him. Basically shows zero effort in trying to see the guy or talk with him because of her cousin visiting her.

So what would you do in this situation?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • They probably haven't seen eachother for a while. Give her time.
    Or, she planning to throw you away the way she threw away her ex for you. Simple, quick, and easy.

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    • She didn't break up withe her ex because of me. She was going to break up with him when we met and had mentally checked out months beforehand. You're still right though, she seems like the type that would just drop things out of nowhere (she has a history of doing it).

Most Helpful Guy

  • The guy just needs to control his feelings I think. She's just a girl he just met after all, one month is nothing... He should always have plans for himself instead of spending all the time on her. The two have not committed in a relationship anyway. Also, ask her straight that why she has to distant herself because of the cousin. If the guy finda the answer reasonable, then continue. If not, next.

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    • she says that she's just going to be too busy, which is understandable since she works full time and I'm in no way expecting her to spend the entire day with me or for us to text constantly. Seriously I'm not expecting much, even a quick text from her just to know that she's thinking of me is enough. Literally just want to see the smallest bit of effort just to put my mind at ease. A quick 30min lunch is more than enough, I just want to see her. I really don't think I'm expecting much, considering he's going to be here for 3 weeks (it's been 1.5 weeks now). I just don't appreciate being brushed off completely like that, it makes me feel unwanted and unappreciated. Yes, you're right they have only known each other for a short time but we both agree that things have progressed quickly and that it feels like we've been together for months.
      I think you're right as well, since who the fuck am I to tell her "you need to put more effort into me even though we just started dating". I'm going

    • to give her the space she wants and when her cousin leaves take it from there. I will tell her though that I didn't appreciate how she handled the situation.

    • Exactly, ask her straight away why suddenly no communication. But and very important, do not show that you're pissed because of this. Stay cool, it's hard but you gotta stay cool. Make your question concise. Don't beg, don't be too lengthy, don't go around or telling any story, no drama no emotion, just straight to what you need to know. "Why do you need to distant yourself during this time?" I'm sure she'll see the message. She answers? Great. She ignores, also great. At least you know where you stand with her. But be understanding. Don't blame anyone for anything. Everyone has his/her own story which is hard for any other to understand.

      It's hard to pull yourself out of this but I don't know man, it sucks. Been there done that. I have been both victim and perpetrator, lol. You just gotta take it easy, and get ready for worst case. Afterall, it's just gonna be a good experience and a story to laugh at later 😉

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What Girls Said 2

  • She seems like she's not emotionally mature enough to settle down. She's bouncing because she's afraid of commitment. I'd just break up with her if I were the guy. No need to get pissy, she's just too immature to be girlfriend material

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    • I don't think she's afraid of commitment. She was with her ex for 4 years and broke it off because she genuinely wasn't happy and didn't think he was the one for her. She's even told me that she wants kids before she's 30 (she's 25). I know she was looking forward to being single so she could date around but is actually annoyed with me because we ran into each other and according to her I've basically ruined it for her since she already really likes me.
      I do worry about her immaturity though, she's revealed some things about her past that do suggest she's not the most stable person.

    • Don't be a fixer dude. Only she can work through things. She may like you, but that doesn't mean it's good for her to be in a relationship. I'd cut my losses if I were you. Good luck!

  • issues with her friend or even she missed the friend so she's getting all her time

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What Guys Said 0

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