Am I too fat to date?

So there's this guy i have a thing for, and he might like me too. There problem is that he's 1 8years older than me im 20 and weight about 220lb😞 so i obese. I've never been in a relationship before because I've always thought that i dont deserve love, that im too fat. So i always push them away. Deep down im extremely self conscious about my body but i really do like this guy. Anybody gone through the same thing? What should i do?

Updates:
Sorry i didn't think i made a diffrence but i forgot to mention that i am currently try to lose weight. and have lost about 20lb already.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've not been through it, but I want to offer some thoughts. You are fat, but that doesn't mean no one would want to be with you. Every day you see fat people with thin partners. You have a choice and you are choosing to let it dictate your behavior. If you are pushing men away, they must be interested. I would think that would be a positive for you. Trust me when I say that you are nowhere near being alone. I've been with a number of women who don't want the lights on, or they have to get under the covers before the man comes in the room. There are plenty of men who love big women. You are ruining your life over this. You over think and get into a worse depression by doing so. Are you a good person? Are you mature and use common sense? Have a good heart? I could ask more, but my point is that if you are those things, you may be a great women to be with. Give your self a chance. If you fail with someone, don't make that your reason to stop again. We all have those kind of things happen. Nobody lives without those relationships that go bad, or they just don't click with the other person, etc. If everybody let that stop them, we'd have a lot less babies born. Believe, really believe in your heart that you are these things and that you have a lot to offer a man. I know you have a lot of fear and don't want to do it, but if you never do, you will definitely never be with a man and that is not what you want. We choose to be happy or sad. I mean that you can choose to let things bring you down and be miserable or you can chose to not let the bumps in the road dictate your life. You can do this if you put your mind to it and start thinking about the good things about you and what you bring to a relationship. by the way... I've never let a woman who does the things I mentioned above bother me. If they are uncomfortable, I have no problem doing it their way. If you allow it, you will meet a good man who really doesn't care what you look like because it's what is in your heart that really matters. I hope I've helped a little.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am double my partners weight... he's underweight.. I'm overweight. What a great combo right? :) you do deserve love even if you don't think you do based on your body alone. Who are you as a person? There's a reason this man is attracted to you and your body is part and parcel with your mind. If he didn't like ALL of you he wouldn't be showing interest or engaging you. Just put yourself out there. Confidence is sexy and tbh you will get people who will knock you back but that's because THEY have the problem not you. If you live your life and are trying to be healthy and working on you then you can't punish yourself. It's a long road to self love... :( but good luck

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What Guys Said 4

  • Putting aside your main question for a second... you shouldn't enter a relationship if you don't learn to appreciate yourself. If you don't love yourself how can you expect someone else to?

    I'd say work on changing your mindset about yourself and if your weight is an issue to you, then make an effort to lose it. It's never too late.

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  • If this guy finds you interesting then sure he'll date you. But if you think your obesity is hindering your sexual and romantic relationship with people then you should change. Change it by losing weight.

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  • I've seen a many people. And there is no such thing as too fat or too skinny. If your fat your not someones type, if your skinny your not someones type. So you are what you are and there are people out there for you.

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  • So you think you don't deserve "love" because you're fat, so your solution is to push guys away instead of losing weight?
    I mean, I get it, you're self conscious, but you'd rather be lonely and fat, than skinnier (and healthier) and with a bf? :/

    220lbs is a lot, but maybe he's into fat girls. If you don't ask him, you'll never know.

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    • I am currently going to the gym and trying to eat healthier. But i won't lose weight in one day

What Girls Said 7

  • Is he on the bigger side or is he more slim? A lot of guys who are considered "fat" date bigger girls themselves , but I know some skinny guys do too , dont be convinced no guy is ever going to date you because of this

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  • I complete understand how you feel. I use to weigh 200 but started taking better care of myself and lost 66 pounds and I'm very happy with my current boyfriend and if you don't like your body just lose some pounds. :)

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  • I have not gone through the anything quite like this, but I also have never dated, and it has nothing to do with your size. it's all how you see yourself. everyone deserves love, but no one loves someone who doesn't love themselves. work on your self image. and if he likes you, he likes you. I guess that's all I got, I don't know but I hope I could help just a tiny bit.

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  • I have seen and personally know many women and men bigger than you and theyre in relationships.

    So no, you're not "too fat to date".
    WIll it be as easy for you as a thinner person? Perhaps not, but still not impossible.

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  • Curious. If you're not happy with your body why don't you change it?

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  • Of course not.

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  • no you're not

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