Turning 23 this year and never had a girlfriend. Can't get over a woman's past. Do I just face that I will be lonely?

The greatest obstacle I have is getting over a woman's previous relationships and romantic involvement with othet guys, especially from her adolescence (but even past that into adulthood).

But the problem is, all women have somewhat of a past, whether that be a previous boyfriend or close friendship with a guy whom they had feelings for each other.

I really don't like explaining it because it is far too complex and complicated.

I want love and intimacy but it hurts to know she has a past.

I just wish I dated when I was younger. Maybe some of these problems would be nonexistant.

I guarentee I will turn 23 and be in the same damn situation. I even predict I will be in the same position even years from now.


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What Girls Said 1

  • This is called retroactive jealousy, I've dealt with it too and realized its exactly how I act - not being able to get over guys previous relationships or sexual history. Look up retroactive jealousy there's a whole website dealing with it. I know its easier said then done but you do have to realize that its something you can't change about others and instead you should focus more on dealing with these feelings

    • Thing is that is easier said than done. But with me never having an actual girlfriend before, it makes it even more difficult

      I used to crush on @karahiri. She met a guy a while back that she really had a heart for. It didn't work out but that was still her first love, and that guy will always be special to her.

What Guys Said 1

  • You have a past too. You can't change it either. Are you really prepared to let this destroy your life?

    • My past is growing up being overweight and weird and being hospitalized all throughout middle and high school. The first "intimacy" I experienced was with a hideous girl where I felt disgusted being with but was desparate. The other girl was 16 and we were friends, but she turned out to be a hardcore butchy lesbian. Another girl I lost my virginity to but she experienced some romantic bonds with a guy when she was a teenager, but dispite her losing her virginity to me, she already done some sexual acts before and did not want a relationship with me. Of course she was 16 and I was 20, so the experiences she had with other guys her age are nore special.

    • ... but I didn't have any sort of intimacy until I was an adult and out of high school. Just 2 of those girls were teenagers. And in reality, I was too old for them and the other boys that were in their lives before were their age, thus it is sweeter.

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