Girlfriend can't worry about a relationship right now, told me she still loves me and wants a future with me, how do I deal with it?

So I was dating this girl for about 7 months, and it was great, there were really good times and very few fights or arguments. But about a month from last week she started acting strangely, and started telling me she felt like she was suffocating. I was very confused and she never elaborated on that, and then one night we went out on a date on which she refused any physical contact with me and told me she needed space, and that she couldn't worry about a relationship right now. She also told a friend of mine that she still did love me and wanted a future with me, but she lost some feelings and has a ton of very emotional family things going on, her birth dad died 2 days after she put us on a break and one of her new parents might have cancer, and I've been very confused and heartbroken for the last week because I want to help her through it and be there for her but she doesn't show any interest in allowing me to do that actively. How do I go about dealing with this, and should I contact her at all? I've still been texting her and trying to hang out but she always short-answers me now, I text her once a day.. is that too much? Is that violating her space she asked for? I'm out of options and people are telling me to leave her alone, and I don't know much about relationships but is that what I should do?

and also, she stated that she still wants to be friends with benefits during the so called "break", and still wants to talk


Most Helpful Girl

  • As soon as you stop showing interest she will come back to you. It sounds mean but it will work. Just STOP contacting her and she will wonder what happened to you.

    • But I'm afraid that if I stop contacting her she just won't ever contact me again

    • But it's a risk that will show her true colors and you will know if she's the right person for you. 😔 I'm sorry

Most Helpful Guy

  • Your girlfriend needs some time alone now, and you're giving her just that. Try to stay informed about her emotional status, and make sure she knows you'll be there for her when she is ready for it.

    Normally a relationship won't fail if one of the partners loses a parent. The first few days, she'll need time to reminisce, and after that, she'll seek contact with the outer world again.

    Texting only once per day doesn't seem too much. It lets her know that you think about her, but it's not violating her space at all.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Wait... so she wants friends with benefits? So basically she just wants sex... sounds to me that the "I don't want a relationship now" is basically "I wanna have sex with other guys".
    She's stringing you along, dude, move on, get you a good girl.

  • Give her some time alone but don't expect her to come around. Be prepared to have to find someone else as if she really loved you, she would still confide in you and let you in.