Girls, Why is there so much emphasis on relationships and marriage?

I am a 30-year-old guy who is currently in law school and I have dealt with my fair share of ups and downs with girls, mostly downs, for over a decade dating back to high school and I guess it was those moments leading to the present day my perception of girls/women have changed.

I understand I cannot label "all" women the same, however, there is a saying in life which DTA (Don't Trust Anybody) it's a double-edged sword and I'm sure girls/women can agree with that philosophy when it comes to guys/men as well. For me, it's not just about sex with girls, because I have had the opportunity to have sex with pretty girls in the past but hand to God I refused because I don't think it's right to have sex with someone if your intention is not to marry them.

I worked my ass off in school, I cook, extremely meticulous, stay in shape, I love to joke around but I know when to be serious and most importantly I am using God as my driving force to be a better person. If I see people going out on Valentine's Day or getting married or having this romantic night out, it doesn't bother me. I am not going to sit there and be angry because the only person who can make me happy is myself.

I'm mentally exhausted at my age to go out and meet girls because I just consider it a headache now. You may be wondering, well maybe you rush things with these girls or your not interesting... I have 3 older sisters and majority of my family are women so I understand how women act more so than the average guy. I'm just caught in this dilemma is it ok for someone to die alone, who is still a virgin... I guess for over a decade I've dealt with girls choosing the bad boy over the good genuine guy, or the girls who said "ew you're not 6ft4+" or other dumb stuff... I just find that behavior superficial, why should I leave my happiness in the hands of a girl? I don't care what anyone says, nice guys don't finish last because God is the ultimate judge at the end of the day for our good deeds on earth, right?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i disagree about the whole no-sex-until-marriage thing... mostly because i had no intention of ever being married, and forever is a long time to be abstinent. but, even though my boyfriend of 2 years has finally sold me on the idea of marriage (before that, i was definitely a DTA, as you called it) we weren't each other's 'firsts' and i'm okay with that.

    a few questions for you:

    where are you meeting these women?

    -the venue plays a huge part in the type of woman you'll attract. someone you meet in a club has a very different personality from someone you meet at church or the gym.

    how old are they?

    women in their late teens/early 20s are more interested in just having fun and don't want anything serious (hence why they choose the 'bad' boys). the closer to your age she is, the higher your odds of success.

    have you tried online dating?

    i was in a similar position a few years ago: i was a young professional working 60+ hours a week; i barely had time/energy to eat and sleep, so going out to "meet people" was off the table. but i met someone about a week after creating the profile, and we talked for a month before meeting in person. we are in our third year together and are still happy as ever.

    (i used okcupid; maybe you could try christianmingle, since you're religious.)

    have fun~

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    • I have met girls in high school, in university, at work, through friends, online and I used Tinder, Bumble, Happn but dating apps suck. It's not like girls find me ugly, I'm 5'10, I think I am decent looking and I'm in shape. I would never meet a girl or woman at a club or in a bar or at a party, I don't need a girl to wear a tight skirt and show half her cleavage to flirt or be interested in me. I want a girl who is down to the earth and real and cool. I do care about other people and their well being but I do have a competitive nature... I remember once I was playing basketball and I was playing against this guy I kind of knew and I was trash talking him because I was destroying him and I looked at his girlfriend and said to her, who's the chick in the relationship because he seems to have a p**sy so I don't want it to seem like I am this super nice guy, I know how to fight, diss someone in a dry way but I prefer the nice me instead. Not everyone will like me, I can't gripe on that.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe you come off as extreme? After all, you just mentioned God a bazillion times and like, super religious people can be suffocating to be around.

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    • Well I'm sorry if I believe in God, don't do drugs, don't like to party, don't like to hang around stupid people because I have set a standard for myself which has taught me how to fight, how to stand up for myself, how to have a competitive drive to win and to be in shape, working my ass off to get into law school when my High school principal said I would not even get into university... so you're damn, I will have a chip on my shoulder kind of like how Michael Jordan had... there is nothing to be sorry about actually for having a strong work ethic, to be caring and to believe in God... because your answer seems generic as if I have to be spineless and accept girls the way they are... well then I can tell you if any guy asks you out, you should say yes, Right? Well you're not going to think that way and I doubt you'll respond to this.

    • Actually, I never said I want to be with a girl lol. Are you basically using feminism as a form to intimidate and upset me because it's not working? Did you read my original comment before? I don't care if people are having a good time on Valentines Day or having weddings, I congratulate people on their success and their relationships. You made it about God because you said, "oh maybe your way too religious" so then you are assuming, you want to label me as a prick go ahead but you seem like the angry bitter type. I donated name brand clothes to the homeless, have given money to the homeless, donated $1,000 to Syrian refugees and helped others with school and finding jobs... Who are you to judge me? Worry about your own life man because you clearly suck at giving advice.

  • 1. I mean what age group of women are you going for? If you're going for 18-24 year olds, sorry but we often times are not looking for something very serious compared to women a little older than us. Girls my age also are a bit more superficial in what types of guys they like.
    2. Dating sucks for both genders if you haven't noticed. There are tons of shitty guys out there as much as women. If you keep meeting the same type of women, maybe you're just choosing the wrong types?
    3. Maybe you're not doing enough to attract other women? I. e. develop an interesting personality with great hobbies, stay fit and "attractive" (I don't mean handsome. I mean attractive, as in clean shaven and stuff. If you're in law school, I suspect you already know how to do this), etc.

    Complaining does not help especially at your age. If you want, you can speak to a professional about your problems in social relationships, and they can let you know where you are going wrong, what you can do to build better relationships with women, etc. Or just try and get to know women in more casual settings without expecting anything much, and gradually see where things go from there. Build a relationship with them.

    Best of luck!

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    • I have critiqued myself in many things in life whether it was pushing myself to pick up a heavier weight or being a better basketball player in those competitive YMCA leagues or even pushing myself to study harder in order to get an A on my test.

      Having 3 sisters, they have critiqued me as well with looking presentable in public, therefore I know when to look sharp and have that sexy 5'o clock shadow look and a nice hair cut but I'm more of the type to wear some classic Jordans or Nikes, fitted jeans and a nice tshirt with a snapback on backwards, that's the real me.

      Females who are 24-31, anything beyond that is way too young for me, if I dated a girl who was 18, ew I would think wtf is wrong with me that is a straight pedo. In terms of personality, I listen, I communicate, I am a liberal minded guy, I like to travel, go to historical places, sporting events, movies/shows, talk about politics to media & etc at some point I can't blame myself, maybe it's the girl herself & her views?

    • hey I've asked my friends and family for advice too, and they all say I'm pretty/need to be more confident. doesn't mean I'm attractive enough/can't do more to make myself more attractive. i do agree with the confidence factor though. that does a lot to get people's attention.

      also like i said, it could be the age group you're going for. girls my age rarely want to settle down, unfortunately.

  • I agree with your opinions on no sex without the intent of marriage and it's upsetting that more people are okay with sleeping around

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